As a follow up to this thread (and have basically just reversed the genders in Gestalt’s OP)
So ladies,
If you had the option of having sex with a man with a totally hot body and amazing face who basically just lay there, or a really unattractive guy who was either really overweight or way too thin or otherwise had an unattractive body (but not so overweight that it inhibited movement) who was an total amazing tiger in bed, which would you pick? Note that the hot and ugly men are not conventionally hot or ugly, they’re at the far ends of the bell curve (like, hottest possible man vs. ugliest possible man).
What about to date, if they were equally compatible otherwise?
Oh, and I don’t know if this is even an issue, but sex is possible with the unattractive one because you can get aroused knowing how good he is in bed.
Obviously, I’m curious how the replies will differ, and if this thread will produce SDMB gems like this
(at least he didn’t add in a racial slur, am I right, ladies?)
Having to choose, I’d take the ugly one and just turn off all the lights. Unless he smelled bad or something. I’m not passive in bed, but I do tend towards the submissive. Any guy just lying there isn’t going to turn me on at all, no matter how hot he is. Unless he’s Johnny Depp. Then he can be as still as a corpse for all I care.
What olives said, but if I absolutely must lie with one of them (say it’s the end of the species otherwise) and assuming the handsome stiff didn’t ping my self-absorbed-pig-radar, I imagine I’d kiss him first, realize he slobbers while grabbing each tit with a claw and trying to hump me through my jeans, kiss the frog and notice he can do it right, hence fucking the frog thank you much.
Mind you, after the sex I’d probably start trying to cut down on the frog’s food portions…
The biggest turn-on to me is how into me he is. A passive guy is just gonna make me really insecure. A relatively unattractive (but well-groomed, no BO or bad breath) but very into me guy would be my choice.
I have a VGF who is, to put it mildly, below average in looks, body (big boobies) and a rather tedious personality. (Nice and good person, but very sheltered and rather bland in large doses. Small doses or her are still overwhelmingly mindnumbing.)
She makes up for this, however, by being a nympho.
I have listened to details about her sex life for 10+ years with her husband.
I’ve learned alot about sex toys from her.
And she has an idential twin sister, whom ( according to the hubby) is even worse in the blah blah blah department and more of a nympho.
For being very sheltered ( stereotypical racist ie all black people are evul.) and being raised in a small micro-community, she is remarkably well informed about sex.
You would not know it by looking at her.
Personally, I’d rather have a really good massage.
I could care less what he looks like. If we have that chemistry between us I’d ride him til we both passed out from dehydration and exhaustion whether he be Johnny Depp or Louie Anderson.
I realize this isn’t keeping with the spirit of the question, but…
I would actually try not to choose by those criteria, and if forced to choose, it would be neither.
I have to be attracted to him - not to say that he must be attractive, which is one thing, but he must be attractive to me, which is something entirely different. If he is reluctant or passive in bed, is it because he is inexperienced or insecure? I can fix that. Or is it because he can’t be bothered. I won’t bother fixing that.
Reading the men’s version of this thread was, for the most part, a nauseating experience. When did sex become an excuse to discount another person’s humanity? Yes, we all know that men are more oriented to visual elements when it comes to arousal. We all know that men prefer young, slender, and pretty, both for fertility and status reasons.
You can pose all the hypothetical questions you want, but in the end, sex is about the people involved. A man willing to choose physical traits over sexual pleasure in the act itself has some very strange priorities.
Yeah, I must admit my reaction is the same as it was to the original thread, which is “That is a silly question. I don’t *have * to have sex with anyone, and why would I choose either of those people?”
Of course in reality, if confronted with these two men and in the mood for some lovin’, since there’s no way to know how good someone will be in bed without having sex with them, the ugly guy isn’t getting a shot. Which means I’d probably wind up with the good looking guy, for about ten minutes, and then think “The hell, I can have better sex than this by myself” and go home.
I pick D - I’ll let the hot guy ride me while the ugly guy rides him. That way I get enthusiasm by proxy and the hot guy to look at and the hot sweaty mansex. Woohoo!
(why yes, I am a complete unredeemable pig. why do you ask?)
whichever one I was in love with who was in love with me and was in a committed, exclusive relationship with me. As long as that is in place I can work with not so great in bed or not so great to look at.