Funny, I found it was full of men who made bad choices in their lives.
Mostly, my ex’s. That it kept trying to match me with…
When I was younger it happened to me a lot. If you’re riding public transit or frequenting busy spots, attractions etc, it could happen two or three times a day. And yes, it did get irritating after a while.
At first you think, oh, it’s just because I’m smiling and happy, I should dial that back. Next you think, oh, it’s just because I’m so open and approachable, I should be more guarded. Next you realize it’s also partly that I’m short/small and look younger! Wait, I can’t fix that!
Pretty soon you’re dressing like an older woman and taking your commute with a dour scowl glued onto your face, never making eye contact with others. Ick. And then, it still happens!
It’s partly that I was just in the right target age, back then I think. It happens much less often now that I’m over 50. That only makes it more surprising when it does!
Eventually I decided it was all about appearing, happy, open and at ease. People find that combination very inviting, and approachable, I think.
Don’t forget
A few men: “How dare you be annoyed, you ungrateful bitches. I guess we’ll just go fall on our swords now!”
Women everywhere: “Mmm yeah baby, nothing like the anger of a frustrated man to make us want to date you!”
Oh wait.
How you doin’? 
This thread…
Well at almost 40 it has cut down a good bit for me, too. In my twenties it was pretty constant. Probably at least once a day. As others have said, it depends on the context. Men that get that, well they are the men that might get dates. The men that are accosting me in an elevator alone in the evenings are the ones that get the stinkeye.
I remember both kinds. But it really seems like some men have NO idea what the appropriate moment is. The CVS line getting cold medicine is not a good place for example.
First, there’s a difference between talking to strangers and hitting on strangers in non-social places.
Second, just because it’s common, doesn’t mean that it’s ok. Some women genuinely like being hit on by strangers most of the time. Some don’t mind it. Some tolerate it, and just accept it as one of the annoying costs of going out in public, like getting stuck in traffic or losing your umbrella and then being caught in the rain. Some hugely don’t like it, but don’t make a scene at the moment because of embarrassment or fear.
Also, I don’t know how common it really is. I’m guessing the number of people who hit on strangers in public is relatively small, but they hit on a lot of people, so it seems like it happens all the time.
Squickiest place I’ve been hit on - at work, by one of my patients. He was twice my age, unattractive, unpleasant, and I’d already seen him naked. I’m not dating anyone when I’ve already seen their penis before the first date.
I don’t get hit on all that often in public, but when I do, it does annoy me. I can’t speak for all women, but when a man starts hitting on me in a non-social setting, it throws me into a defensive mode right off the bat. It does feel a lot like being approached by a panhandler - a man suddenly chatting you up with a false cheeriness that screams “I want something from you.” At least all the panhandler wants is a dollar.
I don’t know if some men know how uncomfortably creepy they can be. I had a man take a seat across from me without asking at a coffee shop once. I was in the middle of studying, and he just sat down and started talking like I owed him my time. I was a meek 22 year old at the time, and I let him get away with it for a brutal half hour. Now, at 30, I’d have told him to go away before he’d open his mouth…
For me the creepiest were at bus, train, subway stops. Where the chatter is going to follow me onto the transport. Where I will be a captive audience, as it were. Never failed to creep me out.
Seems a lot less stalkerish if you just wait till we’re both on the bus/train, to strike up a conversation.
Yes, please don’t do it where we are captive. Or if you must, at least just drop it when we show we are interested. Don’t keep trying after we’ve shut you down. I can’t tell you the amount of times men have whined whyyyyyyyy in form or another. Seriously, if you got shot down already what makes you think whining is going to make you more attractive to me?
Some of us think you are far worse than that. There are places were men who don’t happen to have a girlfriend at the moment and would like to acquire one can go (singles’ groups, singles bars, etc.) to meet women who don’t happen to have a boyfriend at the moment and would like to acquire one. There is no excuse for harassing women who want to go their lives without you.
Guys on the street I want to shoot. Guys on the train need to shut the fuck up too.
But outside of street harassers, it’s generally fairly benign, even if at times irritating. Guys hit on me at bars from time to time (it’s dwindling in my old age, thank god), and only the super-aggressive ones are the ones I hate. The ones casually flirting and ones who know when to back off, whatever. I don’t really get bothered much outside of that. I don’t have people hassling me at the grocery store. Well, very, very occasionally and I always find it strange.
I’m an old guy. Thanks to the relationship I’m in I don’t do any hitting-on. But the thing that squicks me out is when women who know or are friends with my gf approach me and, ask, “hey . . .you still with what’s her name?”
My girlfriend has noticed me getting hit on on multiple occasions.
She finds the fact that I have yet to notice any of them hilarious, and she tells me all about it.
Just too subtle?
Nice phrasing – it gets to the heart (tee-hee!) of the matter.
A girlfriend is not an interchangeable cog to be acquired; a girlfriend should be someone you care about so much that you prefer her company to that of other women. But a guy who walks up to me at the grocery store etc. doesn’t know a thing about me, besides my physical appearance and, perhaps, my preference in juice* brands. So he doesn’t want me for me; he wants a warm body who can fill a role.
And THAT’S why random dudes hitting on me is annoying.
- or tampon brands. Please don’t hit on me when I’m buying tampons, ferchrissakes.
The ones that always befuddled me were the crude guys. Seriously they seem to expect me to accept comments like “wish I was your bicycle seat!” as the highest form of compliment instead of rude, crude and inappropriate. I’d love to hear from the guys what they think of their “brothers” who do that, if they’ve ever witnessed that kind of thing.
I once tried to explain why I didn’t like sexual harrassment to a boyfriend a long time ago, and tried to make him relate to how I felt: “how would you feel if some woman you didn’t know walked up and grabbed your ass?” He said he’d love that. Sadly, that was more of a lesson for me than him. Guys apparently enjoy being objectified.
“How would you like it if some guy came up and grabbed your ass?” That is the only way I have been able to get it through most of their heads.
It is annnoying. Recently, I’ve had two that jump to mind. A recent one, where one guy I passed on the street tried to talk and make me stop walking… so that I could pay attention to the previous guy I had passed by who was trying to chat up with me. Oh, brotherhood! 
The second incident is a series of incident. First, almost a year ago, this guy started talking to me while I was walking home with my backpack full of groceries (that needed the fridge). I normally ignore calls, but I thought that maybe he was drawing attention to the fact my backpack was open or something (it has happened). So I turned around and paid attention to him… Only to be held as a captive audience, where he was trying to talk to me, telling me what he did, how he had seen me before, trying to get where I live or worked, inviting me for a drink right then and there, or maybe for lunch right then and there… Ignoring me while I said “Hey, I have to go home, I have these groceries on my backpack”… Until he finally heard and kept asking if he could go home with me or take me home. DUDE! Seriously! Isn’t one of the first things we teach our kids is to not bring home strangers/get in the car with strangers? And suddenly this older guy wanted me to ignore it? He kinda stopped AFTER I told him that I had a boyfriend (LIE!).
I finally got rid of him that day… Only to see him months later at the market while I was trying to buy some food. I thought he would forget me, but no, he saw me and started talking to me again. I just turned around and walked as fast as I could the opposite direction… only to bump on him again in another part of the market. Eventually I just stopped looking for the veggies I wanted and went home as fast as possible, looking over shoulder to make sure he wasn’t following.
Third time, I got out of the bus, start going to the block to cross street and get home… and saw him… again he starts talking to me (in front of two women who look at me and keep walking). I turned around and walked the opposite direction, home be damned. I live next to the university, so I just went to the campus and got something to eat while waiting for him to get away. Then I use another route to get home.
FOURTH time. Walking through campus with some friends, I see the dude coming straight to us. Instinct, I just held on to the male’s hand as if I was the girlfriend until the guy passed by, and then explained to guy who that guy just was.
These were all in broad daylight.
And yes, it is annoying.
The worst part is after you get married, half of them do give up. But the half that don’t give up are the rude, crude, obnoxious, despicable ones. They don’t give a shit that you’re married, and they will let you know it. Now instead of having a few nice, legitimate compliments peppered in, all you get are the awful disgusting comments 100% of the time.