I saw a video (possibly staged) in which they gave several middle-aged mothers a hottie makeover and then had them walk past their sons on the street. The sons made their usual rude comments and… it didn’t really end well for them.
KarlGrenze, you bring to mind my most recent, annoying one. This is a few years ago now but I haven’t forgotten Mr. Creep.
So this is at my office and a very nice looking older gentleman compliments me in the hallway (my hair I think) and then asks me on a date. I politely demur, saying I have a boyfriend (which I do) and we chat a few more minutes and I think nothing of it.
But noooooo, that’s not enough for him. At the time I was working on the ground floor in the front of my office. You could see me through the window in the door.
So Mr. Man decides he is going to stop by every time he comes down the elevator and wave at me. When I am not directly looking at the door, he knocks on the window, making sure I have his attention before he waves and smiles. This is now every fucking day.
At least once or twice a week he stops by my office and comes inside to talk to me. I am a nice person, plus I am the face of my office, so I don’t just tell him to fuck off, besides, he’s not really doing anything. Just being a pest. Coming in.
He catches me in the hallways and makes sure to say hello to me. Once he says, “We should go to lunch together, you and I!”
I have no problem going to lunch with a man who is not my SO, but not with your past behavior, bub.
This goes on for months and months. He never pushes too hard. Just hints around it. I still remember his stupid smile. I so wanted to brick it.
When I told this story, there were plenty of guys who thought I was overreacting. I just don’t get it. Think of a woman you’re not attracted to men. I know men aren’t hornballs all the time and don’t just want to throw down with any old girl. So think of a plain, frumpy girl, or a needy girl, or a loud obnoxious one. She comes to your door Every. Fucking. Day. Guys don’t think that could possibly be annoying?
Well. Some guys do. Anyone who thinks I shouldn’t be annoyed, I categorize as “Likely to use the same tactics in real life.”
Yup! This is the way I’ve had to explain it to dipshits. I’ve also tried “Picture if it were really fat women.” Crude, but it gets the point across.
I’m sorry, aren’t you the one that invited that fellow up to your apartment to call a cab and there was actually someone that said you gave off mixed signals because clearly inviting a man to your apartment meant there was going to be sexy time? Even though you had made it very clear that there was going to be no sexy time?
That thread still makes me a little stabby when I think of it. :mad:
Please do not remind me. And usually an invite to come in is an invite for sexy times, but when someone makes it excruciatingly clear that… you know what - we’re not doing this again.
Anyway, carry on everyone.
“Picture if it were really muscular gay men.” also works well.
Whatever. You’re adorable and I have a hard time believing you aren’t constantly having to shoo away ardent males with a stick.
My cite: You, my wife, and I went out for tapas in Houston a couple of years ago and she and I agreed afterwards that you were triple cute.
Why do you and so many other women assume we men never had to deal with being approached by homosexuals when we ourselves were young and vulnerable?
#YesAllBoysGetCruised
While of different orientations, the creepos described in this thread have more in common with the creepos who offered us beer in the park than most of us have in common with your creepos
LOL - great start to my day.
For the record, OCS and his wife are also adorable.
I am able to go out in public all the time and be around men that I don’t know, and it is not bothersome. I do not find male non-acquaintances to be a pain.
Oh, and I also refrain from bothering them as well. I hope.
Oh, yes. I’ve gotten a couple of really inappropriate Valentine’s Day cards from patients. Married patients, no less. And I’m a home nurse, so I’ve met their wives. Seriously?! What do they think is going to happen here?! How many taboos do they think I’m willing to break to get in bed with a sick man?!
But the worst was back when I was 18, getting my first tattoo. The guy with the needle in my abdomen started trying to get me to go out with him. While his very recently ex wife was on the other side of the half wall. How recently ex? She was opening the envelope from their lawyer with the divorce papers. :smack:
Like most of the other women in the thread, the actual stranger approach hits have dwindled with my aging, but they’re not entirely gone. And I’ve had a couple of genuinely nice compliments-without-strings, too (I do in fact have very pretty eyes, yes. My mommy gave them to me.) so I know the difference. Those guys who really were so taken with the beauty of my eyes that they stopped me to tell me, and then kept walking? Those are the guys I actually kind of wish had stopped and asked for my number!
To any guys reading this, I never got a date out of the “Quit being a wuss, just go ask her out” school of thought.
But nowadays I do sometimes organize dates with women I just met. The difference is, I’m generally quite comfortable engaging strangers in conversation, and don’t need to have an agenda to talk to someone.
Then, if I happen to be having such a casual conversation with a woman I find attractive, I just notice whether she’s making an effort to prolong the interaction, and giving me other positive feedback. By the time I ask a girl out I already have good reason to suppose she’ll accept.
Sorry if this is all very patronizing, but earlier in the thread a few people were suggesting it was an either-or between guys hassling women and guys not being able to find girlfriends.
I guess today’s woman needs to pull up a picture of a hatpin on her phone…in the absence of a parasol that is.
But that’s where it gets murky. Some of the examples in this thread fall into my personal “talking to strangers in non-social places,” although I guess it’s in the eye (ear?) of the beholder.
So how does the guy in the scene below know if he wants to “hit on someone” or ask her out for coffee if he doesn’t first make some conversation?
How would he ever find out if he wants you for you unless he tries to make conversation first?
Granted in your case, you didn’t specify what he was saying, but asking if you’re a runner and then walking away when you say no, only returning when you continue speaking?
That would strike me as more conversation than *You must go out with me. *
Maybe you need to change your definition of “hitting on.” 
When I was bartending, there were men who’d hear a woman order a drink and say “I’ll buy that for her”. I’d always ask the woman if it was ok with her. Most men were ok with that. Some got defensive.
“I was only trying to be nice.”
“You were nice to offer, and she nicely declined.”
nod
“Hi.”
If that’s more than he gets in response, it’s time to move on.
If that’s what he gets in response, he’s ahead of the game; as Herb Caen put it, “I smiled at a pretty girl today and she smiled back. That feels better than laughing out loud.” Still time to move on, though.
If her response is to strike up a conversation, then conversation there shall be.
So if her response is to make a joke about only running when being chased by bears, while he is walking away?
Can you see why I’m finding this confusing? And I’m a lady-person, not a guy complaining of getting mixed signals.
Exactly. As she said:
It’s not like her remark about bears caused him to start making rude finger gestures. She initiated a conversation, he volleyed back, she smiled and ended it, and he walked away.
Why should I? I’m the one who’s NOT in a constant state of annoyance over this.
O.M.G. My SO used to work as a hospital courier. One day he was in the hospital and he saw the guy who lived in the apartment below us. Who then proceeded to ask my SO for a picture of me.
Fucking creep.
I don’t, not for everybody. But if this is such a universal experience, I am not sure why men can’t empathize more.
But there is one more thing. I am not a weak girl by any means but the fact of the matter is, most men can overpower me. Some with ease, some with a fight, but they almost all can.
That is kind of scary. And you never really know which man is going to take your demurral maturely and walk away and which one is going to go “You don’t have to be a bitch about it!” and which man is going to corner you.
I always tell the story of my mentally disabled friend - who, unfortunately, looks mentally disabled. She is quite high functioning but you can tell by looking at her. Anyway a man grabbed her ass! While going through a double set of doors - he was going out, she was coming in.
This is to show that oftentimes men just don’t care. It isn’t because they find us attractive or because they actually want to date us. They just want to exert their power over us in some manner.
Is it every man that approaches us? Absolutely not! Is there any way to tell? Nope! The nicest looking guys can be the creepiest and often the guy that looks scary is super nice.
I like compliments as much as anyone. A gentleman stopped me in a rest area the other day to tell me I had beautiful eyes. I was completely charmed and thanked him. He went on his way and I on mine. I didn’t bite him or kick him or anything. It’s not like we all get furious just because you said something. It’s the persistence and the complete ignoring of signals. Don’t tell me you don’t understand signals, that’s bullshit. Women are not some weird alien species, we’re human just like you, and we give off the same signals.