Well, my girlfriend and I broke up, and I’ve been looking through match.com just to see who’s out there.
On match.com, I’ve noticed that the large majority of women in my age group (mid-30s to mid-40s) have an age preference that usually extends far younger than older; for example, a 40 year old woman seeking a 28 to 42 year old man. Is being a cougar really the norm now?
And a 40 year old man looking for a woman in that age range is a-ok?
Uh-huh.
It’s a cougar if a woman wants man a bit younger than her but okay for men. Hmm.
My prefererence ( I was 38 three years ago when I used a dating site) was from 28 to 48.
It may be a modern thing. In highschool, the thing to do was to date a guy about three years older and an inch taller then myself. At 38, it seemed to be unnecessary limiting. It is hard enough to find someone without putting on age limits.
This is a surprise, why?
Or are you just commenting on the unfairness of a still-sexist society?
Oversensitive much? I’d rather be called a cougar than a lech, which is what people call men in the same situation.
When I was younger I LOVED Cougars.
Christ. Where did the OP offer a judgment on whether being a cougar is a bad thing? And nice generalization there while passing over the fact that he clearly stated he was looking for women in his own age range. Try to save the outrage for actual instances of the behavior that gets your panties in a bunch there honey.
And the OP needed to use the term cougar why?
Seriously, I know plenty of people of both sexes who look in age ranges like that.
elmwood, dude, try okcupid. I know a bunch of people who have had much better luck on there recently than on match. And try not to use the word cougar, it pisses us chicks off a bit.
OK, I officially submit that the term be changed to “tygre.” Same cat, different stripes. (That last sentence makes absolutely no sense.)
A cougar is a common name like a milf. What are you like 80 years old?
A cougar has a positive connotation unlike older men who look for younger women and are typically labeled as predators.
Why would it ever not be the norm? It only makes biological sense to be most attracted to people who are in their physical prime.
Why?
I call men in the same situation a dingo.
I’m nowhere near 80, and I don’t think I’ve *ever *heard the terms milf or cougar used in a positive sense.
Algorithm, assuming I’m not being wooshed, it’s because cougar = desperate old woman with too much makeup.
In what context have you heard it? A woman using the term “cougar” means it in pretty much the most negative way possible (in my experience). Men using the term “cougar”, not so much.
I must be thinking of a different MILF but how can “Mom I’d Like to Fuck” be negative?
I’ve always applied “cougar” to hot, over forty single women. Just a milf without the “m”.
This just isn’t my experience. I affectionately refer to a 40+ woman with whom I have had “romantic” entanglements as “the cougar”. The connotation is neutral in my mind: it is a woman 40 years or older who pursues younger men. I don’t understand how anyone could be offended by that. Maybe there is something in the etymology of the word that is offensive, but I’m not aware of it.
FWIW, I’m 27, male, and love older women.
Because they ate your baby? 
I do think that within the last few years it has been more socially acceptable for women to date younger men than it used to be. I believe this is a reflection of the general social trend for women to be more career-focused and financially independent than they were in prior generations, plus the “Sex and the City” kind of lifestyle being celebrated. If you’re a woman looking for “security”, it makes sense to look for older dudes who usually have accumulated more money and are more eager to get married and have babies. If you’re a woman who has enough money of your own already and isn’t looking to settle down right now, the desire for a cute young sexy thing takes over (same as it seems to do for the many dudes on match.com who want someone younger).
I don’t know if it’s really the most common scenario, though. You never know how firm they are about that age range until you try saying hi. Some people may see it as more of an “ideal” than a strict requirement and in fact would be happy to consider someone they hit it off with who was a bit older.
My boyfriend happens to be about a year younger than me. I joke about being a “cougar”. 
In reality though I wouldn’t feel comfortable dating someone way older or younger than I am.
If you ask this 42yo bachelor, the cougar phenomenon (whether it’s all that big a deal IRL or not) exists largely to reinforce the idea that my demographic deserves to be marginalized. Ie: if you’re the age of these frisky gals, you’re single, and you’re not sufficiently alpha or playa, you really ought to go home and beat off and not inflict your sad self on society.