Stacy’s Mom (or Stiffler’s, if you prefer) has got it goin’ on. There have always been Mrs. Robinsons, but it seems like mature women are being appreciated as sex objects today as never before. I perceive two reasons:
Compared to earlier generations of MIMOMNLF (Moms I Might Or Might Not Like to Engage in Pleasant Conversation), today’s American (and industrialized-world generally) MILFs are the products of a material and social environment conducive to a high level of general health, and the preservation of many youthful physical characteristics into late middle age, even without cosmetic surgery.
More importantly, I think, they are of the Baby Boomer and Generation X generations, and in their youth were, shall we say, more enthusiastically sexual than previous generations, and why stop now? Any middle-aged woman can be a desirable sex object if she takes the trouble to make herself one, it’s really a matter of attitude. Her grandmother would simply have given up on the whole business by her age, and dressed and acted accordingly.
The obvious one is higher divorce rates mean there’s more older women who are unmarried and thus presumably more interested in finding new sexual partners.
2.a.) The Baby Boomers, being a huge frickin’ demographic, are still highly sought after by advertisers. They (the advertisers) consider it in their best interest to sell things to the large group of people with a lot of money. So they sell them beauty aids, weight loss products, slimming gym shoes, gym club memberships, hair restoration products, hair styling products, makeup, clothing, slimwear and plastic surgery, etc. promising them they can be beautiful and sexually desirable and they concurrently sell them (either directly through advertising or by sponsoring shows like Sex and The City) the notion that they HAVE to be beautiful and sexually desirable, no matter what their age.
I’m telling ya, another 10 years and incontinence products will come in thong styles. They’ve already started making adult diapers in fashionable colors.
It’s all about the Benjamins, yo. The green kind, not the Mrs. Robinson’s plaything kind.
The other factor is that there are a higher number of independently wealthy, successful, powerful women these days. no longer are older women dependent on finding a husband to support them and no longer is a husband’s status the primary indicator of status for a woman in society so they are much more free to indulge themselves in satisfiying thier own wants and desires, much like men have with trophy wives or mistresses.
I’d be willing to bet that MILFs and the people attracted to them have been a relatively constant proportion of society for all of history, and it’s just that now, with the Internet, those folks are able to find out about each other and connect in various ways, and everyone else is able to find out about them.
I think this is exactly it. Women have more money and power these days, and are choosing to use that to find attractive, athletic, prestigious and skilled sex partners. It’s not a mystery at all- men have been doing it forever. It turns out then when all things are equal, we really aren’t that different.
A side note:
You’d be surprised at the extent of the female sex-tourist industry. You don’t find it everywhere, but in many of the more exotic places frequented by well-off independent women (say the beaches of Senegal or Belize) there is an entire industry of attractive young men who specialize in being boyfriends-for-a-week in exchange for nice meals, drinks and a taste of the high life in the resorts- and perhaps the promise of gifts or even visas. They’ll chat ladies up on the beach or in resort bars, and pretty soon they are going on dates (paid for by the lady, of course) that go as far as the ladies would like.
A big advantage for the women is that unlike a regular pick-up, these guys will never push your farther than you want to go- if you want to chat, that’s fine. If you want to go to your room, that’s fine too. There tends to be a racial element as well- I think “the pull of the exotic” is a factor, just like it is with, say, men participating in sex tourism in Asia.
It also turns out that in a lot of the “tour the deserts with the nomads” and “have a home stay in a rainforest village” situations, satisfying your curiosity by having sex with an “exotic local” (with the expectation of some hefty tips) is a routine side-business. I’ve been discretely offered these services…they’ll ask “So, just so you know, if you are interested we could by the back of the hut tonight after everyone is asleep. Just let me know.” No pressure. It’s all very business like- just another service- see a traditional dance, eat with a family, have sex with a local.
I think a lot of times the women don’t entirely admit that is what they are doing- they process it as “I’m just having a fun fling with an attractive local man,” and they are just showing their appreciation with gifts. That said, in some countries it can be pretty open. In China there are young men (called “ducks”) who specialize in keeping bored housewives and well-off career women company. Some cities even have public areas where ladies can pick up a “duck” just like any other red light district.
Not all that relevant, actually. Franklin described older women as being a logical choice, rather than a sexy one, and even included the line “when women cease to be handsome”…
MILFs are hot, that’s the point.
Personally, I think a large part is arrested development among modern males - perhaps the first adult women they find desirable are their friend’s mothers and as long as they look back on those teenage fantasies (which also drives continued adult interest in toys and superheroes), the image of a hot 30-49 year old persists.
This is my guess. When I was 20 - 30 there was no MILF concept. Remember that Benjamin dumped Mrs. Robinson for Elaine, and the affair in any case was one more indication of his passivity,
MILFness has come into it’s own as a result of the fact(s) that
1: Demographically there are more single older females alive (and relatively healthy) than ever before
2: Social mores re older women dating outside their age range is less of a big deal these days
3: (and this is very impt) Older women are often financially independent these days and have total control of their disposable income. This power affects their sexual attitudes and lifestyle decision making.
On the front end an affair with a MILF is often much less of a hassle than dealing with the more extensive expectations of a younger woman, but only to a point. Women are women, and if the MILF falls in love or serious like with you, they can be just as much of a handful as a younger woman re expectations.
There is a third reason:
3. More mature women today have power and money, while more younger men have no job or a crummy job and no money or little money. The American economy today is not at all like it used to be.
In the 1960’s, there was a surplus of great jobs and a shortage of job applicants, so any healthy ambitious young male could easily find a good job and if he worked hard could make a great living without needing to find a cougar. The simple fact is that back in 1968, Benjamin did not “need” Mrs Robinson, and back then young males could easily afford to get a hot young babe.
The other side of this is that “hot young babes” and “hot older babes” no longer need to seek out men for security and wealth. They can just as easily make a living without needing to find a sugar daddy, and older men are starting to lose the appeal they could once keep by accumulating power and money. So men are starting to be judged on their looks as well, and not surprisingly the old “hot young thing with an older richer partner” has started to work both ways.
Anyway, I think a lot of the “couger” phenomena isn’t really women dating extremely far below their age range, but rather dating within the normal age range that men do without batting an eye (say plus or minus seven years.). Young women want cute guys now, not a “dignified” oldster. So men lose the power/weath/status pull that used to make it easier to date “out of their league” and have to date people more like themselves…complete with a few wrinkles and a couple of gray hairs.
Feminism, Sex in the City, Grrrl Power, etc. taught them spend their prime years focusing on their careers. Then they hit 35+ and realize guys don’t really care if they’re lawyers or doctors or president of a large corporation, guys just want girls that look hot, like the bubbly young chick with the nice tits who works at a clothing store in the mall.
So then they dump all their vast resources they’ve amassed into expensive clothes and jewelry, facelifts, fake boobs, fake lips, new hair-dos, etc. and take pilates and hot yoga classes trying to catch up to the young’uns.
End result is a bunch of lonely desperate cougars hanging out at the 25+ bars trying to find a guy who’s young enough to make them feel young and attractive again, but old enough that their peers won’t make fun of them.
Unfortunately by this point they usually have a lot of baggage…from failed relationships/marriages, to general bitterness-at-life, to baby-clock-ticking desperation and “what if I die alone??” insecurity, and they scare the piss out of a lot of guys who attempt to date them. But it’s okay, because they can get together with their similar cougar girlfriends, sip some martinis and talk about how men are all intimidated by their success.
On the plus side they have lots of money and are usually good in bed because they’re in their sexual prime, so they keep us sexed up and buy us stuff. Just have to make sure you use a condom to avoid the “oops, I’m pregnant, by an attractive young guy right before my baby-clock timed out, what a horrible coincidence, gosh I wonder how that happened, well I guess you better marry me now!” crazy-trap.
<hijack>
last week I was watching Hazel and she was talking to Mr Baxter’s nephew who just got out of the army. Hazel asks him what he wants to do now that he’s out of the military. The nephew says, “Find a job, make some money.” Hazel replies “Well any job will pay you a living wage.”
Tell me, are middle-aged men who seek younger mates equally pathetic and delusional? Is a 40 year old man in a 25+ bar also a display of wretched loneliness brought about by a familiar to do what god meant men to do? Are a group of older bachelors having a drink after work also a scene of dismal failure and meaningless wasted lives? Is an unmarried 50 year old man a failure in life who should realize he is too damaged to ever be worthy of love or affection, much less sex?
Your post is kind of dripping with loathing for women who have the temerity to get older without realizing that female sexuality is the sole realm of “bubbly young chick with the nice tits,” and any woman who hasn’t spent her 20s desperately trying coerce men into snapping her up before her sell-by date should have the courtesy to curl up an die or become a nun or something and stop offending men by existing.
Never said it was pathetic or delusional. They wasted their prime years and are attempting to make up for it by going for what they want. That’s not pathetic, I fully support that! In both genders. And if they have a generally healthy mindset they can totally get what they want so there’s no delusion.
I don’t know, do you ever see 40 year old men in bars dressing like young’uns in Affliction shirts and Jersey Shore tans (the equivalent of a cougar with fake tits etc.) trying to pick up girls half their age who you DON’T think are lame?
Never said cougars were failures or that their lives were wasted. Just that their priorities weren’t condusive to landing a man and when they decided to focus on that, they’d already passed the stage where it was easier to do so now they do themselves up and embrace the “cougar” label to make up for it since their priority has now become finding a man instead of being a CEO.
Never said they were failures in life or that they’re all too damaged to be worthy of love or affection, much less sex. In fact I specifically stated “they usually have baggage”, instead of “they all have baggage”. If their goal in life is to have a successful career regardless of their love-life then they are completely successful. If their goal suddenly switches to “oh shit, my baby-clock is almost up, I better find a man!!!” so their goal in life is now to start a family, then they’ve failed at that.
No, I love older women. They do themselves up, take pilates classes, are in their sexual prime, and don’t need me to financially support them…what’s NOT to love about that? But I won’t pretend the reasons that have led up to it are primarily an epic grrrl-power “we don’t need men, we’re like Miranda on Sex & the City!!” movement just to be politically correct in a message board discussion.
I’m assuming a cougar isn’t just “an older single woman” to you, but “an older single women who’s regularly on the prowl for younger men” here.
I think this may be part of the problem. Too often people slap the label ‘cougar’ on any woman who’s not dating someone her age or older (hell, my friend’s fiancé is 16 months younger than her and people call him her ‘toy boy’). No leopard print dresses, crying into martinis, or other half-baked clichés necessary.
