Women: Prefer macho men or men who are hip to women's issues?

In My Humble Opinion
41

Um, elfkin477, thanks for the compliment. I’m sure the feeling is mutual. :slight_smile:

I didn’t mean to give the impression I had made up a laundry list of things I “should like”. I just listed the things I actually am passionate about. I have had no difficulty at all finding lots and lots of women who share those interests. Those are the women who turn me on, who I can easily get into deep mutual vibes with. I’m glad they’re out there. Love ya. <3

If my OP leaned a little too heavy on dichotomy (it did), that was to make a point: that these interests are acceptable for men if that’s what really interests them. I didn’t mention my skills with tools and other guy stuff, which I employ as needed but don’t make a fetish of. None of us is an absolute all one way or the other; each of us is of course a mixture of various different qualities. I only used dichotomy in the OP to set out in sharp relief the issues that I wanted to examine, to get a clearer understanding of the workings of this sexual culture we’re making up as we go along.

Another criticism to make of my OP is that it’s a little superficial. because it’s just about things to be interested in, rather than what so many have responded: the real attraction is your true inner self.

I totally agree, although that’s shifting away from the OP a bit. Because no one gets to know your true inner self unless you’ve spent a lot of intimacy or at least quality time together. But when you first meet, can you really get that deep into knowing someone’s inner self? It’s more likely that you will form first impressions based on “interests,” things you can talk about with a stranger. If you don’t make that good first impression, you probably won’t get a further chance to ever bare your innermost soul. So first things first.

I’ve been around the block and have enough maturity to be totally confident and centered within myself, while remaining soft-spoken and not overbearing. I certainly do get positive response to my confident carriage from women every day. If only I had mastered this when I was younger and unmarried, and could do something with it!

So you can talk about mutual interests to break the ice, get the ball rolling and attract people, but once you settle in for the long haul those things are of secondary importance. Then your true inner soul qualities have to come to the forefront to sustain life together.

A man must cherish the woman in his life, be generous in pleasing her, give generously of himself, and both partners benefit from endless reserves of patience and compassion. I believe one of the skills a man must master in a relationship is how to give the woman a satisfying orgasm every time. For this it’s essential to master the art of cunnilingus. If any man doesn’t give this gift of love to his lady, he’s not giving of himself 100%. And guys, I have a relationship secret to share with you that is at least as important as giving orgasms … giving good massages. Learn massage skills and every night do her whole body, do her back, her neck, her legs, her feet, her breasts, her scalp-- each of these areas requires its own special touches. In other cultures like India getting a daily massage is considered everyone’s right; too bad this uptight Anglo-Saxon culture hasn’t taught it. Learn it and give generously, constantly, for a deeply rewarding relationship, show that you care. Release the tensions she got during the working day, revitalize and reintegrate her energy, get her circulation going, and give her sweet indulgent pleasure. I can’t generalize about all women, as each is a unique individual, but I have never met a woman who didn’t get thrilled and happy at skillful massage technique.

This is from my heart, the real deal, this is what a thriving, living, giving relationship is like: down to earth reality, beyond all the posing, the plays for attention, the search for things to talk about, the superficial stereotypes of “macho” vs. “sensitive”. Stereotypes are not for real people. Learn through living what it means to share your life, your soul, and your energies with another unique soul from the eternal divine spirit. And tantric yoga takes your relationship to a whole other level, but that’s a topic for another day…

42

YES! :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile:

(OK, I’m a backrub junkie, but even I wouldn’t beg for one every single night. Plus I’d reciprocate.) Trying your best, even if you’re not very good at it, counts for a lot. It probably just means you need to practice more!

43

Massage… :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile:

This is so true. I literally had no idea what massage and bodywork was like until one day my counselor asked me whether I’d like to try it. I don’t mean that I knew of it and was missing it; I mean that it literally wasn’t on my radar: I knew the word but it meant nothing to me. “People rubbing each others’ muscles? For pleasure? Okay, I’ll take your word on it…” I’ve always loved backscratches and hugs, but somehow the idea that massage might be somewhere in that same universe never occurred to me.

Honestly, we Anglos are so body-blind sometimes…

Of course, now that I’ve found out about it, I’ve been described as a ‘massage sponge’. I only wish I had someone to give it to as well.

And I’ll have to take your word about the ‘tantric’ thing. :slight_smile:

44

Too far on either end of the spectrum is a turnoff to me. My husband doesn’t know a thing about sports, but he can (and has) rewired the electricity in our house. He plays RPGs, computer games and does creative stuff, but he can also build a computer from the ground up. (Not that I need him for that, since I build my own computer and he does his.) He can cook, but he wouldn’t know a dirty bathroom if he fell in it. He occasionally does things that make me throw up my hands and say, “You’re a man, aren’t you?” (Like staring into the refrigerator and calling to me, in another room, to ask where the mustard is.) But he also isn’t full of machismo; doesn’t talk about me to his friends; compliments me sometimes; surprises me with romantic gifts; gives great massages; and will even admit he likes some chick flicks.

He’s great! Really, really great, and I’m very happy that I found him.