Eh, if you read my posts, it’s kind of implied anyway. 
I think this deserves a gameshow-style ding ding ding. Not being able to ‘give’ a woman an orgasm is one thing (and subject to interpretation, since most women don’t orgasm from penetration alone). Not caring if she has one or not, or doing things for her that help her get there, is quite another.
Nope.
Nope to having more with the cheat-friend, too.
Sex is only about orgasm to me when I’m masturbating. Otherwise, it’s a whole 'nother animal.
I’m female, so when I get bashed for generalizing, remember I’m generalizing about EVERYONE,. but…guys don’t really try to excuse cheating. It’s a big ‘duh’ as to why. And you have it right, I think. 
Women seem to feel the need to come up with reasons, but I don’t see any real differences except for the excuses part. And I cheated on every relationship longer than 6 months until about 10 years ago, when I just got lazy. Up to that point, there was always a ‘reason’. Lately it’s just too much work. 
I don’t really believe in monogamy. I mean, I know it exists, but I think it is kind of natural and normal for couples to have sex outside of the relationship. I used to think I was a freak for thinking that, but then I realized everyone I know (almost) cheats or has cheated. Then I started thinking I was in a sick culture/family/neighborhood where we all are morally bankrupt. But I remembered that a huge amount of people I admired for their character probably cheated. (I’m looking at you Dr. Martin Luther King, but there are legion).
So, I don’t know. I do know this though. Every woman I know has some excuse other than being a hot ass for cheating.
When your body is on fire, and your vaginal area is moistening with enough lubricant so that your lover can slide in, guess what? It’s about an orgasm or pursuit thereof. I mean, come on. I know sometimes it is about ‘oh, he cheated on me, he is emotionally unavailable, I am so pure and put upon, blah blah blah’.
But when some guy has your legs up in a motel room, you are working toward a feeling, and I don’t think that feeling is ‘emotional acceptance’ or whatever, I think that feeling is a climax.
Sometimes. I just am amazed that I hardly EVER hear a woman admit she does it because she likes how it feels to have sex with a man that is not her husband, or that she needs something physical from this man (larger penis, longer stamina, better headgame) that her husband can’t give.
I think anyone who says it’s not about sex is full of crap. If it wasn’t about sex, you wouldn’t be fucking him, you’d just be very good friends.
That said, of course it’s also about attention, and the rush of new infatuation, and just feeling desirable. And men cheat for those reasons, too.
Really? From what I’ve seen in this field the usual reason would be to acquire superior genes while simultaneously being materially supported by a lesser catch. You can be with a Doritos salesman for 10 loving years, but 5 minutes with a rock star or athlete is worth just as much for your genes as long as your hubbie doesn’t find out and stab you.
Got a potential really, really high overhead there.
My wife cheated on me because I was a drunken asshole, certainly not from a lack of orgasms.
Actually I think that’s the reason she didn’t cheat on me for as long as she did, sex was one of the few things we were good at together.
I doubt it’s the only reason, but I don’t know…I keep my wife’s battery charged at least once a month.
I have always thought that people cheat because it is fun and hot to go to a hotel and have sex. So every so often the wife and i meet up at a hotel to bang each other silly. I’m hoping this keeps the cheating out of our relationship as I’m a jealous guy.
Giggity.
That book is utter crap. It’s 50% complete bullshit and 50% oversimplified generalizations. I would have burned it if it hadn’t been a library copy. Don’t trust a thing it says unless you’ve confirmed it from a reliable source.
From most of my knowledge of cheating situations, women are in a transitional status… they know what it means for the relationship and they’ve done the math on the various endgames. Either consciously plan to get with the new guy, or they wouldn’t mind if things worked out that way, or they’re just trying to ditch the old guy, or they know they’re going to get to keep the best of both worlds somehow.
The main point is that when they embark on affairs, women generally know what color their parachute is, whereas men are genuinely surprised when they pull the ripcord and an anvil pops out.
The first part of your post I agree with, and would apply it to both genders. This quoted part? This is crap.
Among both men and women, there are essentially two kinds of cheaters, those who want to get caught (albeit often subconsciously), and those who don’t. Now, among the second group, you can break it down into “people who are careful” and “people who think their SO is a moron”, and I’ll concede that the latter group are indeed often caught with their pants down, having given no thought to what would actually happen if they got found out.
Nothing to do with gender here though, I’ve seen men and women be equally cunning and equally sloppy with their cheating.
I cheated on my husband at the end of our marriage because I couldn’t stand him. The marriage was over and I was saving for the divorce. I am not a cheater by nature but fell in love with someone else and was no longer in love with my husband. It had nothing to do with orgasms. I can has as many as I want.
I don’t think it is always bad sex that makes people cheat. Some cheaters love the people they are married to but just like the thrill of the chase. I have also been cheated on and had no clue as the relationship seemed fine sexually at the time.
Some people are just cheaters period.
I’ve also heard the same idea, along with the speculation that the function of that response is that it makes cheating more efficient by increasing the chance of conception.
I’m irresistibly reminded of the old line, “A woman needs four animals in her life: a mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the driveway, a tiger in bed, and a jackass to pay for it all.” Not that all women are like that, but IMHO the female equivalent of the man who looks at women just as sex toys is the woman who looks at men just as resources to be exploited. I tend to wish them on each other…
I know of at least one case where it was due to revenge*. I don’t now if it was the sole reason, but revenge had a lot to do with it.
*i.e. wife found an email from some woman on her husband’s phone saying “You didn’t cum inside me did you?”. She then called up an old friend and took photos of the two of them going at it and emailed them to the husband.
After reading here I’m wondering if it would be fair to say that people cheat for the mood-altering aspect.
I cheated (on boyfriends, not my husband–never cheated on him!) because I had low self-esteem. I got a kick out of flirting and felt validated when anyone would respond, and that would sometimes lead to opportunities to cheat. Also, I was too much of a wuss to break up or make changes if a relationship was getting stale or problematic. So I’d be unhappy and looking for something exciting.
Looking for more/better orgasms had nothing at all to do with it. I was inconsiderate and selfish.