Women, would you pay for male attention

In My Humble Opinion
1

Over on this thread the topic is would you pay a male for sex. The answer is generally no in part because sex is something women can get for free, plus the fact that it’d be sex with a stranger.

But several months ago I watched a documentary on netflix called The Great Happiness Space

It is about a club in Japan where men find women, pretend to be in love with them and shower them with attention in exchange for money. Well, not money directly. What they’d do is sell the women grossly overpriced drinks and tell them they need to buy the drinks to get to hang out with the men.

I got the impression that there were several clubs like that in Japan.

One thing the main host said is he doesn’t have sex with the women, because if he does they lose interest. His goal is to get money from them so he constantly leads them on with promises of someday getting out of the life and marrying them.

The title is pretty funny because the whole thing is cyclical ennui. Lonely men pay women (prostitutes and strippers) for attention. Then those women pay the men at the clubs money to pretend to be in love with them. Then the men feel lonely because all their relationships are shallow. Hence ‘the great happiness space’.

So naturally, I know many women will probably be offended by the idea of paying someone to pretend to be in love with them. So I have no idea where this thread will go.

But as a serious question would women who feel overwhelmed, bored, ignored, unattractive, etc. in their day to day lives pay someone (indirectly pay them, directly doing it probably wouldn’t work as is the impression I got from the film about Japan) to spend time with them, listen to them, excite them, tell them how desirable they are, etc? I don’t know tons about prostitutes, but I thought this was a major appeal some men had for prostitutes. Just someone to talk to and spend time with. Don’t some men just pay for conversation and dates rather than quickie sex?

Therapist with benefits.

This shall end badly I predict.

2

In reality, I fear, many women already do. They become sugar mommas for guys who compliment them and wine and dine them - then mention some financial problems they are currently having and the woman, not wanting to lose that divine spotlight, willingly pays for his needs so that he will keep paying attention to hers.

Of course, none of it is real because both have ulterior motives (the men want money, the women want attention and fantasy) and it works for a while but eventually she’s broke and he’s bored and off they go their separate ways.

But for a little why? Yeah, I can see where it would be great.

Just like the way it’s cool to go to the strip club until you run out of dollars . . .

3

Sounds like geisha, but for women.

I can’t see myself doing it, but I don’t lack male attention at the moment. I can see why someone would though, if they’re lonely, or even just want the companionship without the complications of a relationship.

4

Yep. Some are sexual relationships, some are gay guys (and some are both!).

I actually saw and enjoyed that doc. As I mentioned in the other thread, it was interesting to see how the hosts complained about many of the same things as escorts (feeling drained, being used, etc.).

Having known a very high-end prostitute or two, while they are definitely being used as therapists by regular clients (albeit fawning therapists who cant give real advice or tell their patient he’s being an asshole), rarely are they paid for an evening or week away without sex entering the equation. Lots of the clients fool themselves into thinking they were ‘different’ or ‘special’ in their eyes. Only it was true… to a point. These escorts would prefer to see men who were clean, charming and tipped well, but they weren’t about to accept a marriage proposal.

I imagine this happens quite a bit in the host world. Clients deluding themselves into thinking the money isn’t important and they have a real connection (and then, one time in a million, that being true). The movie, to me, seemed a lot like the women were paying these guys to pretend they were all back in high school or college, with lots of flirting and jealousy. The guys weren’t fawning geishas – they insulted and teased the women and made them compete for their affections. In their lives, or at their ages, I imagine they don’t have the time or network for that sort of extended adolescence or group of unmarried male friends.

5

I’m not offended by the idea of it. I don’t see it as being all that different from a strip club…though perhaps some women are offended by those, too. I am not. :stuck_out_tongue:

Personally, though, I don’t think I would be interested in such a thing. I’m sure if would feel great in the moment, and would be one of those things to do just to joke about having done it…but once you leave and realize they were just placating you, I think any good feelings would wear off fast.

Much as I do love flattery and attention, I like it to be genuine interest.

6

Now this I might be able to get behind. Someone solely their for your entertainment? Sounds like a doable idea to me.

7

I haven’t seen this documentary, but what you’re describing is a Japanese “host bar”. These are counterparts to the vastly more common “hostess bars”, which cater to men. At both types of establishments there are attractive employees who socialize with the patrons, generally flirting with them and acting like the patrons are really great. Overpriced drinks and snacks are naturally involved. Sex usually is not.

It’s my understanding that it’s pretty common for Japanese salarymen to visit hostess bars, either for their own enjoyment or while entertaining clients or other business connections. Ordinary Japanese women are less likely to visit a host bar, and I have heard that the clientele is mostly hostesses, strippers, cocktail waitresses, and other “water trade” workers who want to have someone catering to them for a change.

8

I’m not opposed to the idea, but I’ve already got a guy who pays me all the attention I want. So really if I wanted to hire a guy to do things for me, I’d hire him to do housework/fix all the worn out stuff around the house that needs repair.

Now, that would be luxury :slight_smile:

9

Is it really the same women who are getting paid for sex who turn around and pay men to pretend to be in love with them? It seems hard to believe that someone hard up enough to sell themselves would squander money on that but then, people aren’t always rationale. Also, you’d think a woman in that situation would be aware of how fake it is but maybe they know and just don’t care?

10

I’d say that this is about 50% of the motivation for haircuts, pedicures, and professional massages. Also quite a few doctor, psychiatrist, and chiropractor visits.

You aren’t having romantic conversation with these people, but you’re paying them to pay attention to you. The intimacy and physical contact make it somehow different from paying someone to steam-clean your carpets or fix your brakes.

11

This is interesting! I was under the impression that it was also rich, bored, older housewives who might visit establishments like this.

…granted, my impression is solely formed by my huge collection of gay Japanese comics, so not likely to be realistic…

12

I’ve never been to a host or hostess bar myself, but it’s not like it’s a secret that the employees are only doing what they’re paid to do and while I was in Japan I never heard the word “love” used in a description of the host/ess bar experience. It’s more that the host/ess is pretending that they think the patron is really awesome or some kind of big shot. Hosts and hostesses also do things like tell jokes, do bar tricks/games, and sing karaoke with patrons.

I’m sure hostesses, cocktail waitresses, etc., who go to host bars are well aware that it’s all fake. But I guess I can understand how if it’s your job to always be the cute girl saying things like “Oh, that’s so interesting! Tee hee hee, you’re so funny! I’ve always thought men with gray hair were really sexy!” as she hands more drinks to middle aged businessmen then it might be a nice change of pace to have some hot young guy bringing YOU drinks, lighting YOUR cigarettes, and generally acting like he’s really enthralled by what YOU have to say.

There probably are bar patrons who do convince themselves that the host or hostess is really in love with them and that it’s not just an act, but the same things happens with some people who patronize strippers or prostitutes.

Some probably do, but I never heard of it. I don’t think there was a host bar anywhere near where I lived, though. That’s more a big city thing, while hostess bars are all over the place.

13

That’s what I came in to say. Also, this is yet another opportunity to tell about the time when doctors and psychiatrists routinely made their women clients orgasm as a cure for their nerves. And how glad those doctors were when the manual labour of that part of their jobs was mechanized by the invention of the vibrator.