"Woooo!!! I AM MASTURBATING LIKE A MOTHER FUCK!!!"

[OpalCat]

@MsRobyn

I don’t think I want pie from that guy.

Robin

It’s the guy from that American Pie movie, isn’t it!

[Morrigoon]

@troub

In other news, a man was arrested today on charges of distributing misleading phrasebooks to foreign travellers. . .

Poorly remember Monty Python sketch

All your hovercraft are belong to eels…

[Larry_Mudd]

Masturbating like a motherfuck is not surreal.

That, my friend, clearly falls under the rubric of Dada.

Now, if he’d said “Whoo! I AM MASTURBATING LIKE AN EXQUISITE CORPSE, I AM ALL OVER AMORPHOUS BLOBS, PROPPED UP BY CRUDE CRUTCHES, AND COVERED WITH ANTS! ANTS THAT LOOK LIKE TINY VAGINAS, IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY!” that would be surreal.

[HDS]

Just wanted to say that while waiting on a customer yesterday I had a visual of Ah-nold doing just that while saying “mast-tah-bating lak a mudderfokk” and started giggling. He probably thought I had tampered with his order.

[cowgirl]

A friend once reported to me that a friend of hers boasted of having the skill of ‘masturbating like a demon.’

(This was even more funny because she had forgotten that I knew the friend in question.)

Which led us to wonder … first of all, who isn’t good at masturbating? I mean, really.

Second, in what manner do demons masturbate, and how would she know?

So many questions … !

[Kalhoun]

@lieu

Want some pie?

No thanks, I just Oedipus.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

[Elza_B]

@Smeghead

Only on the SDMB could a thread titled, “Woooo!!! I AM MASTURBATING LIKE A MOTHER FUCK!!!” turn into a discussion on semantics.

I’m covering for our receptionist today, and I swear to God, if I answer the phone one more time with “Good morning, snuffle, snuffle, giggle, giggle Company Name, snort, giggle, snort”, I’m so going to get fired.

Ava

[luluBahrain]

I am just poking my head in (heheh, I said head and poking) to say hello to the only other Sacramento Doper I have ever seen. Hellooooooooooo

[tiny_ham]

At least he comes when he calls.

[Shodan]

@Larry Mudd

Masturbating like a motherfuck is not surreal.

This is correct.

It would only be surreal if it was heard in response to:

“Father, forgive me, for I have sinned. It has been six weeks since my last confession.”
Regards,
Shodan

[Captain_Carrot]

@Smeghead

Only on the SDMB could a thread titled, “Woooo!!! I AM MASTURBATING LIKE A MOTHER FUCK!!!” turn into a discussion on semantics.

@LarryMudd

Masturbating like a motherfuck is not surreal.

That, my friend, clearly falls under the rubric of Dada.

Now, if he’d said “Whoo! I AM MASTURBATING LIKE AN EXQUISITE CORPSE, I AM ALL OVER AMORPHOUS BLOBS, PROPPED UP BY CRUDE CRUTCHES, AND COVERED WITH ANTS! ANTS THAT LOOK LIKE TINY VAGINAS, IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY!” that would be surreal.

May I have these for a sig line?

[OneYogini]

FUCKING HILARIOUS!!! i’m crying…

THANK YOU ALL!!

[gouda]

Burst out laughing three times - at work!! How on earth am I supposed to explain that to my boss?!

Even thinking about the thread title (esp. the “wooooo”) gets me giggling!!

[pencilpusher]

Thanks guys. Now I have to explain to my hubby why there is coffee all over his desk and moniter!

[zephyrine]

@samclem

So, you’re upset with the person’s verbal ejaculation, if I understand…

Beautiful.

[flickster]

hmmm sounds like he almost had a run-in with Pee Wee Herman.

[Polycarp]

@skutir

What’s this about a high horse? I merely project that “surreal” will, like so many other words, have basically no meaning in the near future because it’ll be used willy nilly to express anything, much like a few other words that have been recently reduced to mere syllables. I attribute no morals or ethics to the situation, perhaps a little disappointment.

Ah, but was that high horse the one-trick pony, or the dead one which people continue to beat? And are these horses distinct? And which of them contains the Platonic essence of equineness?

::: scares self, leaves thread ::::

[stpauler]

Bolding mine:

@Muad'Dib

(it is where das Governator is currently living).

I love how you’ve neutered Arnie

[Captain_Carrot]

@stpauler

Bolding mine:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Muad’Dib
(it is where das Governator is currently living).

I love how you’ve neutered Arnie

Das may be neuter, but Governator (more accurately gubernator) is most definitely masculine.

Mr. Schwarzenneger is a bilingual hermaphrodite/eunuch, with two identical pairs of male genitalia-one works, one doesn’t!

(Well, he is at least bilngual, but Latin probably isn’t one of the languages he knows.)

[gluteus_maximus]

@cowgirl

Which led us to wonder … first of all, who isn’t good at masturbating? I mean, really.

I think this is a very important, if not surreal, question, and one that bears repeating:

Who among us is not good at masturbating?

Please don’t be shy. Step right up and make your presence known.

Once again…

Anybody out there who can’t get themselves off?
Wet dreams count! We’re all surrealists here!