Hopefully I’m not the only person who does this–if I am, I suspect someone should change the thread title to “Just how odd is Crusoe?”.
Do you ever find yourself using made-up swearwords to avoid screaming ‘fuck!’ (or whatever) in polite company, or in public places where there are children?
I only ask as I caught myself mouthing “Genius!” under my breath rather than using “Jesus!” as an expression of incredulity. I think a little voice in my head suggested that a lot of people might not appreciate hearing me use the name as a swearword.
All the time. Don’t most people say “Fudge!” and “Darn!” and “Oh, shoot!” around kids?
My mother-in-law rarely cusses, she just thinks it’s unladylike, so she’s famous for uttering such memorable curses as, “My word, Charlie Brown!” and “Oh, pickle!” and “I think that’s just bullsugar.”
Nope, Kat, I use it. There is a university in South Bend, Indiana that I can’t stand. In polite company, I refer to it as Notre Freaking Dame.
I have been trying to adopt more benign expressions since taking a more professional job. My favorite one is “Crikey!” People accuse me of watching too much Crocodile Hunter, but for me it goes back to the old Dangermouse cartoons.
When I was a young teenager, I found that the word “Rutabaga” made a fun swear word replacement.
I use “indubitably” for “No Shit!” and “excoriate” for “ass-chewing”. My boss wanders thru the office and will exclaim “BANDERSNATCH!!” for some unknown reason, but its kinda funny.
No time for a sig, Miss. I’m just here to read the meter.
I use “freaking” too; also “blinking”, “bleeping”, “blanking” etc. “Aargh!” or “urk” get a workout when I’m just frustrated but don’t feel the urge to swear. I’ve picked up “_________ on a pogo stick” from the SDMB, where the blank is filled in by whatever strikes me at the moment.
“Genius” is a good one…I’ll have to remember that, since I don’t care to swear using Jesus’ name since I pray to him. Although there are definitely times when I pray in a very upset tone of voice, so sometimes it is appropriate.
Of course there is always the generic heck and darn, but “drat” seems to me to trump both of them for sheer coolness.
I have an unfortunate habit of just letting loose with a barrage of profanity without even thinking about it. I’m working on toning it down, but the other day I was wrestling with a barrette that was coming to pieces and muttering to myself when my husband started laughing. When I asked why, he said I’d said "Shoot. Stink. MOTHERFER!!!" Nice accleration there – zero to motherfer in only 1.2 seconds.
Anyway, when I have myself under better control, I love to use the word “dang.” It never fails to crack me up. I also use freaking, frigging, and fricking, sometimes all in the same outburst, just for variety’s sake.
Bill Cosby, in one or another of his stand-up routines, does this bit about censoring yourself in front of children, and sounding like an idiot, because you constantly stop short, unable to come up with an alternative curse fast enough to finish your thought. The bit was mildly amusing to me for years, but not that funny.
Until I had a 15 month old daughter in the house. For those of you without children/nephews/nieces/very young siblings, this creature is also known as a parrot/tape recorder. Now it cracks me up, because, geez louise, I do sound like an idiot.
“What the h… heck?”
“Get that f… freakin’ thing outta my face!”
“Would you please turn that s… stuff off?”
I’ve found myself getting more and more milage out of bleedin’, freaking, and my daughter’s latest favorite “Oh, man!” Being that f**k used to be my goto default curse word, I also tend to just say “ffffffffff” a lot. (This is, naturally, simply an extended sibilant F, without the satisfying part of the word at the end.)