We buy sporting goods at ACK-uh-demy, instead of Academy. Visit Office or Home Deh-POT. Shop for cheap deals at Woodgill’s. And then, instead of going to the house, <which we say instead of ‘going home’>, we go to the hoosegow.
No, I don’t have a mouse in my pocket, that was the silliness that I grew up with in my family.
The SO and I have decided that we need to start having more things like that to add to our general silliness!
Ex-squeeze me? Baking powder?
Years ago (10?) there was a commercial for Pillsbury cookie dough IIRC, where the father and the little girl are going to bake cookies, and they wonder if he can do it as well as mom. The little girl says in a sing-song voice “I don’t kno-ow. I do not kno-ow…” Since then it is never just “I don’t know” at our house…
A long time ago, Loretta Lynn or some such did a Shake-and-Bake commercial. A little girl with her said “And ahh hey-ulped!” It’s awfully hard, even now, to resist saying it that way.
Radio Shack is always Radio Snack.
A year or two ago, a football announcer explained the ballplayers were wearing pink items for Breast Awareness Month, leaving out “Cancer.” That’s the way I always say it, and maybe it’s OK. Today, you can buy pink plastic bracelets that say, Hooray for Boobies!
I have a calcubator and a refrigigator.
My sister who lives with me never says “exactly”; instead, she says “Ed Zachary!” 
My 19YO daughter and I speak to one another in LOLCat all the time. We get funny looks in public.
(Her: Mama Kitteh, wut u thinkz of this shirt? I think it iz hazin’ a cuteness!
Me: Daughter Kitteh findz shirt that no showz so much cleavage, plzkthx!
Etc.)
My father always pronounced “buttocks” as BYOU-tocks. Probably from the old movie Ensign Pulver. I occasionally pronounce it (them) that way.
“Wha Happen??” /Fred Willard
I use a quackulator, myself.
So did mine! So much so, that when my younger sister thought that this was the actual pronunciation till about age seven, when she heard it said properly on a TV show. She thought that THEY were the ones saying it wrong until Dad told her otherwise!
As for myself, I can’t use the phrase “two weeks” without repeating it like the Arnold-bot did in Total Recall.
I also say, “on a steeeek” like Jose Jalapeno and “wha’ hoppen?” in the style of Ricky Ricardo.
Jalapeno: jah-lap-en-oh
I say switch “yes” with “yus”.
I pronounce ‘billion’ like Dr. Evil from the Austin Powers movies.
The thrift store is “da thriff stoe”. I also call Piccolo from Dragon Ball Z “Pickles”
I want to add that my boyfriend pronounces the abbreviation PETA (you know the group) ‘Peh-tah’ (as in like pedophile with an a) It drives me crazy. I’ve only ever heard it prounounced “Pee-tah”. Though I admit arguing over the pronounciation of an abbreviations sounds ridiculous…
I use this one far more often than I oughta. 
However, the two I end up using most often are from a couple of Movies in 60 Seconds performed by Bunnies summations: There’s one in “Exorcist in 60 Seconds” where they’re asking Regan if there’s someone else in there, and she says “Some-times” in this very tranced/sing-song voice. The other is from “It’s a Wonderful Life” when the main character asks if it can be like he was never born and Clarence says “oooo-kay” (again a sing-song sort of voice).
(BTW, if you’ve not yet seen these videos, they are mostly very good with a few mediocre ones. If they’re not on the linked website anymore, I think you can find them at starz.com.)
I thought of a couple more - I always say libary (on purpose to drive a snooty friend nuts). I also say “brains for mush” which came about when a drunk friend was trying to say he had mush for brains. I, too, say defrogger for defroster.
And Canvas Shoes, should I have the occasion to drive through Oklahoma, I would also burst into song. I wouldn’t be able to help myself. (And thanks eversomuch for the ear worm…)
PS - If I’m feeling exceptionally wild, I also do the finger motion with ET Elliot voice…