AccoutreMAAH??!! What is THAT shit?!! (4:07 into the vid.)
Me, I always say sammich. Sandwich just sounds so la-de-da.
I will occasionally go to Bess Buys. Drives my g/f nuts. I have no idea how it morphed into Bess Buys but when we were recently in Pittsburgh, I discovered it’s a 'burgism. Go figure.
Hee.
That video is hilarious. The accoutrement moment is just the icing on the cake.
I spent the first 10 years of my life in Maine, so ‘aunt’ always comes out “ahhnt,” instead of the more common (zing!) “ant” used by my fellow New Jerseyites.
I concur, although I think the accoutrement moment was the highlight, still. I can’t tell if working for that guy would be the best or the worst thing ever.
“I’m getting drowsy, but I have a nap for that.”
“I don’t want to drive next to that guy. He’s text-Mexing while driving.”
I’m told that phone scammers try to record you saying “yes” so they can prove you intended to switch phone companies, or some such. When a phone voice says, “I’d like to speak to Mr. AskNott,” I reply, “You are.”
I’m told that “Tar-zhay” is so-o-o-o last century, so now it’s “Togget”.
“For crying in silence!” I started saying it as a teen, and now, it’s far more natural than “for crying out loud”. And I too have a “dog accent” - I find myself holding my jaw differently so the voice sounds completely different. I am trying to break myself of that.
And I just learned a new one, courtesy my long lost relatives here in WA. Veloo Vilaaahjje
for Value Village. Heeeee
And I love taking on a terrible french accent while saying (in jest of course) “I cannot work under such Ohreeble condtioONs”.
That’s awesome, I love it! When I lived in TX back in 2004 I’d often drive to see my dad in MO. When I’d cross the Oklahoma state line I absolutely HAD to Sing “OOOOOOOOOKlahoma! where the wind come sweeping down the plains!”
Does anyone actually ever say “For All INTENTS and PURPOSES”?
I almost alway hear “for all intensive purposes”
I subconsciously took on a fake accent when speaking French in grade school French classes. My middle school teacher said I had an Italian accent when speaking French. I’m a Midwesterner of Polish extraction.
I like to drink “melk” and wonder what this “milk” is that other people talk about. I also like to use multiple “pellows” for my head when sleeping. It’s likely the standard way they talk in the central Ohio town where I was born and lived for 4 years or so, but it drove one of my friends in high school nuts.
Not me, but one of my former coworkers: he would always pronounce the word “put” as “putt”. He would always talk about putting things into hashmaps, and I wondered how you used a golf club in Java…
I find that I keep talking in Lol-cat and Monty Python. K-nig-uts (Knights), K-no (know), jus-ta (just a), sch-miles (Smiles), Sch For all words that start with s/sh or sc, art-east (artist), k-wite (quite) and a few others…
Fehew (Few)
Uv-thers (Others)
Oft-ten (often)
Maybe it’s just an accent? (ax-scent)
Several people are giving examples of their own natural pronunciations, which I think is the opposite of what the OP was looking for.
OOOO! I HATE that one!! Since when does making something sound French does it mean it’s hip, or high quality?
Whenever I hear that, I hear Black Adder replying to Bonjour, monsieur. It’s French."
“So is eating frogs, cruelty to geese and urinating in the street, but that’s no reason to inflict it on the rest of us.”
Anyone else curious to know just exactly how often the tree service comes up in conversation.
When my husband turns the TV volume up enough that the windows rattle I cannot simply say, “Thats’ lound for me. Can you turn it down a little?” I must ask “Does it have to be THAT LOUD???” in the shrill shrewish manner of the woman in the commercial for a personal amplifier. On occasions when I ignore the impulse and do just ask him to turn it down he looks disappointed and asks, “Aren’t ya gonna say it?”
In our house we don’t mention accoutrement very often, but ensemble gets the exagerated french accent described in the OP. Where other husbands might say “do these pants go with this sweater?” mine will ask “what do youthink of this ahnSAHMbluh?”
I don’t have many occasions to talk about the Salad Shooter, but when it does come up I must say it in the manner that Oliver Platt did in Benny & Joon when he was betting one in the delightful poker game. Almost sung. Taken from the original commercial, but when I say it I’m not thinking of the commercial, I’m thinking of the poker game.
My Dad always refers to Walmart as Walmarts. Drives me crazy.
You’re missing the joke. People KNOW that Target is really a glorified Walmart, so giving it a silly french accent is the exact opposite of thinking they’re making it hip or high quality. 
I say “faskinating” and “tankew”.
We turn on the defrogger to get frost off the car windows.
Nothing is “on a stick”, because it’s instead “on a steeek”.
Chocolate is “choca-leet” for no discernible reason.
There are a million more - wait, we say meeelion all the time, too - but I can’t think of them all under pressure.