lipo accident
hair chameleon
mirror free home
talkative
knowledgable(smart ass)
ornery
hirsute
suffocated in her own neck fat
drove her husband to an early death
tireless storyteller
opinionated
sweet
nice
alcohol
former stripper
…wasn’t found until neighbors called about the stench
sorry about the necrophillia
hubris
severed testicals found in blender
infomercial
bowling pin covered in KY jelly
god’s will
- Went Peacefully (Not if I have a say in the matter…)
- God/Jesus/Big Bearded Giant in the Sky
- Livestock
- “Horrible sexual accident”
- “His doctor laughed at/when…”
- Dingleberry
Wild boars
Excruciating
Gerbil
1920’s style “Death Rays”
Oboe
Untimely
Pilot error
under-medicated
White Snake
Jarts
Cristi Lane
Pauli Shore
Biniki
Donkey incident
Encrusted
Cthulhu
Liquefied
Zombie curse
Monkey death squad
Looking back, I’m not sure I want my eulogy to be mentioned in my eulogy.
“Darwin Award Candidate”
Impalment
Intestinal extrusion
Shattered
Trampled
“I didn’t know that could end up there”
“Ax-wielding maniac”
“Sharkbait”
With due respect for the OP I’d be happy without
gallows or fodder
Swarm of Fez Wearing Monkeys
Huricarana Gone Bad
Rabbit Pearl
Buff Bagwell
Wearing a Cardinals Hat
“I didn’t have the honour of knowing Matthew personally, but he was a man who, above all, loved life.”
Oh, and:
“complications from pneumonia”
“long-time companion”
“snow snake”
“snipe hunt”
“lawnchair accident”
“after the tribunal decided his fate…”
“irresponsible genetic dissemination”
“still looking for relatives”
“sad but well-deserved fate”
“Dad? What’s on TV tonight?”
“Glad that’s over. I wonder how the fish are doing?”
“YIPPEE!!! Now we can Par-Tay!!!”
CSI
hampster
Anna Nicole Smith
Weekend at Horseflesh’s
You may now kiss the bride
He owes me money
lardass
All your base are belong to us
turdburger
lungfish
Placido Domingo
biological hazard
And the #1 word:
Eskimo
Oops, forgot these nuggets:
groovy
You gonna eat that?
elevator shaft
zombie
vampire
butterscotch pudding
explosive decompression
dirty underwear
[hijack] you are soooo going down [end hijack]
and I would not want the phrase "half eaten corpse " any where in my eulogy
Owners Manual
Tornado
Viagra
Excruciating
Laughingstock
[ul][li] Saved[/li][li] Sins[/li][li] a better place[/li] Judgement Day[/ul]