We had a friend who was always trying to impress us by describing various meals he’d have at fancy restaurants; always mangling the names of the meals.
One of friends said to him, “You’re a regular Bon Vivant”. (except he deliberately pronounced it BON VIE-VANT. It went right over his head; he thanked the guy for the compliment.
To this day we still use BON VIE-VANT.
[QUOTE=Godfrey Daniels]
From my daughter, when she was 3 or 4; ‘elfetent’ for elephant, ‘fat tood’ for cat food. I can’t remember the last time I actually said ‘cat food’.
‘Whasdisheah sauce’ for worcestershire sauce; ‘stragedy’ for strategy; ‘bookay’ for bucket (thanks Hyacinth!); libarry; sammich (sammidge, sanguidge); fox pass; axe (‘ask’); axterix (asterisk); sommers (somewhere); excetra, excetra…
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My wife calls it “Whats-this-here” sauce and I have picked it up from her.
::Mr. Burns:: Let them have thier Tar Tar sauce ::Mr Burns::
Every morning, I get up first in our apartment, because I have to make breff-tist for my fambly.
And every December I wish people “Merry Crip-muff!”
In South Carolina, we drive pick-em-up trucks and serve horse doovers at parties.
Hadios, Amoebas.
[QUOTE=dwc1970]
I sometimes substitute an “oi” sound for the “er” sound in words like “turn”. I’ll say “toin”. or “Ow! That hoits!”
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When I’m demonstrating something, I often say “Obsoive!”
I thought that Whatsdishea was actually a pretty accurate pronunciation of Worcestershire (Og forbid the British actually pronounce more than half of the letters in a proper noun) 
.
My whole family sometimes says ponsuter instead of computer.
[QUOTE=legalsnugs]
In South Carolina, we drive pick-em-up trucks and serve horse doovers at parties.
Hadios, Amoebas.
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See. Ya learn sompin’ every day. We’ums call um Horse D’Ovaries
I had a camp counselor from Philadelphia who called it brekfixt. And according to my mom, the plural is breakfases.
[QUOTE=dwc1970]
A friend of mine calls hamburgers “hanga-burgers.”
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Garrison Keillor called them hambarugers (based on, of all things, some paper he found in a typewriter in an office supply store). I do that myself occasionally.
I’m from Pittsburgh. We miss pronounce EVERYTHING.
[QUOTE=legalsnugs]
In South Carolina, we drive pick-em-up trucks and serve horse doovers at parties.
Hadios, Amoebas.
[/QUOTE]
Mucus Garcias.
I distinctly recall a photograph taken in the 1930s by John Gutmann of an advertising sign for some candy company that took up one entire side of a building. Among various cartoons and novelty flapdoodle was the phrase EAT HORSE DOOVERS.
Because I’m mom to a toddler I say EH OH for Hello. (Thank the Teletubbies for that one).
Only I do it with other adults and they aren’t amused.
Because of Mig I say Chet-ohs instead of Cheetos. I call cheese kwee-soh just to annoy him.
I call the computer a cadooda because I once had a student that called it that and I can’t get it out of my head after ten years.
Aluminum is aluminiminum. Not sure how that started.
“Ronery”, after the Jong-Il.
Refritterator.
Futton (rhymes with button.)
Croy-sant (thanks Tom and Ray!)
Because french fries are occasionally abbreviated as “fr fr” on some menus, in my family we call them fur-furs. My mom couldn’t remember that and get it right. She called them “free-frees”, so we say that sometimes now too.
The Waffle House is (predictably) known as the Awful House chez moi.