That is pretty much the best laugh I’ve had in weeks. Bless you,
terracotta !
Let’s see. In my previous career as a retail petroleum distribution engineer(gas station clerk) I often,
Smoked(not tobacco) on the job
Came in speeding a few times(habit of youth long since abandoned)
Theived like a mad man
Let my friends take all kinds of free goodies
Threw people out more than I should of
Let shoplifters get away if I was feeling generous
Sold smokes to underage kids(close personal friends, not random kids, so don’t be accusing me of corrupting the you)
and mostly stood around swilling coffee
And now at my new job I pretty much just surf the net all day.
Also, A friend and I used to work in a resturant together, At the end of the day we would load up on sirloin steaks that came in sealed plastic bags. We also made of with some prime rib one day.
iggy popov, NinjaChick, Yeticus Rex
This buds for you!
Though I work full time I haven’t put in an 8 hour day in a long long time. I generally come in late, take a long lunch then leave early. No one seems to notice or care.
I also spend most of my day surfing the 'net or playing solitaire.
I once got really, really drunk on Ouzo and just didn’t show up for work the next day. I didn’t call in sick, I just didn’t show up. Once again, no one noticed or questioned me about it.
I’ve had this job for 10 years and while it hasn’t always been this lax I’m really enjoying it lately 
In one of my online training courses, I managed work a copyrighted picture of Bender from Futurama into one of the slides.
Shhhh. Don’t tell Matt Groening.
When at Blockbusters I used to routinely put chump change from my pocket into the till when cashing up at the end of the night and take the £2.50 for my taxi ride home.
Also used to help myself to whatever sweeties/crisps/drinks I wanted for nothing.
The Friday or Saturday night shift I used to shut the shop up for 10 minutes and go get a 6 pack from the Supermarket next door to drink to while away the last hour and a half. I kept it out of sight, but enough customers could see what was in the bag when I came back.
Being in charge of the orders at Tower for the Art dept, I used to get all of us in the department whatever we wanted for home use on top of the stuff we needed for work. Printer paper, pens, paints etc - nobody said a word on signing the sheets.
One of the few real tasks that I have to do with my job is to sit in on a regional conference call once a month. Yesterday, like so many 3rd Wednesdays over the last year, I had to go home sick before the conference call started. 12 calls this year; I’ve actually phoned in for 3.
C’mon people! It’s a 3 hour call on how wonderful this boring job is in other states and all I say is “Hi, DeVena here” and try not to snore into the speakerphone for the longest afternoon ever. You’d go home and nap, too.