Our syllabus consists of you (that means you) telling us (that’s us) exactly why your job sweetly sucks ass like a cheap whore behind a laundromat on a Saturday night.
For those of you assholes who love your jobs-may you burn in Seven Hells for a thousand eternities-please notice the door labled “EXIT” and go outside and play a nice game of “hide and go fuck yourselves”
For those left with me, allow me to provide and example of what this course values. ahem
Someone calls me. Naturally, I answer, as that is my whole reason for existence at my “job”.
They promptly give a reference number, so (naturally) I look it up.
I have to share a few things about the tech who originally took this issue:
The customer’s problem is that they can’t open the control panel in Windows Me.
The last thing they were doing was installing a modem that was not purchased from us. On top of that, the geniuses tried to install it by downloading Windows 2000 drivers from the modem manufacturer’s website.
This, (in addition to whatever other bonehead things these idiot end-losers did) of course, royally pooched the system. So who do they call? Us, the fools that manufactured and sold these morons a computer.
So, the tech takes the call. And supports it.
Let me get this straight…
Modem, not supported by us.
Drivers, not supported by us.
User-error, not supported by us.
All ganging up to cause the problem. SO WHY IN THE NAME OF ZEUS’SBUTTHOLEDID WE SUPPORT THIS CUSTOMER?
I honestly don’t know. I had to clean up after this sacless tech, who is costing the company cashmoney.
Good for him/her they don’t work in the same state, or I would batter them unrecognizable with a sack full of old doorknobs.
It’s all about bullshit. If you cant get tht person off the phone in under a minute dont talk to me. You obviously realized this guy had no conclusion to his life!
Me: helooo this is sooo and sooo…
Customer: blah, blah blah blah blah, blah…
Me: what does it say on your screen?
Customer: blah, blah blah blah blah, blah…
Me: Ok then!! That’s what you need do do! Here’s my extension -give him a fake ext.- Thanks and you have a good night!"
Though I have to say, “what in the name of Zeus’ butthole” is one of the better expressions I’ve ever heard… and it’s really satisfying to yell it out!
The fake extension is a good idea. I usually transfer annoying questions to the voice mail of someone who doesn’t work here anymore… "Sorry, yes, he’s away from his desk a lot, no, I cannot help you, no, he’s the only one who can help you… <get a life>
I had this problem with Microsoft Flight Simulator, Matrox, and HP, whosold the computer with the Matrox board installed. Apparently, no one supported it.
See, that’s the problem, threemae. What you said reminds me of the worst client. I am sure that you are right, so this is not directed at you, but what you posted just reminded me of something…
There’s nothing worse then when someone calls and says
“I can’t run this game. I’m pretty sure it’s my video card.”
Well, if you know what the problem is, why the holy hell did you call me for help?
I have troubleshot the system, and have been able to determine that it is the game that needs to be patched (which is the case 99.99999999% of the time with just about any game) and am referring you to the game vendor.
But no, you don’t want the game to work, you just want to bitch. If you patch the game, and call the vendor, they’ll get it to work, because I have insured that you video soloution is working.
And they want to argue. Damn.
