GAAAAAAAAH!
:throttles:
Not bad, not bad. Unfortunately, the picture I have of her in my head is hunched over a keyboard, fingers furiously typing, face in a scowl because someone is wrong on the internet. 
Well, the other one is me rolling my eyes. So that’s kind of close.
To everyone outside my department: my lunch hour is from 12 PM to 1 PM. If I happen to be at my desk at 12:58, and I’m kicked back in my chair reading Scientific American, it’s best that you assume I’m still enjoying my lunch break. Unless something is going to explode, fall apart, or melt down in the next two minutes, you can fucking wait.
The same applies to starting the workday - until I have my coat off, my computer started, my lunch in the fridge, and my hot drink in my hand, I’m not on the clock yet. The crisis you’re babbling to me about can wait another two minutes.
Got one!
The buttmunches in HR have their panties in a knot over I9 forms.
The have neglected to note that this is the fourth time they have demanded copies of said forms.
Fracking morons.
And have the buttmunches already received three copies of them?
Hey Boss, yeah, I understand that the r*tard on my staff made another $1000 error today, she does that a lot and she and I are working on a strategy for reducing the tard.
But unless you’re going to let me fire her and replace her with one of those half priced PhDs out there looking for a job (any job) I don’t need you to spend 20 minutes in my office reviewing your concerns.
She sucks at her job. She has always sucked at her job. We could replace her with someone better in 20 minutes and have them fully trained in an hour if only you weren’t so fearful of change.
Shut up or let me dump her ok?
Also, on a related note - when someone sends an email to a huge distribution list by mistake, please, do not “reply all” and say “Why am I getting this?”
And if, per chance, you happen to see such a reply, please do not “reply all” and say “Please remove me from this email chain.” And upon seeing such a reply, do not “reply all” and say “Me too.”
You all do realize that a company-wide distribution list has all our executives on it, right? Not sure about you, but I don’t want the VP of my business unit to think upon subesquently seeing my name, “well, that’s the right git who couldn’t figure out how to delete an email chain. Buh-bye.”
We work for a global multi-billion dollar company, people - learn to use Outlook filters. It takes like 30 seconds.
What’s the purpose of the asterisk? If it’s something other than to make you look like a dumbass, it failed.
Wait. You made an entire Pit thread for that rant *and *linked it here, too?
If there are a string of people using “Reply All” inappropriately, it is acceptable for one (1) person to Reply All and politely but firmly request that people stop Replying All with responses.
For what it’s worth, I started that thread before I saw this one - otherwise I’d have just posted it here. But since it’s workplace related, I figured it was relevant. Does that offend you or something?
Yes. Mightily. Go make me some cupcakes and there’s a slight chance–slight–that I’ll forgive you.
I find it amusing that people seem to get offended and annoyed by things like email, forms and discourteous co-workers.
If nothing your coworkers do ever bothers you, you must be (a) perpetually high, (b) inhumanly patient, or © too stupid to realize how obnoxious they are.
It doesn’t have to be “or” - they could be any mix of the three!
You’re absolutely correct; I misspoke. The options *are not *mutually exclusive.
You made a mistake. Does that mean you’re high, or stupid? 
No, not really. I mean not in an annoying, frustrating way that incites me to rant about it on an Internet message board. If more of like a bemused, rolling eyes sort of way. Then yeah, all the time! :rolleyes:
In fact, I often respond with laughter when that happens. I’m pretty sure they all hate me. Perpetually high? Never thought of that… 
Do you know how many lives have been saved by internet ranting? A lot, let me tell you.