When I was commanding a basic training company, the kids filled out a form that asked (amongst other thing) “What leadership experience do you have?” The young man wrote down,
Trained new employee at a whorehouse.
The drill sergeants were excited. Turns out he meant a warehouse.
Other neat jobs,
Naming US Navy Ships (Remarkable the poor names they come up with.)
**Designing bank notes and coins. ** (Remarkable how bad our banknotes are.)
What else?
I had a job in college at EMRTC doing numerous explosives tests, including car bombs, TOW missiles, MK84 projectiles, rockets and rocket fuel, grenades, the retrofitting of structures to withstand terrorist blasts (including parking structures and the newly designed headquarters for the ATF).
I start a new job in two weeks working on a light gas gun, where I’ll finish a project to complete my requirements for a masters of science in engineering with a specialization in explosives. Not sure what I want to do at that point, but I’m guessing it’ll be similar to my job in college.
Dave Barry once described a colleague at his newspaper who was the paper’s automotive and entertainment reporter. Which means that he gets paid for driving brand new cars and watching movies.
I knew a couple once who were employed by ASCAP and whose job was to go to night clubs, eat and drink at ASCAP expense, and make a list of all the songs the bands played so that ASCAP could check to see if they had paid the proper royalties.
But maybe even better than this is a job referred to in one of Woody Allen’s movies, it may have been Casino Royale. Woody bumps into an old friend at a bar who ask’s him where he is working these days. Woody says “I work at the strip club helping the dancers get dressed.” “How much?” “$10 an hour” says Woody. “That’s not much.” says his friend. “I know,” says Woody, “But that’s all I can afford to pay.”
The Film Commission here in BC pays people what is most likely union wages and benefits to watch porno movies and make sure there’s nothing too indecent in them. Now that’s good work if you can get it.
Maybe.
I vote for Formula One racecar driver.
I went with my girlfriend to the doctors office a while ago and being that this was a random weekday in the middle of the day it wasn’t too busy. Seated around me were various drug reps waiting hopefully that one of the doctors might accidentally wander out into the waiting room so that they could thrust huge boxes of free pills and the like at him and then invite him to Aruba to play golf on their dime.
Then it occured to me that there must be a Vicodin rep. There’s a guy out there who’s sole job responsibility is to hand out free samples of powerful opiates. That’s awesome.
Or you would become so desensitised to porn you are unable to look at it without your censor’s hat on or derive any enjoyment out of it. That would make me sad (in head and in pants).
I have been paid quite handsomely to go to the Aleutian Islands. Twice.
One time I was asked to act in a movie by the boat guests. I was paid for that as well as my crew wages.
Double dipped for going to the Aleutians.
Well, maybe you could just watch lesbian porn so it wouldn’t ruin your next viewing of Jocks and Cocks 12.
I always though it would be Eddie VanHalens guitar tuner or a whorehouse field tester. I’d be happy either way. Unless I could be Eddies tuner and groupie tester. Mmmmmm. There’s a thought.
The greatest job is the second team NFL kicker (most teams don’t have one but punter is a close runner up). You don’t have to be in any shape, you don’t have to practice, and you get paid 300k your rookie year. If you’re decent you can make a million a year showing up 16 times a year and kicking a ball 40 yards.
Firearms tester.
Sure, there’s some associated risk… but by the time you have the actual firearm in your hand the majority of the risk factors have been worked out.
Getting payed to fire new, top of the line weapons? Sounds like my kind of work.
Sports Illustrated bodypainting assistant. (Not the artist because I don’t actually have any talent.)
I’m pretty sure that’d get old pretty quick. I dig guns, but I’m tired of shooting guns after a few hours at the range. Heck, in all honesty, at my old job, after a few months, most of the tests were “just another boom”. There were a select few I still looked forward to, but I can’t imagine shooting guns all day being less mundane than it sounds.
I have a friend who was an administrator at a whorehouse and did train new employees (on the business aspects of being whorehouse employees, not the…erm…“customer interaction” aspects). She said that it was actually remarkably boring and repetitious, and was essentially an aggravating entry-level management position supervising employees who were pretty short on life skills. (“Yes, you have to show up for work”…“No, it’s not OK to do drugs while on the clock”…“Yes, you really do need to accurately report your number of clients”…that sort of thing.)
A FOAF was a tester for NetNanny, so it really was his job to download porn all day. Apparently it got really old really quick.
There are people in the Colorado Forest Service (I think that’s who) who get to go out several times a year and shoot guns at mountains until they cause an avalanche, thereby preventing a larger and potentially more lethal avalanche.
I would love that job. I’m a really good shot, and I could definitely hit a mountain.
I always have to drag myself away from the range…
There are times I leave the range aching all over… and I still want to go back for more.
This fella has the best job in the world, bar none. He’s obviously well aware of it 