World's Worst Cocktails

I was in Calais about 14 years ago and stupidly ordered, what, atleast to my 17 year old brain, sounded like a great idea for a cocktail.

The TGV:

Double measures of Tequila, Gin and Vodka in a tall glass.

It was just about the most disgusting thing I’ve ever tasted. Didn’t stop my friends ordering a second round though.

I reckon the world’s worst cocktail, should you wish to invent it here, has to have as an ingredient: Picolax. Even just thinking about it makes me feel nauseas.

As one drink enthusiast to another, I must say with all honesty: You guys scare me.

I have never had a disgusting cocktail before (never met one i didnt like? j/k), but I can make up a terrible cocktail off the top of my head though:

Sweaty Balkan Balls

2 parts Ouzo
1 part Kahlua
1 part Vodka
1 part lemonade

Put in microwave for 10 seconds and serve.

God, I feel sick just thinking about it.

[QUOTE=Aeschines]
Dude, that is so fuckin’ foul!

:o
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Can the above work as a puking smilie?!
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Way I hear it, if you down one of those, declare it good and ask if they have another barmat, the bartender will cut you off (that really was something I heard–my days of drinking nasty shit ended before I could get into bars).

[QUOTE=Starving Artist]
The Phillips Screwdriver

Vodka
Orange Juice
Phillips’ Milk of Magnesia
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How about “The Cheap Screw”?

Discount vodka + Sunny Delight (Tang would probably work too)

blue drink

Not sure what the hell this drink was but you can tell by the look on my face that it was nasty! This is my favorite picture of me. This was last year when we were in Playa Del Carmen. Mexican Fru-fru drinks should be avoided. :smiley:
3-3 1/2 weeks until we go back!

[QUOTE=2pelo honey]
Gagging over the Jag & Pink champagne…worse had to be the next day hangover???

Jag’s not one of my fav’s, but actually did have a halfway decent shooter made w/ it…called “Surfer’s on Acid”…jag, coconut rum, and pineapple juice.
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The hangover was bad, not the worst I’ve ever had.. but getting sick that night… oh, that was the worst. Frothy BLACK puke. Awful.

Junior year of college I built our 3 room dorm apartment (6 guys) a bar. We threw a bunch of parties. Towards the end of every party one of our friends would start an open call for “The Blood of Christ” (it was a Jesuit College). Pretty much it was a mix of all the leftover shit liquor we served to the people we didn’t know plus a few drops of red dye. I don’t remember anything after that.

The blue jock

6 oz blue gatorade
2 asprin
2 oz everclear

disolove asprin in gatorade, add everclear

for some reason, this seems to be either the dog that bit you, or the heir of the dog.

I cannot remember the last time i drank one of these, but according to lawyer, it was last tuesday…

regards
FML (currently waiting for bail bondsman)

[QUOTE=Crawlspace]
Junior year of college I built our 3 room dorm apartment (6 guys) a bar. We threw a bunch of parties. Towards the end of every party one of our friends would start an open call for “The Blood of Christ” (it was a Jesuit College). Pretty much it was a mix of all the leftover shit liquor we served to the people we didn’t know plus a few drops of red dye. I don’t remember anything after that.
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Ack…had a friend who did that to us several years ago, except he started throwing all of it into a big jar that the Sangria batch had been in, and I think he put some Rose’s Lime Juice in as well.
He called it “Blow Lunch Punch”…and, we drank it. :smack:

The Stuntman.

Get Tequila, lime and salt.

Throw the salt over your shoulder, squeeze the lime in your eyes, and drink the shot.

This one is always a big hit at parties.

The ever-so-PC favorite among local dives: “3 Hicks and a Spic”.

Equal parts Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, Johnny Walker Black and Cuervo Gold. Nastiest thing I’ve ever ingested, and I’ve had straight Everclear and a double Gorilla Fart.

[QUOTE=even sven]
The Stuntman.

Get Tequila, lime and salt.

Throw the salt over your shoulder, squeeze the lime in your eyes, and drink the shot.

This one is always a big hit at parties.
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There’s also the He Man (or something like that) variety.
Throw the salt
squeeze the lime in your eyes
drink the shot
punch the guy to your left in the shoulder as hard as you can
best done in a circle

[QUOTE=Roland Orzabal]
The ever-so-PC favorite among local dives: “3 Hicks and a Spic”.

Equal parts Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, Johnny Walker Black and Cuervo Gold. Nastiest thing I’ve ever ingested, and I’ve had straight Everclear and a double Gorilla Fart.
[/QUOTE]
Ummmm…do I WANNA know?

[QUOTE=Ludovic]
Ummmm…do I WANNA know?
[/QUOTE]

Hey, this is the Straight Dope after all:

But to make it worse, I thought Jägermeister would be involved..

Sure enough:

http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink1135.html

The Cement Mixer is the winner of any “worst cocktail” debate. Hands down.

[QUOTE=Ludovic]

This is the last time I’ll post this, I promise, but my standard entry for this is the Death Ray:

1 part OJ
1 part Mountain Dew
1 part Bombay Sapphire

Only recommended if you need caffiene, want to get buzzed really quick, and don’t have the fortitude to chug down straight liquor. The nastiness of the Dew and OJ combo will almost mask the strength of the drink.

On the plus side, it looks like a Death Ray: deep yellow that nearly shines through the glass. And if you serve it in a martini glass or with no alcohol it can be a 1920’s style death ray :slight_smile:
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I have to say, though, this one almost makes me cry, being such a waste of Bombay Sapphire!!! :eek:

[QUOTE=mazinger_z]
Most of these sounds downright disgusting. I was going to add anything involving Jager, but someone already beat me to it. I will volunteer any of the “Old Man” drinks, which inlcudes but is not limted to the following: american highball, harvey wallbanger, rob roy, godfather, the manhattan, rust nail, black russian, that’s all I can think about now.
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Bolding mine

A well made manhattan is the best mixed drink I know of, but to each their own. I’d say a dirty martini is the worst for me. Olive juice and dry vermouth could be the nastiest combonation in the world.

I’m not sure if this qualifies as a cocktail, per se, but my SO and I were getting bombed with some friends on Bushmill’s and somebody got tired of making Irish Coffee (or maybe just impatient, hard to tell) and shot a huge blob of whipped cream into his mouth and washed it down with a slug of whiskey. Presto, the Irish Blowjob was born! It got real ugly real fast after that…

SO used to mix white zinfandel from a box with peppermint schnapps–I made him stop that when I proved it made his dick die. The morning breath from that was pretty fuckin’ special, too.

[QUOTE=Cluricaun]
Bolding mine

A well made manhattan is the best mixed drink I know of, but to each their own. I’d say a dirty martini is the worst for me. Olive juice and dry vermouth could be the nastiest combonation in the world.
[/QUOTE]

I agree. I might be the only 23 year old in the world who loves Manhattans.

My worst cocktail was developed one night in residence in first year when all we had left was vodka and cream soda and we didn’t want to be drinking the vodka straight. That didn’t sit in my stomach for too long.

Airman Doors, I was coming in to mention the Cement Mixer.
Spung (in my neck of the woods, at least): tequila, Squirt and espresso.