Cop: “I have you doing 40 in a 25”
Me: “I was goin’ WAY faster than that! :p”
He did not appreciate it - not one bit.
A California Highway Patrolman (off duty, friend of friend) once told me that when he pulled someone over for doing 80 mph in a speed limit 70 zone (for example), he’d tell them they “must have been doing 90.” As often as not they’d instantly say “but I was only doing 80!”; he would then note on the citation that “driver admitted doing 80mph.”
.
True story:
Me: “But tell me Honey, why sis you decide that you wanted to marry me?”
Him: “I was looking through the pictures of my birthday party, and I realized I was never going to “do better” than you.”
Me: :: Quietly concluding that shallow a$$hole is a$$holish. . . and soon to be lonely. ::
Not sure this qualifies, but it’s a true story. I was in a therapy group.
The facilitator ask: What is the best way to cultivate friends?
Me: Put fresh manure on their graves.
…stunned silence…:eek:
Later when my caseworker heard about it she asked if I was serious.:rolleyes:
when’s the baby due?
I’m not pregnant.
“Mind if I smoke?”
“Care if I die?”
Actually, I think that’s a pretty awesome answer but not everyone feels that way.
Especially if it’s a rental car - I’ve had it happen to me numerous times - I show up to rent a car and they give me a car with plates from elsewhere in the country. I’ve driven in the US midwest on Connecticut plates as well as driven around Maritime Canada with a car with a Quebec plate.
Numbered link, now that the comic isn’t on the current home page. If you use the link above, you’ll get today’s comic - which may or may not be funny.