My sister’s ex-bf participated in a very poorly organised KK. Many of the participants didn’t know each other very well, and no price limit was specified. The ex got his KK two gold class movie tickets ($35 each) and received from his KK a block of chocolate.
The worst Christmas gift ever was the year it was my only Christmas gift…if you don’t count the picture of a teapot my daughter made in pre-school with a teabag stapled to it. I got, as a married woman, mother of two, as my only gift that year…a plastic tool for holding nails steady as you pound them into the wall. Looks sort of like a pair of plastic tweezers. It was a gift from my mom, who always gives strange sort of kitchen gadgety things…one year we all got lettuce knives. But the nail-holder year was the worst. My husband bought me nothing that year…nothing. Very embarassing when all my friends would ask what I got for Christmas, and I’d have to lie. Except for one friend, whom I told the truth to, after I broke down crying after she was showing me all the wonderful, thoughtful gifts her husband had bought her, and the gifts he and the kids had bought for her.
So the next year, I decided I was not going to be presentless again. I bought myself a small piece of jewelry I wanted, wrapped it up and labelled it as being from my friend Vicki, and put it conspicuously under the tree. A bit embarassing when Vicki showed up at the door on Christmas Eve with a gift for me, and my husband answered the door. More emotional still when I opened her present. She had given me a very similar piece of jewelry to the one I had bought myself, because she knew how much I had liked it, and was upset that someone else (ME!) had bought it, so she got something as close to it as possible. My own husband had no idea what kind of jewelry I would have liked, even though I had pointed it out to him when we were at the store once. But my friend, who had only shopped with me once, months before, remembered that I had admired it and wanted to get it for me. I still wear her gift, even 20 years later.
And what did my husband buy me that year? A tiny little silver-looking trinket box you can buy in any dime store for under $5. It’s not even cute or unusual. I still have it, somewhere, as a reminder. Don’t have the husband anymore, but believe me, I would hear stories about the gifts he bought his second wife. Of course, she wasn’t the type to sweetly thank him for a piece of crap gift, so of course he bought her better stuff.
My Grandmother gave my Grandfather the same wallet several years in a row. She’d wrap it up and give it to him but he already had a wallet so he just tossed it in the drawer. Next year she’d take it out wrap it again and give it to him again.
Finally he did use it and had his money in it. But that year too she took it and wrapped it (with his money inside) and gave it back to him.
She’s a wonder that one. Plastic foot long cars suitable for a 3 year old when I was 16. Paper dolls for my mother shortly after I was born.
My employer, a government agency, gives out large hams as Christmas gifts.
I live alone, and cannot consume an entire ham. On top of that, I’m Jewish. I don’t keep kosher, but still …
I can consume an entire ham by myself, if I have access to a freezer. However, I do think that your employer should take dietary and religious restrictions into account, particularly since it’s a government agency.
I got a clothes hamper too! Only, get this…I was about seven, my brother was about six, and oh, how we were looking forward to opening that big beautiful package from our loving great grandma…
As soon as we were allowed, we joyously tore off the paper together, then sat gazing upon our new clothes hamper, kind of stunned. Great Grandma said, “Now y’all won’t leave your dirty clothes on the floor anymore!” Bless her heart. 
In 7th grade, I wanted to be Jeanne Headley’s friend. Desperately. Even though she made fun of me for wearing the same outfit twice in the same week, I wanted to be in her inner circle.
Imagine my euphoria when she invited me into the gift exchange with her friends. I was beside myself. I made my mother take me to Spencer’s Gifts (what!?) where I bought the most excellent scented candle for her with the bulk of what allowance I got. I wrapped it to within an inch of its life and marked the calendar to the day of the gift exchange.
The moment arrived; we exchanged presents. I was so excited. I took it to a private place and opened it. It was a blue-spatter ceramic foot. I so kid you not. It was meant to be used as an ashtray or something. You can not imagine the embarrassement and shame I felt. It was so obviously an afterthought that it wasn’t even funny.
The upside of all this is that I became a clothes horse and a pretty sensitive person when it comes to how other people dress.
VCNJ~
I’d like to add that having a December 25th B-day means you get regifted supreme on the 26th. The two that come to mind are games (I live alone and am not into games) and gaudy jewelry (I wear two rings and one earring. Rarely gaudy). Silk scarfs are another big deal, but I can use them. And cool hats.
My family, as a rule, are pretty good about gifts. Even my MIL does okay more than half of the time. But. . .well, for one thing, she absolutely insists on getting all the women in the family the same things, and all the men in the family the same things. Hello? This does not work!! It’s the kind of thinking that, one year, resulted in me getting a skimpy pair of red bikini panties in a decorative ceramic Christmas mug. The panties were a size L, the largest they had. At that time, I would have needed at least a 3X, and wouldn’t have been caught dead wearing transparent bikini panties! Another time, she gave us all shirts. The shirt she picked out for me was cute, but it was a size 18; I was probably a size 24 at the time. I told her it was too small. She said “But the woman at the store said it would fit!” WTF?? 
It’s not like the woman at the store knew me!
Fortunately, this year, we’re traveling for Christmas, so we won’t be opening our gifts with the rest of the family. I’m hoping that, in light of this, it occurs to her that she doesn’t need to buy us the exact same things as everyone else!
When I was a kid, my grandparents on my father’s side didn’t seem to catch up with how old we were. I have two younger sisters, one 3 years younger, one six years younger. Each year, we would be given gifts suitable for a much younger child. To resolve this, my parents would take the gifts and just give one to the next younger child, so middle sister got mine, and youngest sister got hers, and the youngest present got given away. I was reprimanded as being selfish for being kinda bummed about this recurrent situation (no present for me).
My favorite bad present was part of a white elephant. Now, of course, you’re intended to get bad presents, but this gift wasn’t exactly intended. My boss (who was not exactly well-liked) received randomly some ugly soccer-themed coffee mugs. He pulled out the top one when we were doing the big opening, and everyone laughed, but it was no means the worst present.
Afterwards, the gift-giver left and several of us were hanging around still eating. He decided to look at the other mugs and reached into the box deeply. He made a strange face and pulled out … a huge handful of human hair. The entire bottom of the box was filled with human hair! A lot more hair than you’d normally see in once place… like someone swept a barber shop into the box, but all one color. He got really grossed out, and the rest of us just about died trying not to laugh too hard. Even thinking about it makes me laugh until I cry. I have no idea how that hair got there and everyone was too embarassed to ask the person who gave the gift. My plan was to get a realistic-looking wig and cut it up and just give him a box of hair this year before he got himself fired.
Hilarity also ensued when a previous manager, who was very snooty and pretentious, accidentally gave a rather interesting gift. It was a ceramic incense holder shaped to look like a nutcracker, but the smoke emitted from his bum. She explained it was a regift but looked horribly embarassed.
Oh, and a few years ago D’Mother gave me a pair of support tights for Christmas. She’d bought them for herself, but gotten the wrong size, so instead of taking them back she gave them to me…
My grandmother doesn’t see me very often and never has any idea what I might want. Hell, my own parents usually don’t know what I want. My parents will usually figure something out, but my grandmother demands a list. I think it takes the fun out of it–I tell her what I want, then she goes to buy it–no mystery. But it has to work that way otherwise she is just absolutely clueless. Last year (or the one before maybe) I didn’t even know what I wanted, so I was very slow in sending out a list. I finally did send one, in time for them to buy a lot of the things on it. But I also got a Spongebob edition Barbie, with a note on it saying, “If I don’t get a list next year, I’m going to let Grandpa doing the shopping, so watch out! -Grandma”
I’m a 19 year old male. I haven’t been into Barbies since, um, ever. It was really awkward.
My mother gave my wife a mop.
Oddly enough, it wasn’t intended as an insult. She just happened to get very excited about some newfangled type of mop, and wanted to share this excitement with my wife.
Needless to say, my wife initially took the gift as an unsubltle hint at (a) her designated role in life, as interpreted by her mother in law; and (b) her failure to successfully fill this role … Christmas was a bit tense that year.
TJdude825 I think maybe you need to make a very special list for grandma. A list of things that sound innocent…
Tell grannie to get you anything with Jenna Jameson in it.
When I was 15, one of my aunts gave me a lemon yellow chiffon negligee. It was gorgeous and see-through and totally inappropriate and really freaked out my mom. Best gift ever, Aunt Jeanne!
Yes, but does **Indygrrl[/b ] rock?
That’s a silly question. Of course we know that Indygrrl rocks.
Any clock purchased from Restoration Hardware, especially if it’s supposed to be self-setting or play big band tunes every 15 minutes. Junkity junk junk.
Two instances come to mind:
When I was young one of the only things I wanted was a race track (like a Tyco or somesuch). It’s all I talked about getting.
Christmas day comes and there it is. The big box with my name on it. Then I see the letter on it from Santa. My Mom reads it to me. “You are still a bit young for a racetrack. Maybe next year.” I open the box to find… a sleeping bag? Not even a cool Star Wars one. It had sailboats on it. WTF???
Then there was the Christmas when my younger brother and I had made our toy lists so all was good. Christmas comes and Dad has this brilliant idea that instead of any toys he would get my brother and I an aqarium?? And not even set up with fish. Just an empty tank with pump, filter, gravel, etc.
We’d have to wait days until we got some fish. And we didn’t even ask for a fish tank. Great way to spend Christmas day when your 12. Staring at an empty fish tank. Thanks Dad.
Sometimes I almost get offended by some of the gifts I get - in the way “Do you even know me at all?” Grandma just gives us kids money now because it’s so much less painful. She did get me a Beatles DVD one recent year which was awesome, but all the years of odd Aldi purchases are still fresh in my mind. And I am so sick of smelly bath and body sets! Ugh, it is the number one meaningless girl gift (unless you profess a love for them - I have dry skin and none of that smelly crap is moistuizing at all). I seem to always get stuck with them when my family plays White Elephant. I bought Mikasa wine glasses for it last year, and got some off brand smelly lotion set. That wasn’t an intentional gift, but blah just the same. Some people are truly hard to shop for, but with most it just takes a little though, I think.
I always seem to get those stupid combination type tools-that always break. You know- combination screwdriver, flashlight and umbrella-why do people buy this syuff?