“Mr Hanky the Christmas Poo” is already as bad as anything I would ever stand to watch.
Or Christmas at Ground Zero.
Climb Into Santa’s Lap and Feel the North Pole
I propose R. Lee Ermey’s Boot Camp Christmas.
Only problem is, Sam would probably love it.
Here’s the next closest thing.*
*I also linked to this over in the “Rudolph” thread.
Mesmerizing. I had to restrain myself from replying by simply parroting a line.
A Capitalist Christmas, where the Three Ghosts haunt Bob Cratchit, berating him for trying to cut into Scrooge’s profits by wanting money for Tiny Tim and Christmas dinner, and showing him how much happier and righteous he would be without such an unprofitable leech of a son. In the end, Bob renders Tiny Tim down for tallow to make Christmas candles for Scrooge, while Tiny Tim sings It’s a Capitalist Christmas.
Yyyyyyeah…But you know what’s really scary about the Star Wars Holiday (not Christmas) Special? As bad as it was, it’s not the worst special that was ever on TV in the '70s. In fact, it was fairly typical.
I can understand that SW fans were let down. Certainly, it was a crap special. But in those days, you didn’t have AICN and alt.nerd.obsessive giving you word of mouth before a show went on the air. So people didn’t have advance warning that it would not be anywhere near the level of SW, the film, but would instead be no better than other junk TV that was standard for the era.
I finally saw it a year or two ago, and I think the reports of its awfulness are actually somewhat exaggerated. Like the Grampa-watches-porn sequence. The way people went on, I thought the actress would be masturbating with a light saber, for cryin’ out loud. Instead, it was just a tight closeup of her saying, “I find you adorable,” and so forth. Not any good, but not the vortex of suck people have made it out to be.
It’s been done, more or less.
And done more than once, at that. I seem to recall an episode of The Twilight Zone that takes place a year after Scrooge’s first visit from the spirits. Scrooge has become very generous, to the point that people are taking advantage of him. So, the spirits visit again, show him that his spendthrift habits can make things worse as well (Tiny Tim grows into an ungrateful gluttonous bastard). Finally, they take Scrooge to the graveyard again. “But this is a pauper’s grave!” And so, Scrooge learns to do all things in moderation.
What I remember best from the ending is a revisiting of the scene at the end of A Christmas Carol, except this time, it goes: “Boy, do you know that goose in the window of the butcher shop in the next street?” “The one as big as me?” “NO! The one just big enough for a family of six!”
Heh. Missed that one.
Sure it was TZ? I can find any episode title here that seems to relate.
True, but they do celebrate Christmas, although it’s more of a romantic occasion. I guess this was the Justice Ministry’s was of saying “Happy holidays! You’re now fucked.”
I remember that show, and it wasn’t a Twilight Zone episode. It was from some short-lived anthology show in the mid-1980s. I think it might have been George Burns Comedy Week.
Max Torque, I think this is the episode you were thinking of.
The descriptions I can find sound vaguely correct, but damned if I don’t remember it being not in the least comical. Coulda sworn it was an episode of either the Zone or Amazing Stories.
I remember the story quite well… and you’re right, it wasn’t comical at all. It certainly was an unusual fit within this series.
If anyone wants more information on the Star Wars Holiday Special, look no further.
Yes, Virginia, there is a Web site for everything.
During World War II, Frank Capra, who was then making movies for the government as part of the Motion Picture Screen Unit, actually did film a Hitler-themed Christmas movie entitled Mein New Kampf, which was meant to be smuggled into Germany to be shown to Hitler himself in order for him to commit suicide, believing that this would demoralize the German public. One Christmas, Germany is falling apart. Hitler prays for help, and an angel shows Hitler all the miserable things that he has done to put the nation into this state. Despondent, Hitler commits suicide. After Hitler committed suicide without Capra’s help in May of 1945, Capra re-edited the film to make it a story about an angel who visits a good guy who has helped his community by stopping him from commiting suicide. Strangely enough, Capra planned on keeping the Mein New Kampf title, but executives at RKO suggested he change it to It’s A Wonderful Life.
The events and characters in this fact are ficticious. Any resemblance to actual facts, living or dead, is coincidental. Animal action in this fact was monitored by the American Humane Association. No animals were harmed in the making of this fact.
Marshall and Kim Mathers: Home for the Holidays
Pimp My Sleigh
The Toby Keith Christmas Special: Live from Gitmo!
Ron Jeremy’s New Year’s @#$&@ Eve