Who can forget “In the Army Now” with Pauly Shore?
Haha, I made you remember!
“War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left.”
Well, I’m about to show the world what an old lady I am, but it’s really been a long time since I’ve watched many movies, and since I don’t see very many any more, I’m more careful about which ones they are.
I have to vote for “Walking Tall” (any movie with a hero named Buford Pusser has to be a problem)and "The Groove Tube. These are the only movies I have ever walked out on. And what makes it worse is that they made at least one sequel to “Walking Tall”. Of course, it didn’t have the same actor starring. I can only think the original guy had more sense than to come back.
Oh, and we have to include “Star Trek, the Movie”. Almost no plot, and no explanation of what tthere was. Really stupid ending, too.
“Pacific Heights” with Michael Keaton and Melanie Griffith - Who told Melanie Griffith she could act?
“The Iron Mask” - Was I suffering from altitude sickness or was this movie just incredibly bad? (I saw it on a plane.)
“Eyes Wide Shut” - nudity and eroticism are NOT the same thing.
“Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” - Yikes.
“Armageddon” - What has more holes: The plot of this movie or the Albert Hall?
A movie with Kate Capshaw (as a bereaved mother whose daughter was murdered), Aidan Quinn (the father) and Robert Downing, Jr. (as a psychopath) that came out last year. We got free tickets, thank god. The audience was LAUGHING when we were supposed to be gasping. I forgot the name of the movie, though.
Wow, after all these posts I can still add a new one. Brace yourselves.
MEET JOE BLACK
Although I will also second a lot of the movies already mentioned. Especially The Bodyguard.
Coldfire
“You know how complex women are”
- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)
The bashing of Titanic is merely a criticism of its massive popularity and high price tag, based more on snobbery than what was on the screen. It wasn’t a great movie, but it was fine old-fashioned entertainment (even though, at heart, it was basically a Mary Sue story).
This is a fairly typical phenomenon. A film becomes massively popular and some people go to them expecting that it has to be the best movie ever in order to justify the popularity. If it’s merely OK, they get disappointed and start condemning it (some go into it assuming it’s going to be bad and nothing will change their mind). The same trend is apparent with hits like PULP FICTION and BLAIR WITCH.
“East is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.” – Marx
Read “Sundials” in the new issue of Aboriginal Science Fiction. www.sff.net/people/rothman
*PunditLisa: A movie with Kate Capshaw (as a bereaved mother whose daughter was murdered), Aidan Quinn (the father) and Robert Downing, Jr. (as a psychopath) that came out last year. We got free tickets, thank god. The audience was LAUGHING when we were supposed to be gasping. I forgot the name of the movie, though. *
“In Dreams”
Let the Truth of Love be lighted/ Let the Love of Truth shine clear. Sensibility/ Armed with sense and liberty
With the Heart and Mind united in a single/ Perfect/ Sphere. - Rush
Amazing this scene was cut from the US theatrical release, without it you’re like…and this Rachel is? Americans finally got the director’s cut, 10 years later, that included the missing scenes.
After all these posts, I can’t believe no one has mentioned the unbelievably stupid film, Billy Jack or last year’s pointless remake of The Haunting of Hill House, The Haunting. What a waste of film. BTW has Liam Neeson EVER done a good movie?
Ace Ventura (the sequel) deserves a mention here–we rented that movie and my daughter asked to turn the thing off after only 10 minutes!
Stoidela:
Yeah, I get the same reaction everytime I mention my opinion of Amadeus. In fact, I’ve created a term for when I have a negative opinion of an overhyped film that under normal circumstances I would have enjoyed. I call it Amadeus Syndrome.
Some examples:
- Titanic
- Dick Tracy
- St. Elmo’s Fire
Maybe I shouldn’t have deemed Amadeus a “bad movie”. Rather, it turned out to be one that didn’t live up to my expectations - a living example of the phenomenon RealityChuck described:
I almost forgot about Bio Dome with Pauly Shore. I was still working at Biosphere 2 when it came out and a bunch of us from there went to see it together. We were the only people in the audience laughing and this waste of film. It was so full of inside jokes we decided there was probably a spy and tried to figure out who is must have been.
“Popeye? Hm? He’s not much of a judge of women!” King Blozo
RealityChuck is right on the money. I rented “Leaving Las Vegas,” and “Sling Blade” after hearing all the hype, and news of their Oscar achievements. I was ready to be blown away by these two movies. In reality, I was extremely disapointed, and would never reccomend those films to anyone.
I was in the video store a while back, and glanced at the shelf to see a movie titled “Amadeus.” I had never heard of it before, and read the back of the box. Took it home, watched it, and absolutely loved it.
My advice is to skip the reviews, and watch movies with no expectations, no preconceived notions. You may find that it’s easier to enjoy the movie, instead of analyzing it.
Adam
“Life is hard…but God is good”
ARG220, if you liked Amadeus, try Immortal Beloved - it’s Gary Oldman as Beethoven. There’s another really good one about Chopin too, but I can’t remember the name off the top of my head.
I’m kind of surprised no one has mentioned Exit to Eden. Dan Akroyd and Rosie O’Donnell in bondage gear.
Yuck.
<ducking> The Blair Witch Project, period.
Talk about over-hyped. I suffered through this pathetic attempt at entertainment as others in the theater got up and walked out. I stayed with the slim hope that it would somehow get better. No such luck.
Well, since nobody’s mentioned it yet, and it’s literally the only movie I can remember insisting on walking out on: “200 Motels”. And I’ve literally forgotten (thankfully) more movies than I can recall. Any Batman movie after the first, and even it was redeemed only by Jack Nicholson’s presence.
I loved “Pulp Fiction”, but was disgusted by “From Dusk 'Til Dawn”. “Hudson Hawk” should have put paid to Willis’ career. “Waterworld” – when the hell will Hollywood movie producers learn that, for a science fiction movie to be successful, it needs to be made and written by people who understand science fiction’s appeal to the intellect, not the viscera?
Way back there, someone said of Plan 9 From Outer Space:
this explanation has several inaccuracies in it. First of all, Lugosi died before production of the movie ever began. Wood used some footage he’d shot of Lugosi earlier. And the character didn’t disappear. He died very early in the film and became one of the zombies. The zombie was played by the chiropractor of one of the cast, who had a nose much like Lugosi’s but otherwise didn’t resemble him very much (for example, he was several inches taller). Wood compensated for these problems by having the chiropractor skulk around holding the cape up to his face, Dracula-style.
Live a Lush Life
Da Chef
Batman: God what an unintentially funny movie, we laughed whenever Michael Keaton had that sooo serious I’m trying to crap look on his face.
To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everyting, Julie Newmar. Rule #1 don’t rent any movie recommended by Oprah. A truly bad drag queen movie featuring Patrick Swayze. My sister, brother-in-law and I agreed we were only watching to the end because we hated to feel like we wasted our money watching it.
Joey, which had something to do with a kangaroo and Ed Begley JR and every other detail has been purged from my memory.
You want brilliance BEFORE I’ve had my coffee!!!
Haha! You have forgotten the worst early-80’s movie of record! I speak of none other than:
MEGAFORCE!!!
Bunch of feather-haired, spandex-wearing, poofy commandos and their motorcycles. Barry Bostwick, trying to overcome his ‘Brad’ role from RHPS. The guys from Cheap Trick said they were approached to write a title song, but were too amused by the title to come up with anything. Very, very, bad.
Quote:
[Barry Bostwick] “If there is one thing I’ve learned in my years as a soldier, it’s that life is like a wheel. It goes <dramatic pause> around…”
From Hell’s heart, I stab at thee-
I’ve said this in past bad movie threads, but probably the worst movie I’ve actually paid to see was Escape from L.A. It was my husband’s idea because he loved Escape from New York so much, and even he hated it. My husband keeps trying to convince me to watch Escape from New York, but I’ve decided we just have very different taste in movies.
Other movies my husband likes that he has gotten me to watch but that I thought were bad include:
Killer Klowns from Outer Space (he claims it’s supposed to be bad and that’s why it’s funny, but I thought it was just bad, not funny)
Army of Darkness (I really don’t see why anyone likes this movie. The one-liners were lame, Bruce Campbell–whom I normally wouldn’t throw out of bed for eating crackers–played a completely unlikeable “hero,” and the whole movie just had an air of obnoxiousness about it)
Big Trouble in Little China (Cheesy special effects, silly story, and I’ve decided I’m just not a Kurt Russell fan)
Movies that I chose to watch that turned out regrettably bad are few and far between because I have such discriminating taste 
But I’ll own up to picking out Things to do in Denver When You’re Dead (a Pulp Fiction copycat), Funny Farm (Chevy Chase, aiyiyi, what was I thinking!), and The Rock (loud, dumb, and offensive. Bleah!).
“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy
I agree with most of the previous picks, except “The Sting” evaluation. It is one of the best movies ever made, with one of the best casts of all time. Period.
I also liked “Pulp Fiction”, but I also like most B action movies (like those starring Van Damme, Seagel, et al), so you may not think I have such great taste in movies. I really liked “Armageddon”, because, I will admit, I am a huge Bruce Willis fan. duck
I guess the one movie that sticks out in my mind that I wish I had not watched was “Seven”. It was SOOOO gross and disgusting that by the last scene, I was totally turned off the whole movie (and I saw “Crash” too). The absolute WORST movie I ever saw. (But Kevin Spacey was marvelous as ususal).