My personal least favorite The Return of Jafar watched it barely once. But I was young and ignorant. sigh, waste of dough.
I mean come on people! What about the whole Police Academy debacle? The first one was a funny, relatively innocuos Steve Guttenberg vehicle that merits a 5.5/10 on the IMDB scale. Not bad for Guttenberg, if you think about it. It was a relative success at the box office, which gave someone the idea for a sequel.
Of course the sequel stank. Guttenberg and crew return, but hey, I suppose they made their money back at the box office. IMDB scale of 4/10. A true stinker.
Somebody, somewhere got the bright idea to make it a trilogy. Guess they could get Guttenberg back as St. Elsewhere was now off of the air. Now we have reached the level of crap fest. 3.5/10. The slide continues. And a fourth. Guttenberg is now well off of his prime and movies like Police Academy 4 are only causing his downhill slide to turn into a Wile E. Coyote-esque plunge off of the cliff. 3.1/10.
Now maybe the studio execs were doing bad mescaline that week, but somebody actually funded two more installments of this shitbag. Somebody approved this even though they couldn’t get Guttenberg back. So, Bubba Smith gets top billing for the untold horrors of Police Academies 5 and 6. I think if a reel of either of these movies were to be stored too close to, let’s say Citizen Kane or hey even Showgirls, they would mutually obliterate themselves in a blinding release of energy. IMDB ratings of dismally low 2.6/10 and 2.5/10. It is worth mentioning that they couldn’t even get Bobcat Goldwaithe back for number 6.
Don’t even get me started on the 4 part Revenge of the Nerds saga. I was extremely bored at Revenge of the Nerds 4 was on Comedy Central this weekend. I honestly tried to watch part, but blood kept pouring out of all of my orifices as the acting liquified my viscera. This was a direct-to-video or TV affair though, so the pain is somewhat mitigated. But still…what kind of mental disorders do you have to have in order to think that the star power of Lewis, Booger, and Lamar are going to be enough to carry a movie? Why even try?
wow edwino an exceptional post of which I whole heartedly agree. And as for all films that end up under …, well let’s say 4, on the IMDB there are a pack of jokers who give these movies perfect 10s. To quote IMDB “The trouble with the global village are all the global village idiots. - Paul Ginsparg.” So for PA6 5.7% gave it a 10, about 5 times more then people who gave it a 9. So they’re all worse then their score may reveal. For Manos, the Hands of Fate 10% gave it 10 while 81.5% gave it 1.
I’d also like to nominate Weekend at Bernie’s 2 whuhuh?!?!
Blues Brothers 2000 without a doubt. Loved the original. The sequel was just a rehash of the first movie, at parts almost scene-for-scene the same plotwise. Heck, I think Aretha Franklin even does “Respect” again in the sequel. Take that, subtract John Belushi, and at some freakin’ cute kid with a harmonica, and you get a movie that defines suckage, and most likely will be torturing you as an in-flight movie. (Do I just pick the wrong airlines, or do all in-flight movies SUCK?! Last flight I had I had to sit through another one of those frickin’ lovable police dog and his human-partner-against-crime movies. How do these freaks get funding to produce this crap? Haven’t they exhausted the police-dog genre yet? Is there really a DEMAND for these movies? Sorry…just venting.)
Personally I find parts of Temple of Doom particularly silly – anything to do with the snakes. Look closely. Those are somebody’s pet boa constrictors and pythons he’s freaking out about. I have a healthy respect for snakes, but those are about as harmless as you’re going to get. I used to have a pet boa, and they’re interesting animals.
As for the rest of it…ewww.
My choice for the honor of worst sequel, as well as a strong contender for the most stupid title, goes to:
Return of the Living Dead, Part II
The imbecility of that title is surpassed only by
Return of the Living Dead, Part III,
but I never saw that one.
(Another candidate for stupid title is **The Neverending Story Part II . That sounds like buying a second “bottomless” cup of coffee for yourself.)
** RotLD was a clever film, written and directed by Dan O’Bannon (who has wanted to direct ever since he was at film school with Carpenter), but RotLD2 really is a mind-bogglingly dumb film that frankly admits its creative bankruptcy (“I feel like I’ve been through this before,” says one returning actor to another.)
Caddyshack II
I have to go with Highlander 2, also. The Highlander timelines are so screwed up. They allow too many people to play with the storylines. It’s like trying to explain the X-men to someone. I mean, think about this for a minute.
If Duncan MacLeod supposedly kills Connor in 3, and had gone thru centuries having all sorts of adventures with Connor, and was therefore alive at the time Connor got the prize in 1, how the $#(&^@#( did Connor get the prize, assuming “there can be only one”? And don’t get me started on that other-planet crap. GAH. 2 and 3 need to be burned. Every. Last. Copy.
Original quotes:
------------------------------------------------------------STOP SAYING IT! STOP SAYING THAT NAME!!!
It never happened, okay? There was no sequel to Highlander. How could there have been? I mean, the original movie clearly stated that “there could be only one”, so what on earth could the sequel have been about? What, some stupid story about all the immortals actually being aliens from Zeist where they still had earth names though and then fighting to remove MacLeod’s stupid anti-ultraviolet shield from earth’s skies so everybody can see the stars again I DON’T THINK SO.
:twitch twitch:
Never ^$$£%" happened. That’s an end on it.
She didn’t do “Respect” in the original Blues Brothers. She did “Think.”
That’s because Highlander 3 is based off the TV show which assumes that Highlander 1 & 2 never happened.
It’s best not to think about it too hard. You’ll only upset yourself.
How about “I Still Know What You Did Last Summer” which, technically, should have been “I Still Know What You Did the Summer Before Last.”
Regardless of what genre it was supposed to be, IMHO, it still sucked.
Still haven’t seen The Matrix.
Highlander: Endgame (4) is the one based on the TV show. 3 was the one with Mario Van Peebles as Kane that ignores 2 but tries to retcon itself with 1. (BTW, if you want to see someone tear 2 to shreds (figuratively, at least), check this out.)
It gets even worse. They actually made a seventh movie, Police Academy: Mission to Moscow, which has a miserable 1.9/10 rating, putting it solidly on the 100 worst films list at #43 (tied with 13 other films). It didn’t even have Bubba Smith, instead giving top billing to George Gaynes.
According to the special edition dvd, not counting the queen alien, they only built 6 alien costumes, all less detailed than the original constume (Cameron planned to show them only briefly, in flashes, so the tiny details wouldn’t be seen anyway) to keep the budget low and manageable. Shot bunched together in tight spaces from different angles, those 6 costumes looked like a colony full of them.
My vote for worst sequel though:
Halloween 2.
Most horror movie sequels should make list, IMO.
The original The Crow movie was a brilliant, triumphant, dark, and tragic epic of love and revenge of the most personal kind. Unfortunately, the star, Brandon Lee lost his life during filming. It should have been left - alone and pure - as a tribute to his memory.
However, this film was defiled by the sequel Crow - City of Angels. A despicable film which captured absolutely no emotion except for disgust. My vote for worst sequel.
My first choices have already been mentioned, so I’d like to cast a vote for the First Blood sequels. Like Rocky, the original movie was a pretty good piece of work that was then humped to death by a string of idiotic uber-patriot sequels. If Stallone had only had enough sense to know when to leave well enough alone, he might have built up a reputation as a serious actor, rather than as a mumbling meat slab.
–sublight.
I actually know one of the guys that helped build the Alien Queen. And he also designed those large Smart Guns… you know, the ones that had a harness around your hip? Those things were awesome.
Smokey and the Bandit III
No Burt Reynolds, but a lot of Jackie Gleason. Definitely to be missed.
Lockfist, you are so completely right. I was heartbroken about City Of Angels. Did that not screw up James O’Barr’s original idea to the point of putrefaction?
I haven’t even SEEN the new Crow movies. I’m not a fan of “dark” movies, but the original Crow struck a chord in me and I adored it. (The comic’s even better!) I refuse to continue bashing the memory of the original movie and comic by watching any of the subsequent crap after they ruined it with the 2nd one.
About the lastest Highlander movie: it can’t all be based on the TV show…there’s a ton of stuff from Connor’s past in 1 in it. (Heather, etc). But then you’re right, Protesilaus. If I think about it too much I will only upset myself. Thanks for the link - I feel better now. 
When will Hollywood learn to leave well enough alone? Some movies should never have a sequel. Never, never, never.