WRQX (DC) ran a quick poll as to the worst song “of the millennium”. Strangely, only songs from the last 40 years were nominated. (Personally, I thought the musical version of “Beowulf” sucked eggs. :))
I’ll narrow it down to “worst song of the Rock Era”. What’s your nomination?
My nomination: “Feelings”
John Denver: “My Sweet Lady”
Elton John: “I Feel Like a Bullet in the Gun of Robert Ford”
Elton John: “Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word”
Paul McCartney and Wings: “Silly Love Songs”
Paul McCartney: “Waterfalls”
Lionel Ritchie: everything
Christopher Cross: “Arthur’s Theme”
Christopher Cross: “I Think of Laura”
Oh, well, that’s a start.
MacArther Park
Someone left the cake out in the rain
And I don’t think that I can take it
Because it took so long to bake it
And I’ll never get the recipe agaaaaain…
whoawhoawhoaoaoaoooooaaaaaaaaa!!!
The most pathetic metaphor for lost love that’s ever been conceived. And it’s sung with such sincere intensity…excuse me, I need to go vomit now.
I Write The Songs.
Anything by Tiffany or Debbie Gibson.
“The Girl is Mine,” Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney. “I think I told you Paul, I’m a lover, not a fighter.”
Pardon me while I go throw up now…
“There is no worse lie than a truth misunderstood by those who hear it.” - William James
“You Light Up My Life” by Debby Boone. I cringe just typing about this horrible song, much less listening to it.
“Precious and Few” by I-can’t-remember-who. The first line goes something like “precious and few are the moments we two can share”.
You know what I’m talking about…
[ul][li]You take my breath away (Rex Smith)…ack![/li][li]All by Myself (Eric Carmen)[/li][li]Without you (Harry Nilsson)[/li][li]Achy-breaky heart :::shudder:::[/ul][/li]
Do you see a trend here? If you’re unhappy in love, don’t come running to me for sympathy! 
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge…others just gargle.
Ain’t No Sunshine When She’s Gone – I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know (sound of turntable arm being SCCRRRAAAPPPPEEEEEEDDDD across the record) Jezuz Fuckin’ Christ Shaddup already!
Seasons In The Sun
Muskrat Love
Brand New Key
Mandy
and any disco song ever recorded.
Anything by Leo Sayer just makes me want to gouge out my eyes with a shrimp fork.
And a long time ago, there was a song that went something like:
Red, white, and blue, i-ooh i-ooh i-ooh
That was awful.
The song that they used to kill the martians in Mars Attacks was pretty bad, too. I remember my Dad singing that (horribly, as a joke to drive my Mom insane) when I was a little kid… “when I’m calling yoooo oooo oooo oooo oooouu…” aaauughh!
Meg
Anyone remember Nelson? If not, consider yourself lucky.
“hot blooded”, by Foreigner.
Quand les talons claquent, l’esprit se vide.
Maréchal Lyautey
Oh ICK Drain!!! Damn you! Now I have “Love & Affection” going through my head…ARGH! Someone put me out of my misery…
“There is no worse lie than a truth misunderstood by those who hear it.” - William James
::Straining to hold Arrow back::
Moosie -
Nilsson did the best version of ‘Without You’ which was written by Ham/Evans. And he made up for it with ’ You’re breaking my heart ’
A point in every direction is like no point at all
Although its fairly recent, I think Aqua’s “Barbie Girl” wins.
As a close second is the 70’s song that goes:
She went and took me by the hand
We made love in my…Chevy van
and that’s alright by me
I don’t know what the title or artist is and I refuse to research this to find out.
Songs, like pretty much everything else, follow Sturgeon’s Law: 90% of them are crap. So in order to qualify, it should be a requirement that the song was actually popular at one time. It should also be limited so that you don’t get to count stuff like “Mr. Tambourine Man, as sung by William Shatner”, which isn’t a widely-known version.
Here are my nominees for the “bottom 100” list:
Eve of Destruction
Seasons in the Sun
You Light Up My Life
Through the Eyes of Love
Feelings
Shout (almost entirely because of the 15 minute section that goes “Shout! A little bit softer now…” ad nauseam)
That song where that goes “Lohuhuving yoohoo… OOOOOoooo ooo ooo oo oo oooo” with the “OOOO” part being that glass-shattering pitch from the Memorex commercials
I’m trying NOT to include songs that I hate mostly because of ubiquity, like “My Heart Will Go On” which wouldn’t have been so bad if it hadn’t been run into the ground deeper than the eponymous ship from That Movie.
How quickly they forget:
“The Ballad of the Green Beret”
(almost as bad as the movie)
JB
Lex Non Favet Delicatorum Votis
Hah. You guys are whimps. I can top you all. Brace yourselves:
“Honey” by Bobby Goldsborrough. (sp? but what the hell)
“See the tree, how big it’s grown…”
Coldfire
“You know how complex women are”
“Wildfire” . ("and they call her Wiiiiillldddfiiiire, they call her Wiiiillldddffiiire, they call her WIIIIldIIlldffiiIIIIIiIIIIERRRR.) Columnist Dave Barry took a poll years ago, I sent in my nomination and he printed it in his column.
The Beach Boys- When I Grow Up To Be a Man
I can’t stand The Beach Boys at all, but this is them at their rankest. If they get any worse than this, I have purged it from my memory. California Girls runs a very close second.
“That’s entertainment!” —Vlad the Impaler