It’s a small world after all
It’s a small world after all
It’s a small world after all
It’s a small, small world.
You obviously haven’t heard his latest I am the Greatest or you would’ve listed it, too.
My choices:
-
The Big D
(selected lyrics: “Things like this are never final/I’m still paying on the vinyl/flooring in the laundryroom/It’s multi-colored…waterproof.”)
Runner-ups (in no particular order)
Third-rate Romance
How Will I Live Without You aka the Co-Dependent Song
I Will Always Love You as sung by Vince Gill and Dolly Parton
Blue Leeanne Rimes (This could be caused by hearing it approximately 947 times the week it came out.)
Your Official Cat Goddess since 10/20/99.
“I get along well with everybody.” --I.M.F.
Wooly Bully, Sam the Sham and the Pharoahs.
It must be stated for the record that though John Lennon/Paul McCartney were brilliant together, each and every one of the Beatles are the worst songwriters in history when left unsupervised with a loaded pen.
“Did you ever wake up,
Bullfrogs on your–
Bullfrogs on your–
I mean mind?
Did you ever wake up with bullfrogs on your mind?
That’s a sure sign you got bullfrogs on your mind.”
– Wm Harris
Orange cake
You know when that f*ing song came out you loved just like everyone else.
Rollin in my 5.0
with my rag top down so my hair can blow …
I think a distinction has to be made between songs one simply doesn’t like and those which are just poorly written.
Example of a poorly written songs:
“Billy Joe[?] was a detective down in Texas
He always knew just what the facts is.”
“What if God were one of us…
Trying to find his way home
Like the Pope, maybe, in Rome.”
I get worked up just thinking about those crappy lyrics
Anything by Shania Twain
Anything by Bread. Although “The Diary” deserves special recognition in this category.
I found a diary underneath the tree.
And started reading about me…
I think he reads all this nice stuff about him and then at the end realizes that the girl was writing about someone else all along. Serves him right for reading someone else’s personal stuff. That sound just annoys me!!
These are all awesome nominations. You’ve brought back so many bad memories, I don’t know whether I should thank you for the trip or just plain trip you.
In spite of how horrid all of the above are, either none of you has heard, or you’ve blocked from memory, Neil Diamond’s “Porcupine Pie”.
Porcupine pie, porcupine pie, por-cu-pine pie,
Vanilla soup,
Another scoop please…
Talk about stoopid!
Or how about “Up, Up, and Away”. So glad it was a beautiful balloon or I might not have wanted to fly with them - sheesh.
And maybe it’s not the worst song ever - I do have fond memories of my mother singing it to me as a little girl - but “Three Little Fishies” wasn’t so hot either.
Three little fishies in an itty bitty pool.
Mamma fish and Pappa fish and baby fishie too.
Swim, swim, swim if you can,
But don’t you dare swim over that dam.
Doop doop diddum daddum waddum chew.
Doop doop diddum daddum waddum chew.
Swim, swim, swim if you can,
But don’t you dare swim over that dam.
And while we’re at it, may I also nominate “One-eyed, One-horned, Flying Purple People Eater”?
“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.” – Lily Tomlin
Erik, thanks for mentioning one of my favorite emetics, “Take the Money and Run”…
but let’s complete the “rhyming” lines:
Billy Joe was a detective down in Texas
He always knows exactly what the facts is
He ain’t gonna let those two escape justice
He makes his living off other people’s taxes
Actually, it’s pretty damn funny if you stop between heaves to think about it.
I heartily recommend Dave Barry’s Book Of Bad Songs, as mentioned above.
Oh, and lest we forget…
- “I am!” I cried, to no one there.
And no one heard at all, not even the chair.*
Now I think I’ll go shout at a chair and then shoot myself.
PurpleCrackwhore and I don’t care…
I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature!
Kum-By-ya
I’ve been waiting - Foreigner
Achey breaky heart
I will always love you
You don’t bring me flowers - ugh
It’s raining men
Cherish
Oh, I thought of another one.
Horse With No Name
Fav line: In the desert you can remember your name, cuz there ain’t no one for to give you no pain, la la la la la la la la
Ok, he can remember his own name, but he won’t give his poor horse a name??? Jerk!
“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.” – Lily Tomlin
Songs that should be relegated to the trash bin include:
“Copa Cabana”: Too bad only one person got shot at the end.
“Muskrat Love”: Call Terminex!
“Feelings”: Except the version done by Carol Burnett as Eunice.
“I Love the Night Life/I Want to Boogie.” In fact, just toss in * any * song with the word “Boogie” in it.
“The Living Years”: Gawd, can we get any more maudlin?
“Wildfire”: Stupid horse deserves to die.
“Afternoon Delight”: “Aaaaaaaaa-aaaaaa-aaaaa-aaaaFTERnoon Delight!”
–How about “The Pina Colada Song”, or, as we renamed it on a long road trip to Oregon w/nothing but an AM radio “The Penis Colossus Song”?
–Alan Q
Re: Horse With No Name…as Dave said, “You’re in the desert, riding for days. You got nobody to talk to, nothing to do. Name the damn horse!”
Side note: bands with places as names. Did you ever notice that bands named after places tend to be really lame?
America
Chicago
Boston
Kansas
Alabama
Styx
Nazareth
these count on a geographical tangent:
Journey
Foreigner
.
.
.
and, finally, my vote for all-time most overrated band:
** The Eagles**
…just had to throw that in for general principles. Hate 'em. Everybody I grew up with loved 'em. Yuck.
Chicago’s original name was Chicag Transit Authority…not really named after the city…
just a bit of trivia…
my least favorite is any of the “bubblegum” music of the 60’s…and disco of course.
Musical Youth’s version was a cover. The original was called Pass The Cutchie (sp?), a Cutchie being, apparently, a Jamaican bong. Since the kids were so young they changed the title. I have no idea what a Dutchie is, if anything.
As for me, I never, ever, ever, ever, EVER want to hear Hotel California again for as long as I live.
Thanks for mentioning The Eagles. I withdraw my previous nomination, and replace it with:
Take it to the limit,
Take it to the limit,
Take it to the limit,
One more tiiiiiIIIIIIME!!
Take it to the limit, pleee-EEEZE!
Take it to the limit
(etc, ad nauseam).
If ever there was a song that lived up to its title, that would be the one.
“That’s entertainment!” —Vlad the Impaler
OK, you asked for it—
Duh-duh Duh-duh-DUH-duhhhn
Duh-duh Duh-duh-DUH-duhhhn
MY SHARONA!