TennHippie posted
Ok, to what address to I send the cleaning bill for my now pee-soaked chair? I really must get in the habit of wearing my Depends when reading this board. Y’all are too much!
Back to the OP, here are some more entries:
Da Doo Ron Ron
Puppy Love
She’s Havin’ My Baby
I’m Not Lisa (At least I think that’s the correct title. All I know is that I hated that stoopid, whiney song.)
“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.” – Lily Tomlin
Actually, this goes: “No one calls him on the phone/except the Pope maybe, in Rome.” And I like that song.
What’s REALLY bad is Good Morning Starshine. The very mention of this song can make my dad go off into a ten-minute fit of "biddy bop doobie, laddy daddy do da"s.
And how could we forget Believe, Cher’s newest classic? I’ll resist going into my spiel on how much I hate Britney Spears and Ricky Martin, though. My friend and I went shopping and she picked up the goddamn Ricky Martin CD, and when I made immature puking noises, she said, defensively, “He’s eye candy!” And I was going, “You can’t SEE him when you’re listening to the CD! You can only hear the shitty music!”
~Kyla
“You couldn’t fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.”
RE: Pass The Dutchie.
As your resident Dutchman, I feel obliged to enlighten you. From what I understand (not being much of a reggae fan), a Dutchie is supposed to be a joint. Grass. Pot. Ya know, Dutchie, 'cuz all Dutchmen smoke it 
Coldfire
“You know how complex women are”
I have to agree Catrandom.
John Lennon is one of my idols, but Imagine is probably the worst piece of music he ever wrote.
Other choice songs :
That chicken dance that everyone thinks is funny at weddings
Anything sung by Miss Dion
Anything by Boyzone (my flatmate is besotted with them)
Don’t be dissing the Eagles now. Don Henley is on my laminated list! Though, for the record, I wish someone would let Joe Walsh know that he should limit his singing to the shower…
BTW, I thought of another recent song to add to the list. “So Kiss Me.” There’s a part that goes, “swing, swing” and it makes me want to vomit.
Coldfire: With all due respect I think Dutch slang and Jamaican slang might differ in a few respects 
Actually I didn’t think anyone would really care, but I went and did a web search on the subject anyway, and here’s what I found:
From the Guinness Who’s Who Of Reggae, 1994, apparently.
Well, there’s a lot of songs I hate, but I don’t know the names of many of them. I just know the words as I heard them. One of them is “Blue Bayou” (I learned the name to this one pretty recently so it still counts); every horrible event in my childhood seems to have this song as its soundtrack.
Another one has an unknown name, and misheard lyrics, but I’ll give it a shot:
So if you know the real lyrics, or the name of that one, please keep it to yourself for I feel [Cthulhoid rant] that it is something that I can not and must not remember, something coated with rime and nitre, a nameless and tortured music from a place on the other side of the unseen radio which lurked in that strange house, and that lurks in the back of my acursed memory, forever.
The creatures known as Bee Gees are from a nearby place on the other side of the unseen radio, their voices piping in an insane parody of the black man. The manes and pseudopods of the Bee Gees flail blindly at the walls of the cage they have built, to trap and torment mankind for a few centuries before devouring us all in an orgy of mocking dance beats. And now, I must forget, or I shall lose my mind forever. How I curse the day I didn’t run out of the house at the first maddening strains of Saturday Night Fever, and every day thereafter.[/Cthulhoid rant]
Has anyone mentioned this one??
“I’ve Never Been to Me” by Sharlene from 1982.
Oh the humanity!
Oh god, and that horrible spoken word part in the middle of the song!! I wish I could quote it, but I’ve trained my brain to only remember the title of the song. Hearing it would bring back the stabbing pains in my head!
And that’s just my opinion. I could be wrong.
That group America had two stinkers: Horse With No Name and Ventura Highway. (Where the days are longer, the nights are stonger that mooooonshine.) And where in hell did the “alligator lizards in the air” bullshit come from? Not to mention, “Sorry boys, but I’ve been hit by purple rain.”
How utterly insipid.
By the way, I believe that “Get Over It” by the Eagles should be the national anthem. "A victim of this, a victim of that, your daddy’s too thin and your momma’s too fat…get over it!
The song that makes my skin crawl: Heart’s “All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You”.
A story song about a woman whose husband (partner? boyfriend?) is sterile, so she picks up a some young stud on the side of the road, takes him to a motel where they screw all night, her only purpose being to get pregnant. She disappears in the morning, leaving only a note stating:
I am the flower
You are the seed
We walked in the garden
We planted a tree
Don’t try to find me,
Please don’t you dare
Just live in my memory,
You’ll always be there
It makes me gag just to type those words. Blech!
And I forgot to mention the current song that annoys me most is that crappy “Mambo No. 5”.
My best friend and I have this game we play where we subsitute the word “Beavis” in a song to create new lyrics. Example from Mambo No. 5: “I gotta Little Beavis in my pants!”
OK. So it probably doesn’t sound that funny to you, but it makes us laugh!
Dewaholic - thank you for bringing up “Never Been to Me”! That is truly one of the stupidest songs ever recorded. I actually heard it a few weeks ago in the grocery store when I was shopping. I stood there in disbelief - this song is in rotation!
All I can say is that if this chick has “been to paradise, but never been to me”, then I suggest some therapy, stat.
I’ve always wondered about the line “I’ve seen things a woman ain’t supposed to see”. What the hell is that all about?
Kepi - I’m so glad that I’m not the only one creeped out by “All I Want to Do is Make Love to You”. One of my best friends loved that song until I pointed out to her what the lyrics were actually saying. I can’t believe that song is condoning picking up a hitchhiker and taking him to a hotel to have sex all night long, to get pregnant. Creepy.
Sorry, but I stand by my trashing of The Eagles. I would let it go, but I can’t. I grew up listening to that crap and being the only one in my age group who didn’t like it. A hint of disrespect toward that accursed band led to verbal abuse, ostracism, and possible physical violence. Now that I can say what I want, I will:
Musically, they were mediocre at best.
The vocals always sounded like fingernails on a chalkboard.
Lyrically, they were insipid.
And worst of all: the hype, the aura.
I don’t mind hype over a great band. I don’t mind an aura surrounding a talented or unique band. I don’t even mind crappy bands. But when crappy bands are inexplicably worshipped…well, I just don’t get it. And when my own friends are swept up in the hysteria and willingly line up to drink the Kool Aid…well, it just sickens me.
so take it eeeeeeeeeeeeeaasy…
i never been to me!!!
arrrgh!
thank you very much people…i thought i had effectively blocked that from my memory
oh no, it’s in my head…it won’t go away
please someone kill me