Thank God, no. Even when I was a kid, I though the concept was lame.
You forgot The Elongated Man. Stretching powers were quite popular. What is interesting that two of the four heroes with that power were married (Elongated Man and eventually Mr. Fantastic). Remember, they could stretch any part of their bodies. Any part. I suppose that might come in handy with the ladies.
Don’t know if he qualifies as a superhero, but there’s always Prez – the comic about a teenage president. Still, Neil Gaiman validated the whole concept when he used Prez in Sandman.
Cringe before Rainbow Raider and his glasses that shoot colors! Cower before Razorback and his electrified mane! (electrified mane? er…okay.) And marvel at the might of the Ten-Eyed Man who has…um…ten eyes. One on each fingertip. Because, you know, success in crime is all about how well you can see. Yeah, that’s it.
No fair ** Tucker** picking on Dazzler. Absorbing sound and then converting that energy to light ain’t too shabby. Sure her gimmick may have been lame, but she was developed pretty well.
However, what about Grow-Arm-Hair-Lad who can grow the armhair on his right arm to about 3 foot long, and Pull Yourself Together Man who can cause his body to fall apart completely, guts and all, then, well, pull himself back together. Grosses villains out enough that they get sick and are easy to stop.
I was just checking out some of my old comics, and I may have the lamest power ever. The Codpiece, a villain from the Doom Patrol (Rachel Pollack’s run as writer). He designed a giant dildo with various devices that could pop out- The punching gloves were pretty funny. He was defeated when Coagula, who’s power was to change the state of matter from solid to liquid made him go “limp”.
Does anyone remember the Wonder Twins Zan and Jana? One could turn into animals I think and the other could turn into various forms of water. Now that’s pretty lame. Although not as bad as a human dildo.
The worst SERIOUS attempt at a new super-power (excluding the joke groups like Inferior Five and Great Lakes Avengers) would have to be Magma of the New Mutants. She could move tectonic plates and channel lava. Kind of an interesting power, unless your adventures usually took place in New York City. Chris, what the hell were ya thinking?
Another New Mutants character with a power of dubious worth was Lila Cheney, who could teleport, but only to distant galaxies. She had a star with a Dyson Sphere built around it. Some neat Sci-Fi ideas should stay out of Marvel continuity, if you ask me.
Finally, let’s consider the Avengers’ Scarlet Witch, who puts her hands togethr to form “improbability hexes.” The character has been written by probably twenty different writers just on the AVENGERS and related titles, but no two of them seem to agree on what, exactly, her power does.
Oh, I don’t know about that. I’ve always enjoyed coming up with ways that weak powers could be used effectively. Major Disaster could really do some damage to a villains hide out, or just cause the earth to swallow up a criminal.
Imagine how Dirigible Boy (The Blimp?) could use psychological pressure.
“Curses! The Blimp’s slow attack is driving me mad! Why won’t he just bring it on? The wait is making my blood pressure rise!”
I always wondered if Color Kid wasn’t actually changing some property of an object which caused the color to change, and if he could have learned how to control chemical reactions or transmute things like Element Lad.
Now, if you want a really useless power, try Stone Boy. Able to turn to solid stone, but it’s a racial hybernation power, so he can’t move or anything, 'cause he’s asleep! (Makes a good battering ram though.)
Major Disastor sold his soul for an upgrade. Now he knows everythings hidden weakness and is a master of chaos theory. He drops some cheese in a science lab, and causes a chain reaction that wipes out a city. Pretty cool.
He could. I’m pretty sure that he’s changed green kryptonite into one of the other, less lethal to Kryptonians types of kryptonite by using his color-change powers on it, and this was decades before Tom and Mary Bierbaum upgraded the Legion of Substitute Heroes’ powers for the 90s.
By waving his hands, he could cause dirty dishes to vanish and reappear, sparkling clean, in the proper cabinets.
After discovering his power, he bought a costume and attempted to fight crime. The comic was largely serious.
The MysteryMen-The Comic
The Shoveller-He found the shovel of King Arthur
The Mystic Hand-His hands can seperate from his body and fly. He loses control of them if he loses sight of them.
Bondo Man-His body is made of car-repair-putty
There are plenty of other MysteryMen, but some have useful powers.
From The Flaming Carrot(also by Bob Burden)-
Silly Jack-He has the powers of silly putty. We never see him bend or stretch. But he does copy a villian’s face by picking up the image with his hand
I remember a 70’s Metal Men comic by Joe Staton. The villain was a writer who’d had a typewriter accidentally grafted to his hand. Whatever he typed happened. Could be a pretty mean power, since it’s basically “make a wish.” I never saw the conclusion issue, so I don’t know how they beat him…maybe he ran out of ribbon.
As long as some of us are trashing the New Mutants, how about Wolfsbane? Turn into a wolf? I’d think that the average super-villian would find a regular joe like me a lot more threatening than a wolf…
The Human Flea- He could jump really high and far. He also carried bags of hungry fleas to throw at victims. Batman was less than impressed.
IQ- Due to exposure to a meteorite, IQ got smarter when exposed to sunlight. Not that bad a power BUT-He once escaped prison by making a toy pinwheel that bent light.
The Trapster- actually he knows squat about traps. His weapon is Adhesive X-super superglue.
Kid Slick- I think that’s his name anyway. This member of the latest incarnation of the Doom Patrol can cancel the effects of friction on his body.
