I nominate the theme to Absolutely Fabulous.
Wheels on fire,
Rolling down the road.
Best notify my next of kin,
This wheel shall explode.
Uh, sure. The music sucked too.
Tony Stark
Makes you feel
He’s a cool exec
With a heart of steel.
Iron Man, 1968, decades before Iron Man was cool.
The end of the Civil War was near
When quite accidental-ly
A hero who sneezed
Abruptly seized
Retreat and reversed it to vic-
Tory!
His Medal of Honor pleased and thrilled
His proud little family group
When pinning it on
Some blood was spilled
And so it was planned
He’d command…
F TROOP!
Where Indian fights
Are colorful sights
And nobody takes a lickin’
'Cos paleface and redskin
Both turn chicken…
damn, why do I know even that much by heart??
Gee Thanks, now I can’t get that song out of my mind!
That’s Dylan. :eek:
Hey, the last verse! Now I can know the whole thing by heart. Thanks!
I had no idea. It still sounded like shit, though.
I disagree with some of the other choices in this thread.
I can’t even understand this one.
Not nearly the abomination Hulk is…merely Spider-Man level bad.
The Fantastic Four’s theme song wasn’t good, either.
Nor Captain America…though that’s not too awful…just hurt by reminding me of another song, but not quite being it, and thus bugging the hell out of me… >_>
Marvel’s 60s cartoons unleashed a lot of awful theme songs…
I disagree. I thought the theme suited Archer & the ship’s mission, & was a refreshing change from the instrumental themes of DS9 & Voyager.
The worst themes are those orchestrated '80s sitcom themes with oh-so-earnest lyrics. Oh, and the Enterprise theme, which is basically an earnest '80s theme in spirit.
The rest of you are just sooooo wrong – You’ve listed some of the absolute best theme songs ever – Greatest American Hero, Married With Children, Dukes of Hazzard, Fall Guy, Wheels on Fire, F-Troop, Three’s Company, …
The kids’ show ‘Arthur’ is on every morning just before a show my daughter likes to watch; we usually catch the theme tune and it gets stuck in my head for hours and hours. The show is patronising schmaltz, so it fits, but the song actually manages to be worse. And no, I am not writing the lyrics down - I’m not that cruel. Not today, anyway.
OMFG, how about the theme from The OC? God I fucking hated that song.
Califorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnia
Mighty Heroes: This one was pretty awful…
Roger Ramjet. Just OUCH.
This is my choice too but for a different reason.
Are you smarter than a 5th grader?
Cuz there’s gonna be a test later.
Teacher, teacher now we’re back in school
are you smarter than you used to be?
A four line stanza and no one could come up with a decent 4th line that rhymes with school? Or a decent third line that rhymes with be?
The original theme song to Star Trek had no lyrics.
But then Gene Roddenberry found out you could get more in royalties if your song had lyrics, even if the words were never sung.
More precisely, he found out he could get royalties on a theme someone else composed.
Anybody remember Ivan the Terrible from the mid 70’s?
“living in Moscow, beautiful Moscow is getting better every day, Hey!”
*Teenage
Mutant
Ninja Turtles!
Teenage
Mutant
Ninja Turtles!
Teenage
Mutant
Ninja Turtles!
Heroes in a
Half-Shell!
Turtle Power!
*
That’s because it was nepotism. The male singer was Adrian Edmondson, aka Jennifer Saunders’s (Edina’s) husband.
My selection would be “How Soon is Now” as the theme song for Charmed. How do you take a show about three kickass women, who inherited a birthright that gives them vast supernatural powers, and pin that with “I am the son and the heir to a shyness that is criminally vulgar” even if you do edit out the second half of that line. When the feminine magic was central to the show, they couldn’t find a song that didn’t start focus on a man (sung by man), they couldn’t write one? Lazy!