I hated the song for Cannon. Actually, I hated the guy who played him and his speaking voice too.
And his beady little eyes.
He was also the narrator for the Rocky & Bullwinkle cartoon series. I loved that show.
Second that. You had a perfectly good bluesy instrumental and loused it up, no matter how awesome John Popper is.
(However, I gotta disagree with the guy who disliked the Fall Guy theme. “But when I hit the hay it’s only hay… hey hey”? Epic win.)
Facts of Life was pretty awful.
It’s theme song was crap, too 
Seinfeld? Is that a song? Actually, it’s nothing, which is apropos.
Three’s Company, which I hate independently of the show, which I also hate.
Gilmore Girls - I can’t even tell you why right now, because I’m managed to block it from my brain and don’t remember it at ALL. I DO remember hurrying franticly for the remote everytime I watched the otherwise excellent show, and always tried to predict which snarky comeback would trigger the opening credits.
As for shows I DO still remember, that extremely loud FALLING IN LOVE!!! crap song from the somewhat crap Secret Life of the American Teenager sung by the mom (grandmom now?) from the John Hughes 80s films. And I thought this was supposed to be about a girl and her French Horn 
It doesn’t have to be a bad song. A perfectly good song can be totally inappropriate for a particular show and hence be in the running for “Worst Theme.” I therefore nominate Frank Sinatra’s *Love And Marriage *which was used as the theme song for Married With Children.
Are you crazy? That song fit MWC PERFECTLY. However, one of the worst theme songs EVER was the royalty-free instrumental version they used for the DVD releases.
I’ve always wondered what it was like to live in a world where Love & Marriage WASN’T associated with that show…
“The LOVE BOAT…”
Worst? Just the Ten of Us
or CHiPs
Best? The Rockford Files
or The Streets of San Francisco (a QUINN MARTIN production)
Hey, baby I hear the blues a-callin’, tossed salads and scrambled eggs…
I do believe, sir, that you are dead inside.
Diff’rent Strokes.
Family Ties gets my vote, but that may be because I never watched Diff’rent Stroke or Facts of Life, and don’t remember the themes for shows like Kate and Allie and Growing Pains. The 1980s was definitely the Era of Terrible Themes (not to mention terrible shows).
A couple of other songs that just occurred to me.
One, the NBA on NBC theme (aka Roundball Rock). Not that it was a bad song, it just came at a time where Michael Jordan and the Bulls were beating the tar out of everyone, especially my beloved Bucks. Hard to get enthused when all you have to throw at the Jordans and Pippens of the world are guys like Blue Edwards and Brad Lohaus.
(Yeah, I know it sounds shallow, but how many members of the Washington Generals can honestly claim they like Sweet Georgia Brown?)
Also, the 1995-97 NFL on NBC theme. No deep seated sports fan trauma here, this one was seemingly everywhere and universally beloved, but just… boring.
Weren’t the Washington Generals paid stooges of the Globetrotters? I’d think that it meant payday for them.
The two season show Love Sidney would be on the short list for me; it’s all sung and by the leads- Tony Randall (who could carry a tune but not one anybody would want to buy, though he evidently thought he was Caruso), Swoosie Kurtz (another ‘can carry a tune’ but Patti Lupone she ain’t) and Kaleena Kiff (the screeching little girl on the show). You can hear it at the beginning ofthis episode.
As an aside, there’s a great 4 part series on YouTube called 1981 TV Show Openingsthat somebody distilled from some old VCR tapes. The best thing about them to me is that many are for shows I hadn’t thought about since 1981, but as a teenaged couch potato at that time I remembered them instantly when I heard them again.
But that theme is brilliant. The lyrics perfectly suit the show’s concept, it’s funny, and it’s not irritating, like a lot of theme songs.
I’ve gotta stop opening this thread…every time I do, for some reason I look at the OP and the Hulk theme gets stuck in my head. (And, to make it worse, I can actually sing 3/4 of it - there’s a couple lines I always forget.)
The OP’s description does little to explain the horror of the 60s Hulk cartoon OP…
How in the world did we get this far without including the horrible “Thank You for Being a Friend” from The Golden Girls? :shudder: