Wouldn’t bother me by itself. It more depends on the overall tone. If their ad has a lot more about what they don’t want then what they do, I will lose interest.
I agree with everyone who is saying that having your preferences is fine, but flat out saying “No blacks” or whatever is incredibly racist, even if you don’t intend it to be.
If someone however said, “I tend to be only attracted to white guys…” or whatever, that wouldn’t be a huge red flag. But as stated in the OP? If they just flat out said “whites only”, well that’s just racist and stupid.
So definitely a deal-breaker.
Yeah, I wouldn’t date a diabetic either.
Seriously, when I’ve done online dating race wasn’t an issue, but I always mentioned that I was 420 friendly just to avoid wasting anyone’s time.
I’ve been thinking about my original answer (personal preference akin to height/weight requirement, no biggie). While that remains my feeling in theory, I think location has a lot more to do with it than I had considered. Hypothetically, everyone lives in a place where the dating pool is racially diverse enough to make skin color just another aesthetic preference worth mentioning, in order to narrow down potential partners to include only those with your most desired physical traits. In reality, I live in a state with a population that’s over 90% white, so if I did see a “white only” caveat, it would seem so puzzlingly unnecessary to me that racism likely would be my first thought, and it would be an obvious deal-breaker for me. On the other hand, if I saw an ad specifying anything other than “white”, I’d probably just think, “yeah - good luck with that”, and assume the ad-writer was a member of the same minority, seeking someone with common cultural ties. Maybe that makes me racist, or reverse-racist, or something. :dubious:
Haven’t read all 64 answers yet but I will say that it wouldn’t bother me if a person were looking for another person of the same race. Most people like to date people that are somewhat like themselves. I also think there’s nothing wrong with dating someone from another race/culture (I am white, have dated a couple of non-whites). But I would find it off-putting for a person to *exclusively *want to date people of some other race. Would seem like some kind of fetish.
Meh, some people don’t find people of certain races attractive. Not like you can control that. I suppose, crude as it is, putting [blanks] only in the ad is preferable to wasting someone’s time then going UGH when they show up.
Anyone who makes a point of emphasizing their preferences turns me off in general. It’s an indicator of self-centeredness and an overinflated ego. Because perish the thought that they get actually someone from Undesirable Group X cluttering up their inbox with emails. If they have a problem with a certain class of persons, it’s not all that difficult to ignore them.
Surprising results. I thought that more people would say it was a deal breaker. I’ll admit that there are some cultures I’m usually not attracted to, but once in a while, someone will come along and change my mind. If a man prefers the aesthetic look of dark skin, he probably won’t be as attracted to someone who is Polish. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. You can’t really help what you think is hot. However, if a someone won’t date a particular person because of some personality characteristic that they attribute to that person’s whole race, that’s just gross and ignorant. Also, it’s just tacky to put “[race] only” in a personal ad. I’ve wanted to put “tall men only” on OkCupid, but that would just make me come across as some self-important biatch.
I like em’ brown, yellow, Puerto rican, and Haitian -A Tribe Called Quest 
LOL
I don’t see how. Do you put (or have in mind, even if you don’t say it) any minimum height at all?
It may be a bit more arguable for other races, but “whites only” is definitely racist. Even if she’s not white herself, the person in question clearly has a problem with guys of their own race.
There are just too many characteristics that do not align themselves with racial lines for anyone to completely rule out people of an entire race, no matter what characteristics they are attracted to. I mean, I know I’m not generally attracted to black women, but I’ve also ran into some absolute hotties. And for me, that only happens if I actually leave the general area, since I live in a completely white town. I can’t imagine not having met someone of X race that is attractive if you actually live in a multicultural city.
I get that people have certain preferences and I also understand not wanting to waste time but whenever I see “[RACE] only” I think something is a little off.
The bigger issue to me is when people of a certain race will only date people of a race that is not theirs. Sorry Blackberry, but the last white girl I dated who fit that profile had a ton of issues. In general I try to steer clear of non-black girls who only date black guys.
On the plus side, at least I know exactly what type of person you are if your profile says “NO BLACK GUYS!!!”
I’d be turned off if only a single race was listed, as it strikes me that the person has some relatively strong prejudices, but it may not be a deal breaker if I could ask them their reasoning and it’s plausible.
I would never put that sort of an exclusion on any personal ad I did, but I have to admit that I am generally not attracted to most black women. I wouldn’t ever rule someone out based on race, as there are women of all races that I have found stunningly attractive, but I do notice a personal tendency in who I find attractive. Can’t really give you a reason, as there are a fair number of African American women that I have found very attractive, but if I look at who tends to get me revving, I tend to find Caucasian and Hispanic women more attractive than women of other races.
I could see some people having much stronger feelings and simply not finding a physical attraction at all to those with certain physical characteristics. Still, it’d strike me as a little off, since I wouldn’t ever exclude an entire race from a search for a mate.
As far as personal compatibility, I wouldn’t have any problem at all dating or marrying someone from any race, as long as I was physically attracted to them and we were compatible.
I do..in the search engine lol, but not on my profile. Best minimum height for me is 5’10’'. I feel shallow admitting it. I just feel like an amazon if I’m close to the same height as a guy. Race is kind of a joke tho imo. As long as they’re tall, funny, and smart. What about you? Do you care about height? I think putting a height requirement in a profile is bitchy. I said ‘no smokers’, but that’s as far as go on the diva spectrum.
I do not find it at all racist. You’re attracted to who you’re attracted to. Why waste anyone’s time if you’re not going to be interested from the start? At least he didn’t say “no fatties”.
The more I think about it, the more I realize if it was listed as “(race) only”, it would be a deal breaker. If it was listed as a preference, I think I’d be ok with it, provided there was no maliciousness behind it.
I think some people are overthinking this a bit.
A person chooses “no race X” in the profile because, on some websites its a binary choice of yes/no, and even if it isn’t well, you are stating a strong preference.
But that is NOT the same as random white dude saying “I don’t care if she is the fracking girl of my dreams on paper (or even real life), I ain’t having it because she is black”. Doesn’t mean he is attending KKK meetings every third Wed.
Because of the limits of the media, random white dude could well realize “heh, I ain’t attracted to black women, have never dated one, probably won’t because you know I never have yet, so why even try in the first place?”
It’s funny. Been playing around on match DOT com lately. They have daily matches. So, you click on it and they give you a handful of new matches. Shows a pic and some info. If you are interested you click on an “I’m intrigued” button to get more info. Not interested you click on a “No Way!” button.
Which, again, kinda highlights the problem. The ones I might consider more…no way in shit am I “intrigued” with them. Just perhaps slightly more interested than not. And at the other end, the ones I pass on are not “no way” get away from me you hideous beast…its more of “doesn’t seem a good match thank you”.
I don’t see it as racist, I see it as an attraction no different from gender or sex preference.
I don’t care about height as long as they’re taller than me, which almost all men are taller than 5’4. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting a tall man and saying so. The more specific you are about your requirements, the better chance you have of getting a good match. Not specific just to be picky, but honest. If you’re not going to reply to a short guy, I don’t think it’s bad to say that (in a nice way, obviously).
I’ve tried dating men who weren’t my type physically a few times before, and it just didn’t work. Dating is awkward enough without having to TRY to be attracted to the person. And boy did I try with this awesome Asian guy once. But unfortunately it was too weird.
And no smokers for me either!
Hard preferences about superficial things weird to me in general. If you put “Must be 5’10+” in your ad, would you really turn down a guy who sounded great in every other way that was 5’8? Similarly with race. Sure, you may not have been attracted to people of certain races generally, but there’s no chance you might find your first one.
To me, anyone who would exclude people for superficial critieria - I mean completely exclude them and not just list a preference - is unattractively closed minded. When you mix race into the deal it becomes more likely to be close minded and racist, which are some pretty unappealing traits.