Depends how long they’d keep it up for. A couple times, fine, whatever. Drag it out for half an hour and heads will roll.
I find “hovering” the most supremely annoying thing at work. My boss loves to hover over me as I’m typing something and stare at the screen. Even if it’s something meant to go to him, I don’t care. Every time he does it I want to turn around and hoof him in the balls.
Zebra, I haven’t noticed them patting anyone else’s head.
I’m also one of a very few number of women at the job. I’m thinking the guys patting me on my head would not dare do the same to another coworker, if only because of the whole homophobia thing.
What if they did it every time they passed your cubicle?
I’m not against touchy-feeliness. I don’t touch other people but I don’t mind if someone touches me (in a non-sexual way, of course) during a conversation or something. But I don’t like when people touch me on my head. I’m not vain, but my hair is very impressionable. I don’t want to go around work with handprints in my fro.
No freakin’ way. I’m a girl, I was brought up super-conservative, I’ve gotten over most of it, but don’t touch me without a reason! I don’t mind jokes or anything else but I don’t like people I don’t know very well touching me.
Starsky & Hutch:
“Why are you touching him?!”
/Starsky & Hutch
wasson, I don’t know about you, but I can’t really help being bothered, offended, or annoyed at things. I can help how I visibly react (which I did, by not going off on anyone), but I can’t help the feeling.
That may be a little different. If they just rubbed it and kept walking without saying another word and they did it constantly and I didn’t know them very well, it MIGHT annoy me. Probably not, but MAYBE if I was already having a bad day or something.
But if that was a coworkers standard greeting, to rub and then say hello or start a conversation, I’d probably get to the point that I’d be concerned if I didn’t get the rub when he walked by.
I guess it depends on your definitions of ‘very well’. I wouldn’t want a stranger on the subway or at a restaurant walking by and rubbing my head, but I’d consider anyone walking by my cubicle friend enough to grab a handful of my hair if they felt the urge.
Yeah, I’m actually pretty good at it. I think “Crap! I’m annoyed! Wait, being annoyed at this is silly. Nevermind. I’m not annoyed.” I’ve been able to do that since I was a kid. It’s a gift. I rarely get upset, but when I do, I get really upset and it lasts a long time.
If someone at work was coming by and touching my head/hair without asking first, I’d tell them to knock it off straightaway, particularly if it was a man (since I am a woman and there’s always the potential for some kind of harrassment to develop if they think it’s OK to just come up and touch you). It’s really not appropriate at all in a work environment.
And if they’re doing the “I wish Cotton was a monkey” thing to you, then they deserve to be slapped and reported to their boss as well. I’m not sure how you’d go about determining that, though.
I cut my hair very short and sometimes shave it and have had females at work rub it out of the blue sometimes. But I just can’t imagine anyone rubbing a black woman’s hair just because of the usual nature of their hair, especially with a somewhat fancy hairdo.
I’m white, and female. When my head has been shaved people would pat/rub it all the time, even in the mall, out of curiousity or for “luck”. I often would slap their hands if I didn’t know them. So maybe it isn’t racism, just stupidity.
No one should touch me at work; it’s just not appropriate. The latest (of very few such instances, luckily) was the “new guy” with whom I was being to be comfortable and joke around. I made some little joking comments and his response was to cup the side of my face/head in what would be an affectionate gesture. This was someone who had been here maybe three days!! I couldn’t believe it, so I said nothing and moved on.
Then yesterday he was around when I was passing a colleague who called out a question. I must have looked a little put out because he said “‘Oh not another question’ she says” and patted my arm.
In all fairness, I am analyzing the situation and I think it’s because I am helpful and he wants to make sure we’re on good terms. He hasn’t touched others that I have seen but I have an eye out. I am also not one to talk myself out of my suspicions so I plan to keep track of these incidents.
So, short answer, yes, it would be irritating! 
What?! I don’t even like my casual friends to touch my hair. Part of it is probably that touching my hair for me is…er…erotic, and I don’t think that’s appropriate at work! Mostly it’s because I’ve got thick, curly hair, and you’re going to muss it up, and your oils mess with it, and WTF are you doing touching my hair anyway?
pant pant
Intimate friends, now that’s different.
Why would any adult touch any other adult’s hair in the workplace like that?
I think it is both condescending and sexist, if not outright racist. Do you know these people? Can you style your hair in such a way as to have a hair accotrement stab them if they touch it?
I’m a nurse, and we tend to be kinda casual at work. I have had a few FRIENDS braid my long, thick hair at work, primarily to get it off my neck. We do so in the lounge, away from the public.
I cannot imagine, under any circs where a drive-by patting would be acceptable of appropriate.
Good luck–hey! rub your own head for luck!
:rolleyes: 
I probably would have said something like “What the HELL are you doing?” the first time, and during all subsequent pats/rubs I probably would have slapped them away. Then I’d complain to whoever was above those people about that unprofessional patronizing behavior.
I never heard of rub-a-black-person’s-head-for-luck, but I know too well about the “she’s so short, isn’t she cute…pat pat pat” sort of thing.
:dubious:
A sociology prof. of mine was also an advisor of my fraternity. He was also black. In class he commented how white people love to touch black people’s hair. I had never considered such a thing, so the next time I saw him at the bar, I touched his hair. His hair felt so cool, I had to do it again.
Google turns back so few hits on the topic that I’m quite skeptical it’s genuine. I’ve certainly never heard of it, nor had my sociology prof. who was from the south. He just said that whites got a kick out of the feel of blacks’ hair; a fair statement I later discovered.
Needles and curare come to mind.
Were they Japanese?
I would have zero tolerance for anything but a handshake in the workplace. If I let one person touch me, what’s to stop other people? IMO, it’s not a matter of “lightening up” it’s just basic respect for others. It’s not appropriate to touch your co-workers.
People sometimes pat my hair, but most often they try to run their fingers through it or pull on it to see the curls sproing. Dammit, I just got all five hundred pounds of my curly hair wrestled into submission and you have to go mess it up. Sometimes I don’t have access to a mirror and/or the time to fix it, so now I’ve got to walk around with my hair sticking out funny or flopping out of it’s pins because you have no more impulse control than a four year old.
As to good luck, the only thing I’ve ever heard was that patting was disrespectful and a big no-no. One of my professors told how she’d taught on a reservation, I forget which tribe (western U.S.). One day, after helping a student with a problem she gave him a pat on the head and walked back to her desk. The young man didn’t come to school for a couple of days, so she asked where he was. It seems the student was pretty important, (possibly the next leader?), and he had to go through a long ritual to restore things to rights. I’ve never had a chance to study that sort of thing in depth, so I hope she wasn’t kidding. At least it taught me there was more than one reason never to touch a student. Erm… not that I would anyway. Keep your hands to yourself is my motto.
Extremely.
Especially under the circumstances of your office and the fact that they’re not doing it to others.
Sounds more like flirting to me. Is he cute? lol.