A friend of mine had always wanted to call his first son Dylan. In an event like a Seinfeld episode he told someone else this and they beat him to the punch. They decided to name their soon-to-arrive son Dylan.
My friend, although he was annoyed, intended to still name his first son Dylan. But the friend’s son Dylan turned out to be profoundly fucked-up with a multitude of physical and psychological problems.
My friend called his first son Scott. And it is exactly the right name for him.
Why? How does it harm you?
My brother-in-law chose his parents’ anniversary on which to get married. I thought it was a nice tribute (although BIL’s marriage didn’t last and he’s remarried now). Coincidentally, it was also the date of my parents’ anniversary. It made sending cards easy to remember for awhile. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it at all and actually think it’s kind of nice - what better way to celebrate your anniversary than going to a wedding?
On the name thing, it would only bother me if it was a close relative that was “copying”. I mean, it would be kind of annoying for 1st cousins to share a name. My mom actually had this happen. She was pregnant with me and had a boys name picked out. My aunt had her baby and used the name she knew my mom was planning on using. Pissed my mom off but it turned out okay because I’m a girl!
A co-worker using “your” name, though? Chances are your kids will never meet and you’ll be out of touch with the co-worker in the next couple years anyway. No Big Deal.
You are asking the wrong question I am afraid. Entirely the wrong question.
The correct question is: Should you get involved in the unresolved sibling issues of your much beloved spouse in any way, even peripherally?
The answer is: no, no, a thousand times no. Stay the hell out. Better yet, run for cover.
(Female, married, five sibs. Believe me, it isn’t worth being "right"on this one. Of course you are right. This has nothing to do with what is actually going on. Run away I tell you.)
Anniversary — not a big deal. Who celebrates other people’s anniversaries each year, anyway?
Re: names. My father’s cousin was royally irked that I was named “JoeBob Smith” because she wanted to name her impending son “JoeBob Harris” after her and my father’s grandfather, JoeBob McNoodles. My parents said, “Go ahead; we don’t care. You live 2000 miles away, you have a different last name, our kid already has a maternal cousin named JoeBob Jones, and we don’t see you much anyway.” The cousin wanted her kid to be unique and special, though, so she called him Chad (I think). This was in the early 1970s. I don’t use the name JoeBob (or its real-world equivalent, a popular early 70s male name) and we haven’t seen the Harrises in about 30 years. But I’m sure she enjoyed her pointless indignation.
Female. No, I wouldn’t care. I just don’t see why it would matter. The only people who celebrate an anniversary are the two people in the marriage anyway (except maybe for the big ones like 25 and 50). For anyone else in the world, it’s just another day like any other, and perfectly fair game.
I know none of my three sisters would care either. Actually, we would probably think that was kind of cool, as we could help each other remember the date for future anniversaries. We’re all forgetful about stuff like that.
My mother’s twin brother got married on her first anniversary. I suspect she may have been slightly ticked at the time, but now it’s just the nice reason why they call each other on their anniversaries – and I’m fairly sure she doesn’t even remember her other siblings’ anniversaries.
Male, would not be capable of caring. I probably wouldn’t even notice it was my anniversary unless it was pointed out to me. Even if it was literally on the same day (as in simultaneous weddings), I wouldn’t care. The less attention on me, the better.
Female,
don’t think I would care - but I like my sister, we get along, our parents didn’t spend our childhood pitting us against each other, and we haven’t spent our entire lives trying to one up each other. Or at least not directly.
With different family dynamics, this could be another instance of siblings deliberately pressing each others’ buttons.
Excellent point. If there’s no underlying tension, no one will care. But if the siblings have been in competition all their lives then expect a life of passive aggression and ‘What are you doing for your anniversary?’-type questions.
Why did they pick that date? Was it because it was your anniversery or was itbecasue they needed a weekend in June and it was the only date the reception hall was available? I can see how the former might be kinda annoying. The latter is just coincidence.
But even if it was the former, what does it matter. Couples usually celebrate their wedding anniverseries privately anyway. When woudl the matching dates ever be an issue? (except maybe at your gigantic 50th shindig)
It doesn’t harm me. I’m not saying I would get upset about it, but I probably would gripe a little privately to my husband, as Phlosphr’s wife is doing to him. It’s not that I even make a big deal about my own anniversary - I guess there’s just a childish part of me that thinks my sister or brother should get their own damn wedding date. 
If my sister called me and told me she was getting married on May 26th, my second reaction after first congratulating her would be, “How cool is that? We’ll have the same anniversary!” For goodness sakes, it’s not like we own that date or anything. I can’t imagine finding anything more petty to be miffed about.
One more chick who would not care.
I agree with everyone who’s posted that anniversaries aren’t big shared celebrations. How does having the same anniversary in any way affect anyone involved?
I share a birthday with a younger cousin. Does not affect my enjoyment of my birthday one bit.
I checked with a couple of female coworkers, and none of us would care (I’m female as well). The only way it might matter is if the sibling’s wedding fell on a major anniversary so that I’d have to spend my 25th anniversary at his wedding rather making my own plans.
FWIW, my sister just gave birth to a Jackson, who we have already started calling Jack. Thing is, our dad’s cat (whom she also named) has been named Jack for years now. I think it’s kinda fun, plus I’m glad she didn’t name the sweet little tyke the same thing as her own cat: Kitty McLovin. Yes, very glad. BTW, she didn’t name the baby AFTER the cat, she just obviously likes the name.
I probably wouldn’t notice. If I did notice, I wouldn’t care.
Well, you would certainly be free from having to plan something special to do this anniversary, and that would be a huge bonus.
Fianceephone (femal) doesn’t care. Me (male) don’t care either.
However, if your wife was about to give birth on my birthday, I would have to insist she clench and hang on to the little critter for an extra 24 hours so that my special day is unmarred and I have to share it with no one!
My day! You hear me? Mine!
It wouldn’t bother me, but then again, I got married on Leap Year Day. I did find it funny that an old friend with whom I have spoken maybe 3 times in the last 8 years mentioned a couple weeks ago that if she were to get married, it would be on LYD. I reminded her that is my anniversary and she laughed and said “I guess I forgot that, great minds think alike.”