Would this piss you off?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Yet another minor drama in the life of this middle-aged white suburban man.

I play in a casual Wed p.m. golf league. My group has included Bill the past 3 years, and Ken the last 2. Our 4th is new this year. While I consider myself quite friendly with Bill and Kent, we do not socialize outside of this league.

Yesterday the forecast was iffy, but I had e-mailed Bill that I was going to be there. I was running a little later than usual, but I got to the first tee at least 5 mins before our scheduled tee time. I was not too pleased to learn that when our 4th had not shown, Bill and Ken had teed off as a 5-some with the 3 who had showed from the group ahead of us. (Like I said, it is a casual league.)

So i hustled down the fairway. Bill and Ken holed out with the other 3 - I had thought when they saw me they might have let the other guys go ahead, marked their balls, and putted out with me. When I got to the green they did not say a word. Didn’t say, “Sorry we teed off with those guys”, “We didn’t know if you were coming”, or even jokingly “About time you showed up.”

And that pissed me off. The only thing I said was when leaving the 1st green I asked Bill, “What is our tee time?” (The league is a 9-holes, and starts at 4:30. We are the 3d group, so should tee off at 4:46. But we can keep playing after 9, and at times they let us off a little early which lets us get more holes in. And I’m usually there before 4:30.) Bill replied “4:46.” And I said, “I was here before that.”

I didn’t say anything else, because I did not want to say something pissy. But I also didn’t want to just carry on as tho nothing had happened. Also for full disclosure, I’m currently in the final stages of a job interview process, which is more than a little stressful. I guess it pissed me off because these potential employers are consistently being inconsiderate to me (long story), and then on the golf course where I am usually very happy, and with guys I thought my friends, I get treated less courteously than I would treat a complete stranger.

Finally, on the 9th tee, Bill said, “I’m sorry we teed off without you.” And I replied, “Thank you.”

You what do you say? Am I just being a pissy little bitch? It is the kind of thing where I fear that if I say anything, the other guys might respond that I’m making a big thing out of nothing. Or if they didn’t say it, they might think it. And I also don’t want to open the floodgates and say something I would later regret.

2

Minor annoyance, aggravated by other life stressers, you got an apology, let it go. Life’s too short and you got bigger fish to fry. Let it go completely, without another thought.

3

Your scheduled group decided to start without you for no discernible reason? I’d be pissed. And hurt.

4

::nevermind, I’m not going to follow the golf stuff::

5

I can kinda see why they might have paired up if they didn’t think you were going to make it but their behavior after you did make it on time, giving you the silent treatment, was childish.

Nevertheless, y’all are friends, let it go. It’s not worth continued mental aggravation or the loss of playing partners. If nothing else they’ll now realize that when you say you’re going to be there, you’re going to be there.

ETA: Oh, and I hope once you land the job that the reasons behind the perceived inconsideration become clear and that professional, respectful consideration is again the norm.

6

Just a one time thing? Yeah, I’d be pissed but I think I’d be over it by the time I got home that night.

7

You never know what kind of day someone has had - you have other life things going on and so do they - let it go, you got an apology in the end…and I mean come on, we are talking about white suburban men who are not full in touch with their feelings…hell a 9th hole apology is HUGE!

8

With guys I know this casually, Iw ouldn’t get all greivous and butthurt over it. Once I caught up to them I’d slug them on the shoulder or give them a wedgie and say something to the effect of “What’s up bitches, are they having an early bird beer sale or something? Why ya gotta go leavin me before our tee time even started?”

The thing is, from the perspective of the 2 other guys, the 4th player didn’t show, and you didn’t really quantify how late you were going to be, so they opted to be social with the other guys and partner with them. Golf tee times are set in such a way that the other 4some probably had to leave about 5 minutes ahead of you, and your guys just opted to go along instead of wait for you. I wouldn’t make a big deal of it.

9

You lost me at golf.

10

I’d be a little pissed, given the multi-year association and your note. That would have been dispelled immediately if they had reacted differently upon seeing me. “Oh, man, sorry! We figured you weren’t showing up, my bad!” Something like that. But not a major thing in any event. But yeah, it would have pissed me off a bit. It’s a lack of respect.

11

Not at all. But you need to let it go.

12

I vote for pissy little bitch. Also, you’re dropping your elbow too early into your backswing.

13

LOL!

Yeah, like I said, it is minor, and I know I’ve got a lot else going on that is contributing to me not just shaking it off. But it just bugs me because it seems you get so much shit so often from all kinds of people, that I really wish I would get a little better from friends/acquaintances.

And I’m not the friendliest guy around, so when something like this happens it makes me question whether I was deluding myself to believe that we were closer than we actually are. Thanks all.

14

I think sometimes people just hate to wait, even for a few minutes. If they were all there and ready to go, even if it wasn’t exactly time to go, they’re gonna wanna go – especially if where they’re going is fun.

I get the impression that they consider the relationship to be very casual. If you were close friends, they would have waited. They didn’t care enough to wait. I wouldn’t be pissed off but my feelings would be hurt, a little bit.

15

Actually, if we were close friends, it would be less annoying, because you’d feel free to curse them out when you caught up. It’s because they’re less-close friends that you would think they’d be more likely to wait it out.

16

this. Next time update them with a phone call that you’re on time. You essentially told them you were late.

17

The job thing worked out as well. I was waiting for a call to set up a final interview over the next couple of weeks, and feared it would conflict with a long-planned annual golf trip. Just got a phone call giving me an interview that will still allow me to make the trip. Life is good! :cool: