Well, she DOES have a tweet asking for home remedies for an illness because she doesn’t have health insurance.
I assumed she was white as well but her Twitter profile describes her as “Desi-Kenyan”. A term I’m not familiar with but Google tells me that Desi means: “a person of Indian, Pakistani, or Bangladeshi birth or descent who lives abroad”. So maybe less self-hating and more garden variety racist.
Well, in the article she says she was raised in Switzerland. Of course, she also managed to grow up with Jewish (Israeli and non-Israeli) friends and Palestinian friends. Lucky that, so she can have such an unbiased view of the Israel-Palestinian problem.
That’s her mother’s ethnicity. I have read stuff about/from Lara Witt before.
Father is white, mother is half Kenyan, half Indian. (From a story excerpted in the link to the article on Why Evolution is True that I linked earlier.) (She sounds pretty self-hating in the article.)
Makes sense. I thought she looked fairly “white” but also figured that India & Kenya had enough white dudes in their history to not question it.
I doubt I would get past a waitperson asking for drink orders.
In general I agree with her across the board, but the degree to which I agree has variables that would probably end with a drink dumped on me and the the word “Nazi” used several times in a non flattering way.
Everyone is allowed dealbreakers. You can have whatever you want as your dealbreakers. A dealbreaker is just something that you know you can’t abide in a spouse or partner. If you can’t stand women who speak babytalk or men with chest hair or people with bad teeth or people who voted for Trump/Clinton or people who don’t like dogs or who wear too much pink or not enough pink, then that’s your prerogative. You know what is or isn’t something you can live with. Hers are a bit extreme, but good for her. She might be weeding out perfectly wonderful people, but if she knows that she can’t be with someone who doesn’t get BLM, then good on her for knowing who she is. Personally, I think she’s going to have trouble finding someone that fits her description, but that’s none of my business. When I was dating, I had dealbreakers (I needed someone very intelligent and who shared my religion) and they led me to my wonderful and amazing wife who is perfect for me in nearly every way. Maybe her dealbreakers will help her find her perfect match or maybe she’s just meant to be alone. Such is life.
Indeed. And they are likely deliberately more extreme because she’s writing them down in a blog format. If we all thought about it and wrote down our dealbreakers I’m pretty sure we’d find someone who thought ours were extreme.
Anyways, on the bright side, thanks to links here, I found that her twitter is actually somewhat interested and, at times, amusing, so I follow her now.
Almost every woman I’ve ever dated has pointed out my flaws and I did the same about them. It could be anything from telling me I talked to much, to I need to be more open to I need to work harder.
And thats the thing, They saw character flaws in me and I listened. And the same with them. We were both flexible.
Would this woman be flexible?
Ostensibly, she’s already henpecked herself a doormat for a husband. So she’s perfectly happy making someone’s life a living hell.
I am sure that like most people she is flexible. I agree with many people in this thread that she is drawing hard lines because of the forum she i placing her thoughts. The problem for me is that she decided to create this article in a “who you should not date, no exceptions” reference frame in the first place. Are we seriously going to believe that she wouldn’t date a buff fireman who rehomes abandoned kittens because he missed one criteria on the list?
Maybe she created a hypothetical henpecked intersectional feminist doormat husband that she writes about on feminist websites. And her actual relationship with her actual husband has some greater or lesser resemblance to that hypothetical husband.
But you know, it’s not emasculating for a man to wash some goddam dishes or change a goddam diaper. You can be a man, and wash a dish, and not be a henpecked doormat.
We don’t have completely compatible politics, but I don’t have contempt for her.
Flexibility is overrated in a marriage based on love. It usually corresponds to advocating people settle for partner choices that aren’t really good matches for them. People who want love marriages need to put their dealbreakers out there immediately. Her dealbreakers aren’t character flaws, but rather deliberate decisions people make about their politics and ethics. When it comes to a partner for a love marriage, these are the kind of things you shouldn’t be flexible about because overtime the little irritating things that everyone else urged you to be "flexible’ about creates red, hot hatred.
Insufferable is the right word. I have run across dating profiles that have similar checklists though maybe not so political. Hard pass for me. All of them come across as rigid and like they would be doing you a favor by dating them. I don’t give a shit what the actual questions are, if you have a quiz for me I want nothing to do with you. You are either going to be too inflexible for a long term relationship or you are completely full of your self. Probably both.
Having dealbreakers is one thing. Presenting a list of demands is stating I’m the important one here you are not.
Then don’t say Fenris’s impression of her was wrong, since there’s proof out there that it was indeed correct.
She’s presenting her requirements for a partner. It’s only a list of demands if you assume she is the only woman on Earth.
Agreed, 100%.
Oh good. Then we’re all caught up with the 1980s.