Would you allow your teens to have sleepovers with the opposite sex?

Lets say you have a very feminine son that has few friends and his closest is a girl who is around the same age. You discover through conversation with your son and his friend that they are both asexual ( lack of sexual attraction) and promise they won’t be fooling around any time soon. One day he asks if he she can stay over for a sleepover or go to her house with her girlfriends? Would you allow or disapprove?

I’ve read from few parents on other forums that they think it’s unacceptable because 1) The chance of pregnancy 2) They don’t want teens to be having sex under their roof. I think this is a perfectly valid opinion to have but if they did allow a sleepover with the same sex, would they mind if their child was openly gay? That definitely decreases the chance of pregnancy but they still might not want their children to be having sex before 18.

However how can one foster a healthy platonic relationship with the opposite sex if they only meet them in school, isn’t it good to atleast make a friend of the opposite sex and spend time with them just like they would with the same sex or am I wrong?

What’s your stance on this?


I’m not a prude

Sleepovers? How quaint. Next they’ll be going out to the malt shop before cruising the strip.

Your kid is already having sex in your basement if that’s what they want to do, and I think that you being home at the time may actually lower the chances of it happening this time.

I do not find the child’s orientation to be a consideration.

I suspect, as with many child rearing queries, if you feel you need to ask you are too late.

Yes. I have in the past, though it hasn’t come up very often.

I could live with it; no problem. Lets face it, if kids today are like I was at the same age, if they went to have sex they are going to find a way. And even if they don’t want to have sex, they are going to find a way. I don’t see all that changing much.

No, no way.
The “they’ll do it anyway” excuse doesn’t work for me. They’ll do things I disapprove and I have to show them I’m serious with my rules.
Not a prude, just a dad. I’m responsible for my kids.

Depends on the kid. One described in the OP I probably would. Most kids probably not though.

Are we just going to skip over the part where apparently we’re assuming that the kid is a bald-faced liar when he/she says that there’s no sexual attraction?

If there’s no sexual attraction, i.e the kid doesn’t have a history of lying through their teeth, the entire sleepover deserves no other treatment than the treatment afforded to any other sleepover with platonic friends.

If your kid tells you “I’m not going to shag this person” and that doesn’t make you feel like they’re, you know, not going to shag that person then there are preestablished problems in your parent-child relationship and no amount of forbidding sleepovers is going to change the fact that your kid apparently doesn’t want to be honest with you.

If they’re a teen I am assuming that parents are involved in some form or fashion.

I spent the night at a friends lakehouse with her family, I also had a co-ed new years party where we all stayed over.

The lakehouse girl and I even WERE sexually active (got to second base is all) and if I had my way I’m sure I wanted the same at the new years party.

That being said, I wasn’t having sex in high school because I didn’t want to/knew better so I would trust my kids to do the same

Depends on the child, depends on the friend. My best friend’s daughter (15) and my son (17) have been friends their whole lives. She spends the night here; he spends the night there. They did as children, I can’t see making them stop because they’re older. He has other female friends that I might not allow it.

Let the kids have fun.

They can spend time together outside of school without sleeping over.

Sure. As long as the “teen” is eighteen or over. :slight_smile:

Seriously, though, I’m surprised no one said anything about the age. Thirteen? Almost certainly not. Fifteen, and well educated in Birth Control, probably OK.

No. I’m sure they’re already having sex, but I’m not A-Okay with it happening while I’m there. Go have sex in the car like every other teenager ever.

It’s 2016 people, grow up. Teenagers are having the sex. It’s better that they do it in a safe environment than in a car on the side of the road in the woods where they will be murdered and eaten by cannibals.

Let them sleep together as long as they are 11 or older.

I don’t have kids, but I don’t see a problem with it. I might make them leave the door open.

No. I’m okay being quaint or prudish or whatever.

If the kids want to “do it anyway”, so be it but won’t be with my facilitation. They can uncomfortably bang in the backseat of a Toyota Matrix as God intended.

I’m guessing that this thread mostly is about just two kids of each gender sleeping over. My kids hosted and attended lots of sleepovers all through their teens where there were four to 10 kids of both genders, mostly made up of kids my wife and I know very well. Just two kids? Yeah, that’s a bit different, but still not out of the question.

Certainly, the practical matter is if they want to shag, they are going to find a way to do it, whether they are gay or straight, at home or away, etc.

Yes to all of this.

There’s a huge difference between ‘Can I have a sleepover with my platonic friend?’ and ‘Can I have a sleepover with my boyfriend?’

The platonic friend, sure, you can have the sleepover. I’ve always had platonic male friends. Those friendships are wonderful and valuable, I hope my kids have them too, and if they do I plan to encourage them.

The boyfriend depends entirely on what age they both are, and on how much I feel like they’ve both got a handle on the concept of not having physically or emotionally irresponsible sex.