I have hated the plates we had for three years. Not only were they chipped to hell and not microwave safe, they were (IMO) butt-ugly, AND they had been picked by his ex-wife. I’d told him several times that when we had the money, I wanted to get some new plates. We talked about what sort we would both like (nothing too flowery, etc.) Last night, he came home with a bunch of new plates and bowls. He said he had gone to the store to pick up a trash can, and saw things on sale and decided to buy them. He doesn’t understand why I’m upset that I didn’t have any say in choosing them! Not only that, had I been consulted, I would have said 1. “Gee, at this point in time, wouldn’t it be better to spend money on things for our baby that’s due in April? Like, oh, say, a friggin’ CAR SEAT since we don’t have an infant car seat?” and 2. “IF you feel we simply must have plates soon, wouldn’t it be better to wait two weeks until the next paycheck when the rent and car payment aren’t due?” He brought home plain white plates, which I might have chosen anyway-- but I wasn’t given a choice, and that’s what chaps my hide. Now he’s spinning it as “I just wanted to surprise you, and now you’re being ungrateful.” :mad:
So now, I feel like he sees me as something akin to the family dog-- pleasant to have around, but not deserving of being consulted for an opinion. (This isn’t the first thing that makes me feel this way, but it may be the last straw. Despite the fact he says he wants me to be a stay at home mother, he seems to have no respect for me if I’m not bringing home a paycheck. Considering that I’m due in April and unlikely to find a job that would recoup the cost of caring for an infant, it seems most cost-efficent to me to do exactly what I’m doing. Which is also what I want and what he SAYS he wants.) Is it so bizarre to want to choose the pattern of your plates together, and not be handed them as a fait accompli? If I wanted to be ordered around all day, I would have joined the military, not gotten married! And, now we are coming up short because he assumed a check he had written about a month ago for car repairs had cleared, and they in fact deposited it today. So that was money we REALLY didn’t need to be spending.