What are they supposed to say if she says she’s busy?
FYI, we often have digressions before we really get to the point with answering a post. And overall, the folks here skew older (40s-70s) and are generally socially stodgy. So some of what you’re going to hear from some folks is mere disapproval, period, end of story. If that’s not what you want, just ignore those folks.
OK. You’ve now made it clear what’s going on. She has several friends with benefits and lots more applicants for that role. And *she says *she wants a stable relationship. Whether she really wants that, or just wants to want that is something I’ll address below.
Time for you to tell her, in plain English, that the guys who are or want to be FWBs are not stable relationship material. And that as long as she is doing the FWB thing, she’ll be driving away almost all of the guys who might be stable relationship material.
So she faces a choice: Stop FWBing with all of them, not just some or even most of them, then start looking in new places for a different relationship dynamic with a different kind of guy. And do without non-solo sex for the weeks or months that takes.
OR …
Keep doing what she’s doing. And keep getting the results she’s gotten so far.
She gets to choose. But she *has *to choose. She can’t have it both ways because the world doesn’t work that way.
You job isn’t to judge, or to be seen by her to judge. Your job is to *try to *break her out of the illusion that she can have it both ways. And if trying fails, to tell her that you’ve said your piece on the topic and you won’t participate in any more of her whining about it. Then make that stick.
I agree with **even sven **that she’s young enough to still be fumbling her way towards what she wants. She doesn’t have to get there any time soon. Your goal is to get out of the middle of her drama. You can’t be the crying towel every Monday morning.
She needs to eventually absorb the truth that in life we can choose our decisions or our consequences. We don’t get to choose both. Some folks learn that early, others never do. Hit her nicely with the clue stick once or twice and if it doesn’t soak in, then wash your hands of the situation.
Dopers think they’re all PhD psychologists. Ignore them.
Your sister is a slut. Hopefully, it’s a phase and she soon realizes how others look at her. You could try and talk to her about it. Tell her what that guy you ran into at Walmart said about her and ask her if that’s what she wants people to think about her.
The feminazi morons here will try and defend her texting 50 guys in one day. As though it’s perfectly normal, mature behavior. Ultimately, though, she has to choose to date like a normal person.
Does she have huge emotional dependency or loneliness? This is very psychologically needy behavior.
And that her “calendar” is complete.
Basically, ah yes she has to be saying she has Friends With Benefits, so as to not make anyone angry. Its the honest thing to say isn’t it, and the best, so that no one gets hurt. (physically or emotionally or both.).
And she must be saying “like start as FWB” and there is no exclusivity … (Whats in her life plan ? For a while, until I am pregnant, until I am engaged, until I am married, when I feel like it… or never… ? )