It’s not so much that they hold a particular belief, it’s that those who hold that particular belief also just about always have a shit-ton of other qualities, values, life experiences, etc. that simply don’t mesh at all with me and would make for a terrible romantic partner.
Yet again, ditto this x100
What? No. Hell no. The only way it even makes “sense” (for different values of ‘sense,’ of course) to think that homosexuality is ‘morally’ wrong is if you are religious, and I don’t waste my time with religious people, including my own relatives.
Actually having gay sex. The idea is that like, say, having too much cake, the desire can’t be completely avoided but it’s still wrong to go and do it.
Of course, but what I don’t know won’t kill me. I can’t stay holed up away from society my whole life. Plus, I can’t begin every conversation with “how do you feel about…”. But if someone makes that opinion known to me I’ll almost certainly never be able to like them again. It’s kind of like finding out your friend is a neo-nazi.
A vague idea that homosexuality is “bad” is a rather benign opinion IMO, seeing as she obviously doesn’t really hate anyone. I couldn’t imagine immediately dropping someone over it unless this is an issue you hold very near and dear to your heart. Everyone has a few flaws.
No way in hell.
I could never respect someone who thinks like that. People who believe that may also believe that abortion is wrong. We would eventually end up fighting about it, so I wouldn’t even start something with the person.
I’m not sure I’d want to even be friends with someone that closed minded.
Excellent, well-written post. I agree entirely.
As I recall from polls, not terribly long ago, great majorities of people in the USA
thought that homosexuality was wrong. In many parts of the world that’s still the case. Did the majority of people in this thread just have few friends until recently? If for some reason they moved to Saudi Arabia or India, would they just get along with no friends at all?
I agree wholeheartedly. I am a libertarian at heart and I have true friends ranging from the Far Left to the Far Right plus everything in between and I have had some really close gay friends. Political or sexual preferences aren’t even in my top 10 when it comes to picking people I like. I pick people based on much more mundane things like the willingness to show up on time, being interested some of the stuff I like and not be an asshole in general. I personally don’t care about many social issues at all so I don’t even see how it would ever come up in the first place. As long as someone is nice enough, doesn’t screw me over personally and we have some common interests, that is all I need to know.
I really, really doubt that it would come up for me, but I wouldn’t date someone who thinks that homosexuality is wrong any more than I’d date someone who thinks that race mixing is wrong or that women shouldn’t be allowed to vote. And this is because the direct belief is a problem for me, not that it’s an indication that they might not be compatible in other ways.
There’s a huge difference between expecting people to march in lockstep with your beliefs, and excluding people who have beliefs that are fundamentally opposed to basic human decency and civil rights from your dating pool.
Do you really think you are going to find a person who always agrees with you on social issues?
Arent things like money, sex, and kids more important?
Did anyone hear this and is willing to respond?
"She has a few gay friends and is happy to let them be. " Does that give her more credit in some of your eyes?
First off, the question was about DATING someone, not just being friends with them or hanging out with them, which makes this bit rather silly. But even ignoring that, there are 300 million people in the united states. Even if 90% of that holds an opinion that’s so repugnant as to break friendship, you’ve still got a pool of 30 million people to choose from, which is more than a ‘few’ friends (and it’s not 90%, even as far back as 1988 11% of the population was in favor of gay marriage). This is especially silly since people don’t interact with the population of the US as a whole, but with groups that tend to self-select for similar views.
My definition of ‘nice enough’ excludes racists, homophobes, and the like. I don’t see anything nice in saying that my other friends are morally wrong for simply existing.
Yeah. I don’t give a damn. If she’s got great tits she’s good to go. People have all kinds of silly beliefs. I dated a girl who was into crystal magic and astrology and all kinds of nonsense, she was totally cute. Don’t be so close minded that you write people off for not aligning with your world view.
I would attempt to have a conversation first. Maybe they are open to different ideals, but grew up in a home where they were constantly told it was wrong. Everyone is the way they are for a reason.
If the conversation didn’t work, I probably couldn’t be in a relationship with them. I’m Pansexual, so it would be an affront to who I am personally and that’s no acceptable in a romantic relationship.
How often would that even come up at least to where it would seriously get in the way of your professional or social life?
Every couple has topics of disagreement or at least they should IMO. It keeps you balanced.
I am an atheist. The last time I was in a church, something very, very bad happened.
“Topics of disagreement” to me would be things like whether to repaint the living room eggshell or taupe. Or whether to purchase or lease a new car. Judging others based on their sexuality? No.
Difficult to parse what “let them be” means. She thinks that being who they are is fundamentally wrong. It’s a little bit like a white supremist saying that she has some black friends; Pretty white of her, I guess.
I know / have dated way more people who think there’s something “wrong” with homosexuality than not, although to them it’s not so much wrong in the moral sense, but rather “unnatural”. I think some of us are forgetting that the majority of society is not as liberal as we. As long as they kept that opinion to themselves, it’s really none of my business. I certainly wouldn’t be around anyone who would act on those thoughts nor would I spend time with anyone who verbalized it.