I don’t necessarily have a problem with someone I have a relationship with having been to a prostitute before but I think it would color our future sexual experiences. I don’t know if I could ever be with him again without running numbers in my head of the “value” of different things and wondering how much my running tab should be.
It depends pretty seriously on what the circumstances of his patronization of a prostitute were.
If it was recent/ongoing, then that’s right out. I’m not happy in non-monogamous relationships.
And a goodly amount of my reaction would depend on the “why” portion of the experience. Was he purchasing his sex because he wanted to get his rocks off without having to be arsed to deal with a real relationship? Door. Had sex with a prostitute while single at a bachelor party? Meh. Renting hookers because he’s sure all women are good for is a warm wet spot for his dick? Door. Banged a hooker once or twice during his frat-boy-college-stupidity days? Meh.
So I don’t have a yes or no answer for the OP. It’s not a dealbreaker, but it’s something I’d want to know more about before I made a call one way or the other. Rather like alcohol consumption for me, really.
This thread is giving me a good chuckle.
Talk about working from a very small dating pool.
Jeesh.
I would have reservations about dating someone who has used prostitutes. The why would be a huge part as well as frequency. That’s not to say I have issues with sex, even casual sex. I’ve been around the block more times than I can count.
Part of it is that I don’t see why someone who otherwise has no problem getting sex would feel the need to pay someone for it. That is a concept that eludes me. (I can’t see myself involved with someone that would have serious issues with attracting people)
Are you saying that most people have been to a hooker or that most people have not? I’m not sure which part you’re referring to as a ‘small dating pool’.
I believe it was Charlie Sheen who said – and I think it was during the Heidi Fleiss trial – that he did not pay women for sex; he paid them to leave in the morning.
Do you straight guys really have that problem? Must be a benefit of being gay, men are easy. If you want only sex it is very easy to get. And they leave in the morning (or right after the act) with little entanglement.
There really does seem to be an element of that among the guys I know here who indulge. Often a girl does want to hang around with the guy, but the guy has other things to do, so it’s kind of like, “Well, here, here’s some money, I’ll see you later.” I’m oversimplifying, but the Charlie Sheen quote does get tossed around a lot.
In my case, it was that while I had no trouble finding sex partners, there were specific men with whom I wanted to have sex and they were available on a pay-to-play basis only.
Spoken like a man who has never had a trick turn to him right after the act and say “I love you.”
If you worked at the Red Cross, and wanted to date a blood donor, you could look that stuff up.* Blood donors get questioned on all kinds of detail about their sexual history.
- Probably you’d get fired if you were caught snooping the records, but hey, for true love and a clean STD test…
Maybe I was just lucky. Though I wouldn’t say it never happened, there were just never any longterm problems from it.
It’s all academic anyway; I’m 68 years old and married to my one true love: I ain’t gonna be dating no one, no how.
It’s hard to say…depends on the situation, but off the top of my head, it is a fairly obvious indication that we wouldn’t share the same viewpoints on sexual activity, so I’d probably go fare elsewhere. It’s just a really foreign lifestyle to me, with complications I likely don’t want to get into without some incredible mind-blowing payoff that I can’t think of at the moment. Perhaps we could just be friends.
Even if I was okay with it, if it was any time recent of our getting together, I’d probably be too squicked out by default anyway. I’m not sure how it would even come up, though.
Isn’t it already the case (very broadly speaking) that men and women already have very different views of sex? Yes, sex in the context of a relationship is better. But for most men, sex, no matter the circumstances, feels good. If other limitations aren’t present (fear of a discovery by a partner, fear of criminal prosecution, fear of infection, serious religious or ethical limitations, cost, etc.) and the libido isn’t being satisfied otherwise, then most men would do it. That’s just a basic fact of being a man. Right?
Not for this man.
Heh, I used to date a Prostitute. 
This doesn’t really respond to my statement, which was specifically couched in broad terms. Your case is anecdotal and irrelevant to this particular question.
Prostitution has been around, so far as I know, as long as humans have been around, and it has persisted in all kinds of legal, environmental, and social conditions. and in no society is it a minor or peripheral aspect. It’s always there, and it’s always there big. There is a basic male impulse to seek sex, regardless of the circumstances.
Thus, for every woman here who is saying that what would worry them about the prostitution issue is that “it is evidence that we see sex very differently,” the issue is really that almost all men have a very different view of sex than women do.
I think more men have been to hookers than women realize.
I get what you’re saying. However, a major turnoff of prostitution for me would be that the person only wanted my money, not to have sex with me. In even the most casual, meaningless one night stands (or hell, 15 minute stands) I’ve had there has always been the element that I wanted to have sex with them AND they wanted me. That element is removed when it becames nothing more than a business transaction. That’s one of the big parts I just don’t get about it…why someone would want to be with someone who had no actual interest in being with them.
That’s another distinction between men and woman, I’d guess. Women want to be with THAT man. Men want to be with A woman. Of course there are minimal standards, and sometimes the man’s emotions will change that equation.
I refer you to the ageless wisdom of Crosby, Stills and Nash, “If you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with.”
And by love, they mean screw.