Your OP is right-on and I can understand your frustration and ensuing barrage of dirty words.
One fuckwad I work with says he’s fed up with “all these damn judges that keep telling us we can’t hit our wives.” My jaw dropped to the floor upon hearing that. I mean I was flabbergasted. I couldn’t think of any response to that statement that wouldn’t involve my fist contacting his jaw, so I just fell silent.
I liked that you touched upon the non-violent offenders aspect to this whole thing. The number of these poor souls in U.S. prisons is larger than the entire population of Alaska! Apparently not too many people think that this is a big deal because they don’t do drugs or pick up hookers.
I wonder if they’ll still think that when they get pulled over by a cop who doesn’t like the color of their skin or their attitude and decides to plant drugs on them. The former chief of police right here in Lafayette, LA, was convicted of planting cocaine on a driver that was passing through the state. I also had a friend who had some weed planted on him, but only as a “look what we can do” warning. They didn’t arrest him. This kind of shit happens all the time.
Our wonderful land of the free now has a higher percentage of its population incarcerated than any country on earth! We passed up Russia a few years ago. Still, nobody seems to care. It’s just the damn druggies, right?
Most people don’t know this, but you can actually get the death penalty for marijuana in the U.S. under federal law. You don’t have to kill or rape anyone. Just sell enough weed and you’re dead:
Many states have mandatory minimums for pot dealers than can range from 3 years to mandatory life imprisonment. And this wife-beating, drunken scum can only get a MAXIMUM of four years?! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH OUR LEGAL SYSTEM?!
Sounds like she needs out of that situation, ASAP.
Good for you for trying to help, though - she will need all the support she can get.
Has she considered going to a shelter? These places are able to help - they’ll help with the finances, care for the child, and help her find new lodgings, work, supplies… whatever she needs.
It may be safer for her there than at home, even if the fucknugget gets arrested. He has friends.
It’s important that she, and the child, are safe. That should come first, above and beyond ripping this asshole’s dick off and shoving it up where the sun don’t shine.
As for him growing up and being an adult - my experience tells me that this will never, EVER happen.
Techchick, I think just about everyone knows a couple like this. Perhaps not to the degree you mentioned but things that leave you wondering why someone stays with such creeps.
It sucks for you, it sucks for your friend and it sucks for their innocent child. Yet, until your friend decides once and for all to be done with him, he will be there, sitting on his ass and being angry at the world and taking it out on your friend.
Last week here in Cincinnati, a man got pissed at his girlfriend’s friend for encouraging her to leave him. He was an abusive drunk. He broke into the friend’s house, stabbed her nearly to death, stabbed 2 of her 3 children to death (the third escaped) and then ran off to West Virginia where he is currently waiting extradition.
So be careful. You don’t want him to target you. I’m not saying to abandon your friend. But I wouldn’t provoke a volatile violent man.
I don’t get it. The friend is afraid of being alone, so she stays with the jerk. But she’s alone when he’s in jail for two months. She’s apparently alone while he’s on the run here (I’m assuming this since the cops never thought he’d be at his own place and he hasn’t been back for clothes). When he was in jail for two months, how did she survive? Didn’t she manage? Doesn’t that time alone show her she can make it without a man? Lonely and horny is never much fun, but come on…she’s employed, she has a child to tend to… that usually precludes any time for a guy anyhow! Doesn’t she breathe easier when he’s in jail and start getting nervous when it’s time for him to be released? Why doesn’t she get it?
kittenblue it’s a pattern that is very much repeated amongst women with lower self-esteem and those that have been involved in violent relationships in the past. She is loving her life this weekend without him around but come a week from now if he contacts her she might take him back. This is the phenomenom (sp) with women who continously get involved in these kinds of relationships.
I can’t shake her, yell at her or anything to make her think differently and find men in her life that are nice. I can’t do anything really but be there for her as limited as I can. I am allowing her to see this as an okay thing and I have been supporting her when she doesn’t need support, she knows my thoughts on this as I have given her how I feel about this whole thing.
PunditLisa I am not worried about him, his grandfather worked for my father, he knows that if anything happens to me and it’s by his hand, not only would his grandmother disown him, he knows I have legal abilities that he can’t fathom. Yes, it’s a snobby thing to say but he “thinks” he can get out of any jam because “his daddy has money” well my daddy has more money and if he were to lay a hand on me, his ass is up major shit creek. My parents are well aware of this situation and my father has warned me but this fuckwad is one of those wife beaters and not one to take it out on someone like me. I know that sounds funky but it’s true. Harming me would be against his grandfather’s memory so he wouldn’t do it.
Elenfair She has been in contact with the shelter in the past. The only thing we need to do at this point is figure out how to get the locks changed. She told him that if he leaves he is no longer allowed back. If she changes the locks and he breaks in, he has committed yet another crime and since he has a warrant out for his arrest, he’s stupid but he’s not that stupid to add another crime to get more time. He’s been minding his ps and qs enough to not get caught. He’s not going to harm her because if he does, he’s majorly fucked over. He may be a 30 watt bulb in a 100 watt world but he wouldn’t hurt her at this time, he already faces four years, another beating would add much more to his sentence.
neutron There’s no need for that since he already has a warrant out for his arrest. If only I knew where the mother fucker was I would call the cops and have his ass arrested. That’s the bummer thing, I don’t know where he is right now.
It’s damn frustrating, I hope with all the cops out for this extended holiday weekend that he gets his ass drunk and the cops pull him over. Drinking, driving, no insurance and the warrant, he’d be up his ass in legal issues. I just hope he doesn’t harm anyone in the process.
Simple call a locksmith, is what we do after all. If the doors do not have deadbolts have them installed as well.
If you want to go on the cheap installing deadbolts and such I can most likely walk you thru it via e-mail.
IANAL but he MAYhave some rights in regards to get his possessions from the house, if he has been living with her.
Of course, She can call a cop to be there when he is removing his stuff. With his arest warent out there, most likely the items hit the curb, or one of his family members needs to pick them up and store them.
The fact she is booting fuck nugget out is a good sign. When he does call again, She needs to remind herself of the bad time and not that once upon a time things were good and he can change back to the “nice guy” she married.
Elenfair has it right, her saftey and the saftey of the child is the most important thing.
Osip thanks for the offer but I used to sell windows and doors and have dealt with locking mechanisms much more difficult than a standard dead bolt or hand lock. Three point locks are a pain in the ass to fix.
The problem is that she’s already changed them once for a cost of $30. She can’t afford to replace them at this time because of her leach of a husband. He even took $20 from about $70 that she had stashed so she could make sure to afford food and diapers for her baby.
He still hasn’t attempted to come back home but I think he knows that the cops are looking for him so if he does go there, she has promised me that she will call the cops on him.