I’ve recently become acquainted with a couple who are big into a very popular multi-level marketing company. From all appearances, they’re some of the few who are extremely successful at it. A little Google snooping comes up with some pretty convincing info that they’re making in the realm of a million bucks a year, and their lifestyle seems to support that. They have a huge, beautiful house, drive really nice cars, etc. etc.
I pretty much expected to hate them when I met them. But… I don’t. They seem very down-to-earth, nice, fun people. Despite every piece of clothing both of them wear being emblazoned with their company logo (to the point I honestly was wondering if it was on their underwear too), they didn’t mention their company at all. They were at a birthday party of a mutual friend, and we’d all expressed some misgivings about them coming before they showed up (they were old friends with the birthday girl, and she hadn’t seen them in forever, invited them out of politeness never expecting they’d show up, but they accepted) they were really fun to be around and I talked to both of them quite a bit.
I have a lot in common with the woman, and we talked about getting together sometime. It’d definitely be a friendship I’d try to keep up with, were it not for the MLM thing. The more I read about their particular company, the more turned-off I get. It seems like the only people who are successful at it are successful because they are completely at ease lying to people about their products, cajoling them into becoming distributors, and generally being icky people.
I also worry about eventually being given the hard sell on their crap. Once again, it wasn’t mentioned at all in the several hours they were at the party. But… still…
Am I being overly critical? It’s just so weird. I was totally expecting these people to be pushy, smarmy, or worse, and they were none of that.
Give 'em a chance. You don’t necessarily have to be BFFs with them but there’s no harm in enjoying their company. If they start talking about their products and get pushy, feel free to shut them down obviously.
Oh - and by “their company” I meant “spending time with them”, not “the company they shill for”.
My sister was into that for awhile (thankfully, it passed). My strategy was to not talk about it and if I got any hard selling (or really any selling at all), I would just change the topic.
I wouldn’t get too involved with anyone who did this for a living since, at its base, they are making money by bilking those below them on the chain, So, they are either ruthless or too stupid to realize that they may be hurting others.
Seeing them at a party or two would be fine. Though I would make sure that all my buds knew the situation so they didn’t get sucked in.
A long time friend and his wife have become involved with a couple of MLMs, and I do have to admit that it has changed how I view communications with them. I really truly like them, but way to many of our interactions become tainted with their livelyhood. Probably less than 1 in 10 emails isn’t a sales pitch, and their visiting us (we live in different states) starts with them hauling in a couple of bags full of the newest stuff they are selling.
If you are the kind that can cut off a budding friendship, if necessary, I’d say go for it. Keep up the contact, but be willing to sit down and have “THE TALK” if necessary. “Suzy, I do enjoy spending time with you, but the constant selling is making me very uncomfortable.”
I used to be friendly with a couple who made serious money off of pyramid scheme vitamins and a chiropractic practice. They were nice people, but terribly insecure. It seemed to me that they only tried to rope in people who they were really close to. So, a less than “close friends” relationship is probably advisable.
If your estimation of your acquaintances’ position in the company is accurate, I doubt they’d put the hard sell to you, unless things had gone very badly for them all of a sudden. Since the only way to make a lot of money at it is to have a large number of people working under you, they probably don’t have to do any selling or recruiting anymore.
Of course, maybe they aren’t really doing so well after all. Perhaps the trappings of wealth are just set dressing to help convince suckers that the scam is profitable for everybody in it.
We’re not talking marriage here, we’re talking friendship. Relationships, even romantic ones, can grow in the least-expected places, with the least-expected people. Unless their work has a direct impact on you, give them a chance. And unless, of course, they’re engaging in behavior that is seriously unethical or illegal. It’s your call.
I’ve known, and currently have as clients, people like this. His and hers Maseratis, giant McMansions with circular driveways, staff on hand to do everything from dishes to diaper-changing to replacing lightbulbs. All from MLM scams selling acai berry juice to the unwashed ignorant, and getting members to pony up thousands in order to buy in. It wouldn’t be Monavie/Team, would it? Many of these [del]scams [/del] [del] schemes [/del] organizations have seriously whacked religious undertones, as well as, you know, being scams.
I was also very briefly involved with a Scientology MLM scam when I was *much *younger. Basically, people who are good at this sort of thing are socially adept, charming and fake as hell. That’s the personality required to do well with this.
Also part of the training is to hold off on “hard sell” until you have some sort of hook or angle, and avoid coming off like a religious kook or sales-person at all costs. Just be aware that’s a very calculated part of the strategy.
I’d lay it out ASAP and don’t be hurt if they fade into the distance as soon as they realise you’re not about to lay out ten grand or whatever on their scam.
It would be tough for me to have such a person as a friend. I’d know they were either crooks or very stupid. But I have a number of* acquaintances *who I wouldn’t want to get too close to, but don’t mind being around them occasionally. I think a friend is someone you could rely on, and someone involved in that sort of stuff doesn’t strike me as reliable.
Are we talking something like Mary Kay Cosmetics or Tupperware or something more sinister? I think you’re worrying too much in advance.
You like them so far, just see where it goes. If they try to talk to you about the company just say you prefer to keep your relationship personal. They’ll probably drop it. If they don’t then you can not see them anymore.
In principle, I wouldn’t have a problem with it, but in practice, my experience has been that people involved in MLM are strongly encouraged to regard their circle of friends as a pool of potential converts - and are often so focused on growing their chain (or whatever the goddam term du jour is) that they will keep on hammering at their friends until they either a)drink the kool-aid or b)turn away in exasperated frustration.
I’ve lost several friends this way (actually, in one case, they lost interest in me, because I wouldn’t join Amway).
I had a friend who was into it. He dropped me once he realised I had zero interest in it, and fairly bluntly at that.
Id say thats your main worry rather than being pulled in, ie if they’re really wanting to use you, they probably wont waste much time if they get the message that friendship is all you’re after, they’ll just try and find better prospects.
This. Personally I would be highly sceptical about whether these people are as successful as they appear. Appearing successful is part of the culture, and in itself a sales tactic, but their apparent material wealth may be heavily financed and illusory. However, if they are successful then they will know very well that they won’t gain marks’ trust by coming on strong from the get go. Being very nice and being down to earth and seeming to have similar interests to yours are exactly what I would expect the first time they meet you.
I was in the navy and had recently arrived at my new duty station. A new acquaintance invited me to a party. Yay - I was going to make some new friends.
Yeah. It was an Amway “party.” Up until that moment, I’d never heard of Amway, but I know it made me really uncomfortable listening to the pitch, especially since selling is *not *in my nature. They sent me home with a demo pack and I returned it a week later. So much for new friends. And now, I see commercials on TV by Amway, telling how they love their communities and build parks and stuff. :rolleyes:
A few years later, I was invited to a Tupperware party. I know that the point is to buy stuff, and that was fine - I wanted some of their stuff. But the saleslady was psycho - most of her efforts were in getting the “guests” to host their own parties.
So I guess the answer to the OP is that when the sales pitch starts, the friendship is over, at least for me.
I have a couple of acquaintances who sell Avon, I must say they’re totally non-pushy and I do occasionally buy from one of them. But I don’t think they make much money doing it. Maybe pocket change, so they don’t take it seriously.
This was pretty tacky though: I had to take a dog with a cut paw-pad to the emergency vet one Sunday. The clinic employed newly-minted veterinarians, maybe some sort of rotation or training. The young vet who treated and stitched up my dog started chatting about cleaning products, then handed me a brochure and encouraged me to look over their product line and contact her to order some.
I refused the brochure and told her I was absolutely not interested. Called the clinic the next day and talked to whoever was in charge about what I considered highly unprofessional behaviour. I hope she got firmly disciplined, if not fired for that shit.
Well, I do more or less consider their business unethical, at least somewhat. From what I can tell, their product is nothing you can’t buy in a different brand at 1/4 the price, and the bulk of the company’s revenue is from selling to their distributors, not a solid customer base. That’s at least borderline unethical to me.
More sinister. Mary Kay and Tupperware are both quality brands IMO. Hell, I think Amway makes stuff that’s hard to find elsewhere, though I wouldn’t want to be friends with a distributor. This stuff is just snake oil.
Yeah, that’s more or less my position. I’m just thinking it through some.
And, for more detail, in light of keeping the OP readable and not 2 pages long, I’ve left out that I have known these people before - the woman dated one of my brother’s when I was a kid, and I was fairly close to her for several years when I was growing up. Haven’t talked to her in years, and it was really a lot nicer to see her than I expected. For a while, she’d been like another sibling in our family, who of course went away when she and my brother broke up. She had some insights into my family when we were going through some bad times, and it was good to hear her perspective on things. So that’s one of the reasons why I’m so torn on this - on the one hand, I have some really good memories of her. On the other hand, she’s involved in what I consider a really bad company, and very successful with it.
I’ve had a few friends get into these things. I sit through the sales pitch once, say “no”, and then we go back to our regular routine.
I once had two friends who were in Amway. When X called to try to recruit me, I told him, “Sorry, but I already promised Z that, if I ever joined, I would let him sponsor me.”
I don’t have a problem with it, in and of itself. Where the friendships start to strain is when the MLM folks won’t take no for an answer, which hasn’t happened often, to be honest.
I used to work for a guy in college who’d drunk a gallon of the Amway kool-aid. He did sort of hoodwink me into going to some meeting/sales pitch, but after sitting through it, I told him no, I wasn’t interested, and that was that. Still went to his xmas party, still really enjoyed working for him.
The only frustrating thing is when the MLM folks don’t quite get it; I was trying to explain to a friend who sells Mary Kay, that based on how their structure and incentives are set up, the real meat of it is in getting new people to join, not in selling women makeup, mostly because they strongly encourage that new people buy $1000 in makeup for their on-hand stock.
I tried to explain that if they were more serious about selling makeup, they’d let you drop-ship the stuff, rather than make you buy it at half-price then mark it up accordingly, and let you pay the shipping.
My wife and I are friends with a couple where the wife in that couple sells Amway. When she started doing it, she tried to pitch it to us and in no uncertain terms we told her that 1) we weren’t interested and 2) if she wanted us to all remain friends, then she would not try to use the friendship in any way to guilt or obligate us into buying things from her. That worked very well until I did something stupid.
She had said that Amway sells everything at great prices, including cars. O.k., I said, if that is the case, in 2003, I was planning to buy a new and somewhat expensive car. I had the financing in place, had researched the vehicle heavily, had a buyer for my old car, and knew what I could get the new car for from the dealer having bargained them down as far as I felt I could. This was for a 2003 Infiniti FX35 SUV. I told her if she could match the best price I had gotten from the dealer through whatever Amway network she had, I would buy the car from her. It would still be coming from a dealer since it was the first year they made the car, and I couldn’t think of any shenanigans Amway could pull since with outside financing, it was a completely cash transaction from their standpoint, so I saw it as low risk. I figured that as a friend, she would get some kind of ‘credit’ or something for the sale, so it would help her out at no cost to me beyond what I had otherwise planned to spend. Great, she needed a week to make it happen. When she made zero progress in that week, I told her I would give her one more week, and that at the end of the week, I was buying it from the dealer as I had originally planned. That week went by and so I bought it as planned from the dealer. Then our friendship turned sour for about a year after that. Why? Because I was apparently an asshole for wasting her time because I “never intended to buy the car from her”. Uh, what? Last time I checked, I was very clear on the timeline. I was led to believe that if she had “just a little more time” she would have gotten me the car. I’m sorry, but I saw zero forward progress in two weeks to make a $37,000+ sale. Eventually we patched things up with the couple, and the original rules still apply. Had we not been friends with them prior to her starting Amway, however, I’m sure that would have been a deal breaker.
We recently met another couple on a camping trip that we liked and thought that was really going to go somewhere. Shortly afterward, the guy called me at work and wanted to get together for coffee, after which I got a sales pitch for some kind of annuity MLM crap he was pitching. I told him I wasn’t interested and that I also wasn’t interested in being friends since I felt their initial interest in us had been as a sales prospect from the start.
I would simply enter the friendship in good faith and take it from there, just like any other.
The day that my new friend starts asking me if I would be interested in their MLM products or organization, I will say No. I will say it firmly and explain that I prefer not to deal with MLM companies. If pressed, I will explain that I feel it has a negative effect on the sincerity of friendships and tell of a few past experiences.
If my new friend accepts that, then I will be happy and we will behave like friends.
Otherwise, if my friend continues to insist or simply stops being “friendly” once my value as a prospect is gone, then that will be the end of the friendship.