A Gathering In Which You Try To Sell Me Crap Is Not My Idea Of A Party


Parties are things you do for fun, not because you think you’ll be able to make some money off your friends. Parties do not require said friends to dutifully sit through a song and dance about the thrilling fabulousness of kitchenware, jewelry, lingerie, or scrapbooks. If I want to drink wine and buy shit, I’ll stay at home and watch QVC.

That said, I don’t mind if every other woman (and man, for that matter) holds this type of gathering – hell, have five a night. No skin off my nose. But I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect you to see that this may not be everyone’s idea of a good time.

So what really frosts my shorts is not that you’re having a crapware party, but that you have the fucking gall to be pissed at me for declining to attend – as if I’m not a true friend unless I buy at least a set of cheap steak knives.

Yes, I could have gone to give you “moral support,” except I don’t support you on this – I think these “parties” are boring as shit and I dislike the implied pressure on people you’re supposed to care about to buy stuff they may not want or need. “But so few people are coming” – yeah, no shit. See “boring” and “pressure,” above.

I’m sorry that your idea of friendship includes unequivocal approval of everything you do, and participate in something I just flat-out do not want to do. I guess that means I’m not a good friend to you. Well, your hissy fit is sure as hell making me wonder what kind of friend you are to me.

And that’s another reason to hate these stupid “parties.”

Argh, no shit. Thank God none of my friends are into this garbage – but I do hear about these “parties” occasionally.

An old colleague of Mr. S’s once called him up at work to ask if he wanted to get together for lunch. Mr. S hadn’t seen him in ages, so he said sure. Unfortunately “lunch” was apparently code for “let me give you the hard sell on joining my new pyramid/MLM/Amway/whatever-the-hell-it-was scam.” How pathetic.

Scarlett67, I know what you mean. My husband’s former best friend from high school called him up and invited us to dinner after finding out that we lived pretty close to him. The stupid fuck wanted to get my husband in on some MLM scam.

I’ve gone to one Pampered Chef party, and I admit that I was bored stiff. Food was good, though.

One of our “friends” called up my husband and told him that she had to attend an event, and really really needed an escort, so would he mind going with her. He said sure. Turns out that the “event” was a sales pitch for some MLM scheme that she wanted to recruit him for. :rolleyes: (That was weird on so many levels…)

Erm . . . “MLM”?

Multi-level marketing. Like Amway.

OH, I am Soooooo there. As a matter of fact, I think I did a thread recently (here or elsewhere) about what I should do in particular situation.

I’m a veteran of the home party craze of the 80’s - Home deco (you, too, could have 'ojet’s ‘dart’ just like 400 of your closest friends - the other phrase I recall from that was “wall grouping” - as in 'this would make a wonderful spring wall grouping. Apparently one was to re-do their decor with the seasons); discovery toys, tupperware, ‘happy things’, mary kay, jafra,

to top it all off, I had several friends who sold Avon or who’s kid was selling those damn knives.

I’ll write you a note Jodi so you don’t have to attend. and if they get pushy about it, remember, I have friends in [sub]low[/sub] places.

A neighbor up the street whom I’ve never met put a flyer on every door in the neighborhood about her scrapbook/craft/buy related stuff gathering, which was thinly disguised as a “get to know your neighbors” deal.

Will it never end???

My parents used to get invitations to timeshare condos. There was always a free gift in the adventure.

They went.

After sitting through the speeches, the tours and free lunch, they grabbed their gift and left. Something to pass the time in their early retirement years. What was surprising was the same timeshare people kept inviting them, they kept going, yadda, yadda.

I think they got a dozen free 5-inch television sets in total before they stopped going, and/or the timeshare folks quit inviting them.

“Party” nights or timeshare visits. The techniqures are similar.

To continue the minor hijack:

I once had a friend who received one of those “come in and listen to our real estate pitch, and we’ll give you a free ceiling fan!” letters from a subdivision developer. She wasn’t in the market for a new house, but she wanted a free ceiling fan. So she asked me to come along and sit there and keep her on task–“don’t let me sign anything”, etc. So I did.

The Real Estate guy, even after my friend told him right up front, “This is my friend Duckie, she’s here to keep me from signing anything, all I want is the ceiling fan”, doggedly drove us around and around the subdivision for an hour. We looked at plots, “uh huh, uh huh…”, he took us back to the office, and he tried to show her lots of glossy brochures, you know the drill.

So all I did was sit there in the spare chair and smile patiently at him, and he was finally so unnerved that he caved halfway through the brochures, got up abruptly and said, “Well, I guess we’re about done here,” and sent in a secretary with the fan.

Score one for the Alert Consumers.

To address the OP: Jodi, whenever I’m invited to Home Parties, it always seems to work out that that’s the same night that I have to meet with my investment counselor, or my gardener, or my psychic. “Gee, that’s too bad, I would have really loved to attend…”

Ah, yes. My mother had a Pampered Chef hen party tonight.

Fortunately, I work evenings. I showed up just in time for the food :smiley:

And what’s funny is when you watch these guys
A) squirm
B) get defensive

when you say the “P” word: “Pyramid” (as in “pyramid scheme”)

After the sputtering and rightous indignation stops, you get the ever popular “MULTI-LEVEL MARKETING IS NOT A PYRAMID SCHEME! It’s COMPLETELY DIFFERENT” speech.

When you ask how exactly it differs, they reply

“In a pyramid scheme you make your money by recruiting other people and getting them to recruit other people below them. In multi-level marketing, you make your money by selling stuff and recruiting other people and getting them to sell stuff and recruit other people below them!”

Frankly, I suspect some sort of alien brain implants.


Another story:

Best friend from highschools loser husband was undertaking yet another in a series of unsuccessful “career changes” when he got into selling home security systems.

He pushed and pushed my mom, who lives in a secured, 24-hr-day guarded high rise condo, to just “listen” to his shpeil and that it would help him “practice” his pitch.

She’s nice enough to have done it. When at the end of it, she said she didn’t need security, he got all pissy and pushed her to buy at least something small. Finally, I intervened and told him she’s on a fixed income (retiree) and simply doesn’t need any security system. He was annoyed for months.

He made the rounds of all our friends from highschool AND their parents and a few of them got suckered into buying something. Mind you almost all of them had functioning security systems already, so he just wanted them to ‘upgrade’ to his system.

What an ass.

I love going to those time-share deals. Get the free gifts, eat the free food, then tell the person you want to take the papers to your attorney before signing anything.

That ends the discussion quickly.

Years ago, a friend of mine from school I hadn’t seen for a few years called me up. “Round up the lads, I’m having a party.” “That’s nice,” we thought, and turned up with beers in hand. We sat in his living room, and he put on a Herbalife video of people at some evangelical conference giving ‘testimonials’ about how much money the product had made them.

We looked at each other like this: :confused:, ate his snacks and left. None of us have ever spoken to him or seen him since.

I’ve been to a few, a Partylight party (candles) Stampin’ Up (stamps and scrapbooking) and Peddler (cutesy fun things for your home.)

My big thing is how the hell can anyone afford these things? Although I did see a neat trick one “partygoer” did…she said she wanted to take the catalog home to look over it more closely. She didn’t buy anything, but I realized she very cleverly removed herself from the pressure of buying right then and there at the party…I might try it myself the next time I can’t get out of going to one…

Oh I avoid those parties, my worst experience was attending a scrapbooking affair. SInce I was a newbie I was alone in the kitchen while the hostess initiated me with her dazzling albums, then I was allowed in the dining room ( I only went to meet people as I was new to the area) with the other ladies who were very quiet and hardly glanced at me.

The hostess had the gall to ask me if I would like a refreshment and when I said yes please she said well I would rather you wait until you get to the dining room ?? WTF?

I said thanks anyway but I would like that 7 up now please!

God I burned rubber leaving the womans place. She kept inviting me back too!

Call me a cretin…I still want to see about selling sex toys this way.

Maybe I just relish the thought of a kitchen full of housewives asking me the difference between a ‘butterfly’ and a ‘busy bee’…


Cretin! :stuck_out_tongue:
I’ve done that … and frankly, it’s a blast. It was surprisingly educational for some women (you’d be amazed at some of the things people still think are acceptable to use as lubrication with condoms).

I wrote up my scrapbooking party memory in my LJ if anyone is interested:

And Hama- a friend of mine just went to a sex toy party and had a blast. Now THAT I would go to. Fun, fun! A party with plastic bowls for $20 each or candles that cost 5 times what they cost in a store? Not so much.