I post to this message board by slamming my forehead down onto a specially designed keyboard again and again, then painstakingly moving the mouse with my tongue to get the cursor to the letters I don’t want, and then hitting the “delete” key with the tip of my nose.
Uke, you don’t have arms or legs? Hah! You oughtta try typin’ with this damnable prehensile tail I’ve got. Sometimes the sonofabitch even falls off like a lizard’s. Then I gotta pick it up in my mouth and slap it on the keyboard.
Not to ignore you, Ike, dear, but I will attempt to answer H8_2_W8’s question. Let’s see, I just got home from getting stitches pulled from having a tooth cut out (broke, exposed root) last week, and then he cleaned my teeth. I am in the process of getting a new van, and had to tear up my house looking for my insurance card, which I just discovered was missing. My osteo arthritis is really acting up (yes, I know I’m too young to have this), especially in my right hip and left shoulder. I haven’t slept the entire night through since my hubby left in Jan. My back is giving me fits right now, I got stupid and tried to sweep and vacuum all of my floors in one day, and my back doesn’t like that. My feet are bothering me from all of the walking I did this weekend, and I’m still not completely healed up from my foot surgery last Nov.
Does that help you??
You are more than a human being, you are a human becoming.
That’s my name, not a description. I am neither purple nor a bear. Okay, so I’m purple.<a true Wally original!>
How about this? My lungs collapse on a regular basis – chronic low-level pneumothorax. When I get the chest pain, I have to stop what I’m doing. It usually goes away after a few minutes as the “bleb” – the hole causing the collapse – seals itself, and my lung reinflates. Every so often, though, this doesn’t happen, and I have to go to the hospital. If it doesn’t reinflate by itself, it’s into surgery for me.
Several years ago, I had a run of bad luck on the left lung. I had a chest tube put in. Sez the doc, this works 90% of the time. It didn’t; I had a re-collapse within four months. Then I had a horrible procedure I won’t describe, other than to say (1) it effectively grouts the outside of your lung and the inside of your chest cavity so they can heal back together, and (2) it’s so painful they give you a memory suppressant so you don’t go insane. Sez the doc, for the 10% who fail the first one, this works 75% of the time. Me? No. Back to surgery. This time, they remove the part of the lung that has the chronic holes, and staple me back together.
And I have a 50-50 chance of going through all of this on the right side.
Plus, my brother, two years younger, has an extremely rare hormonal problem that destroys his kidneys. He’s received one kidney transplant already, and according to the literature, if everything goes as well as it can possibly go, he’ll still be dead in ten years.