This was to the Tune of Billy Joel’s Allentown right?
I couldn’t, without first becoming fluent in French.
I would like to confirm that you can pee wherever, but poo is confined to bathrooms. It’s not Pootown, right?
I think I would be okay with people peeing anywhere/anytime the mood strikes, but I’m not as comfortable with the targeted peeing. Can’t it be illegal to mess around with my car, whether that means keying it or peeing on it? The law should prevent people from tampering with my car, including putting stuff in the gas tank, either pee or sugar or water or whatever else you can pour down there. Right now, sugar is not illegal, you can have sugar wherever you like (as far as I know) but you can’t put it in someone else’s car. Not because it’s sugar, but because it’s someone else’s car.
I just wouldn’t want to live down the road in Pooville.
OP says The local laws are favorable to your viewpoints. So if your viewpoint is no stuff in your gas tank, it is so.
Correct.
I’m surprised to see the size of the majority in favor of living there. Y’all are much less cynical than I would have thought. Keep in mind that some people (teenagers, frat boys, drunk people in general) are likely to be peeing in various places on dares and/or just to be assholes, and it only takes one to soak your upholstery, ruin your dress, or add an interesting new flavor to the buffet corn.
No no, the laws are favorable to your viewpoints, except in cases where peeing is involved. You can pee ANYWHERE, gas tanks included…it’s the fundamental inalienable right. Can’t tamper with your car in any other ways, though.
Just to let you know, my friend and I have been laughing our asses off at the responses (and the existence of the thread in the first place), so keep it up! 
Ah. But can you put a lock on your gas tank? Can people enter your home without permission? Are the laws of personal property void?
I understand that if you’re walking down the street, somebody can take a leak on you. You’re in public. But if you’re in your living room, can somebody come in your front door and pee on you as you watch TV? Clarify, please.
But of course!
Just because people can pee anywhere doesn’t mean they will.
Okay, I have a question. Say Guido hates my guts, sees me at the grocery store or wherever, and decides he wants to pee into my mouth. He asks his weightlifter/wrestler friend Linus, who just so happens to have accompanied him on this little shopping excursion, to grab me, pin me to the floor, and hold my mouth open. Is this perfectly legal, or is Linus liable to be arrested for assault and battery because HE’S not urinating at the moment?
OK, so I couldn’t be arrested for peeing on someone. What about for carrying a concealed weapon?
[sub]wink wink, nudge nudge. Say no more[/sub]
That rug really tied the room together.
I would love to live in Peetown myself.
Downtown OKC already smells like rancid urine and we don’t have any of that cool stuff you mention, so why not? Double pay is a lot of dough. It’s only reasonable to assume that with a localized abscence of consequences or social opprobrium the average person would indulge in far more daring excretory shenanigans. Kind of like Spring Break. If this law was instituted nationwide, I see less of a problem. As it stands, the place would become a tourist attraction. What happens in Urinetown, stays in Urinetown.
Is trespassing still a crime? If so, locks and fences make it easy to protect your house or business. I would have to buy all of my food and drink in another city however. If I can’t trust the guys at a restaurant not to wee on my steak, then I can’t trust the guys in the produce section not to desecrate the lettuce. How about medical care? While it might not be locally illegal for a surgeon to whip it out during an appendectomy and relieve themselves into the patient, fear of malpractice should keep them in line, right? Would the water supply be pee free? If city workers were free to let it fly between treatment and distribution (or while it’s in the water tower) that would be the deal breaker.
This could be fun if you could hook up your car’s battery to the bodywork in such a way that automotive urinators would get a surprise. Was it not the Beastie Boys who said “got nothing to lose so I’m pissing on the third rail”.
Don’t make the obvious joke, don’t make the obvious joke, don’t make the obvious joke…
There, I feel better.
Correct; Linus would be liable for assault and battery. Also, if Guido were to, say, knock you down and then pee on you, he’d be liable for the same thing, he just couldn’t be charged with the peeing part.
Exactly…but some may. The question is, how many?
Missed this part the first time around. If you didn’t invite them in, you can get them for trespassing. You couldn’t get them for assault or destruction of property, though, because they have the right to pee anywhere they happen to be (legally or otherwise). Also, if you invited someone over for coffee and they got angry and peed all over your couch, you couldn’t do anything except kick them out.
I would live there. I do think the social conditioning of not peeing in public would limit the number of people who would do egregious things with the right to pee anywhere. And ponchos and rubber boots are pretty inexpensive if I got downright weirded out by the possibility of encountered a pee-storm when I left the house.
Hell, my office is currently on a different floor from the bathroom. I’d love to be able to just wizz out the window.
Sign me up!
No.
I prefer apartments, and I’d get bored in a 100,000-person city.
If that’s negotiable, then hell, I smell pee every time I walk down 14th St now.
I think getting the shit kicked out of you every time you did something stupid, legal or not, would make any flagrant pisser rapidly reconsider their choice of expression. Consider: it is perfectly legal (most places, most times) for me to yell “NGGR!” at the top of my lungs. It will also get my ass kicked muy pronto (most places, most times). Same thing would happen in Urinetown.