You’re out in public and you’ve got to GO, like RIGHT. NOW. The nearest facilities are at least 5 minutes and a bit of walking distance away. There’s nowhere discreet nearby where you could go. Something like being on a full subway train and the next stop is a ways away.
Given these circumstances and you have to choose one, would you rather piss yourself or shit your pants?
WHY
Yes, why??
Pee all the way. Far less icky and stinky, easier to clean and a lot less germs.
I don’t know. Just a silly question.
I’ll piss on you.
I fart in your general direction!
FWIW, pee. I can at least pretend I spilt a drink over my crotch.
With the other option, the smell is way more of a giveaway!
I’m just hoping I’ve not played into some weird kind of fetish by answering this…
If I have to pee, I won’t pee my pants. We are men: every bush or tree or, in a pinch, a side alley is a potential public rest room. If I’m stuck on a train I might take someone’s coffee cup and be as discreet as possible.
But I ain’t peeing my pants!
I’m waiting for the person that shows up to give justification of #2 over #1. That’s going to be a hard sell.
No shit.
Need answers fast?
Well it would depend on where you’re going. If you’re headed straight home, it doesn’t really matter which, but if you’re going somewhere you have to be and can’t turn around and go home, personally I’d rather shit myself:
[ul]
[li]In a crowd, it’s not immediately obvious who it is, and you can easily play it off as fart. Embarrassing maybe, but you could get away with that. OTOH if you have a huge wet spot in your crotch running down your leg and your shoes are wet and there’s a wet yellow trail behind you, there’s no explaining that away; everyone knows what happened.[/li][li]Shit is, hopefully, solid. Once you’ve reached the appropriate facilities, assuming you’re wearing underwear you can take them off, toss them, clean yourself off, then just go commando until you can get home. If you’ve pissed all over your clothes, unless you’ve got spare pants on you, you’ve got to deal with that all day and even once it dries you’re still going to smell like piss. Beyond embarrassment, you’ve got to smell it all day. No thanks.[/li][/ul]
That’s a pretty easy argument to make. It’s a hell of a lot easier to conceal a turd in your underwear (as long as you’re out of sniff range) than pissed pants. Per the
OP, you are a five-minute walk from a bathroom. Every single person you pass (on both sides of the street and in cars and buses) will be able to see instantly that you just pissed your pants. Plus, there’s a chance it will leak into your shoes, ruining them forever.
Obviously, diarrhea is in its own category.
ETA: Poop ninja’ed by DCinDC.
Can it be a little bitty dry one that makes a cracking noise when it snaps off the mothership? Because I think I could just shake that one out and keep right on walking.
If you have to shit RIGHT NOW and can’t wait, it isn’t solid. You might want to rethink that.
Not sure where you get that idea. I’ve had plenty of urgent #2’s that weren’t liquidy. If anything, they were extra-solid.
I have never in my life had a solid shit that I couldn’t hold for a least 15 minutes, or more. If I’m already in the bathroom and have started the launch sequence, that’s a different story.
Well, if all you have to let out is a little Hershey’s Kiss…
That’s an excellent point. It’s quite easy to pee in a stray coffee cup, and hold on to it until the next opportunity. Just remember that it ain’t coffee.