Virgin pride! What?! … Ahem.
More than likely, this is the fact that I’m a virgin speaking, but I could see waiting. But that’s just me. I’ve always thought of sex as just plain sex (again, probly a virgin thing) but I can easily see how people would want to save themselves for their husbands or wives. I personaly don’t really want to, 'cause… Well, I’m a nineteen year old virgin… Should be enough said, there. -.-;
So, Eve, how ya doin’? 
No. We might not like each other’s taste.
Actually, that holds in a number of different fields…
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- So what do yuo do for the BSDM bit? Do you have somebody else, or are you just willing to go without?..
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- Not to pick on you or anything, but this is the exact reason I’d insist on trying before buying. I’m not attracted to overtly-religious people to begin with, so that’s not going to be anything stopping someone I’d be that interested in. So the only other possibility I would guess is that they are into something majorly-wierd, that they already know I’m not into. And this is the one person I’m supposed to get all my physical satisfaction from, from then on? And I’m theirs? Sorry, I see that as a recipe for failure. I don’t expect them to always do everything I want and likewise, but I feel that if you expect to become a couple with someone, your bedroom interests should at least be in the same ballpark…
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Hmmmm…probably not. But I have no problem with those who do.
It just isn’t really an issue with me-despite being raised Catholic, I don’t think pre-marital sex is a “sin.”
However, I would NEVER have sex with someone I didn’t love.
I would. I mean, if I found someone that really made me happy and I didn’t get sick of them in the years I would have to date them before marrying them, then yeah, it would be worth it.
If the two people really love each other, then the sex issue can be worked out.
Nope. I would worry that they were closet cases. Those darn heterosexuals trying to impose upon gay space. Really. Hmph!
Not in a million years, and not only wouldn’t I so much as consider marrying a man I hadn’t slept with, but I’d have to live with him first too.
I agree with all of you who mentioned the importance not only of intellectual, emotional and social compatibility as well as sexual, but also in with regards to living habits and preferences when it come to possible spouses. And I also agree with those of you who suggested that adding sex to the relationship is a means of cultivating deeper emotional intimacy. But anyway, no two people, no matter how compatible in all other regards, have the exact same preferences. The only way you even CAN find out your partner’s preferences (and for him/her to learn about yours) IS to live together first.
I did and four years later, we’re doing great. Sex is grand, but it’s the icing on the cake, not the cake itself.
No, and I wouldn’t buy a car without a test drive.
I wouldn’t put gas & oil in my sex partner.
I know a woman who would want that but it’s too spooky cause she wants no kissing & the guy to get a vasectomy first.
We tried to have sex before we got married but couldn’t. My wife to be was a virgin but had a some kind of thickened hymen that actually required surgery to be broken. Thank God for that because this thing was also the source of numerous gynecologic problems over the years for her prior to that.
We did live together for about 6 months before we tied the knot, and THAT was far more important and caused a lot more adjustment. Sex wise, it was all oral prior to the big day. And now that I think about it, we didn’t even have sex on the wedding night because we were too damn tired. I can’t even remember whether we did it before or after that day. Only that it was very painful at first for her, but has gotten much better as time as gone on, and now we don’t even have to use lubricants or anything else.
Now we do it about twice a week, and it is absolutely incredible. She’s practically knocked me unconscious a few times she’s so awesome at pleasing me!!!
Maybe I’m just a naïve virgin here, but there is more than one way to “test the equipment.”
I’d prefer not to wait as I feel sex is the ultimate expression of love and need not wait until marriage, but the SO is religious and I respect that. Besides, we have plenty of fun and leaving out the pregnancy issues* is nice.
By the by, she definately isn’t “uptight.” Mmmm.
*Yes, condoms and other birth control work, but there is always that slim chance.
I might. Although, I haven’t slept with anyone yet, so I can’t really be sure what a big deal “sexual compatablity” is… I don’t have religious reasons for abstaining, I just haven’t met a guy yet I care that much about. And I don’t know that I’d want a basis for comparison, so the whole “waiting if he’s willing” sort thing has an appeal. Also, it’s not as though I’d plan to marry someone without discussing what things I’d be willing to try in bed, anyway.
No.
After some pretty bad experiences in the past I would need to make sure he didn’t do things that would freak me out.
Not big things that he would notice, little things, like where he put his hands, how it felt to be under him, what he said and the tone of voice he used.
Not things I could easily explain without practical examples, and not things that are easy to consciously alter.
I couldn’t be with someone who reminded me too much of past events, no matter how much I loved them.
And I know that’s not terribly well explained, but I’m trying.
Sex before marriage is a requirement for me. I’m 38, after all. I don’t even know if I’ll ever get married, but if I do, we’d definitely live together first.
If I were answering this question 20 years ago when I was still a virgin, the answer might be different, though. But it seems that most people wait for marriage for relgious reasons, and I’ve never been religious or had a relationship that lasted with anyone who was.
Both my wife and I were virgins at our marriage. That was and wasn’t a mistake and so my answer isn’t really so simple as “yes” or “no”.
I think sexual compatibility in a marriage is very important. In my case, I foolishly thought we’d work it out and everything would be grand. Well, it wasn’t grand and still isn’t. At times it has caused problems, but those problems have been solved and never threatened the marriage.
Maybe there are compatibility issues which cannot be discovered until you are actually sleeping with someone, but right now I can’t think of any. In my case, I should have seen the problems coming (no pun intended) a mile away. I think the biggest concern I would have the next time would be if the fact they wish to wait is a big indicator of how interested they are in sex in the first place.
Like the man who ended up rich simply because he was illiterate*, I like to think I ended up with the most amazing wife because I didn’t sleep with her.
Short version: I wouldn’t again but I’m thrilled I did the first time.
*urban legend, but it still tells the tale
Good lord no!
Amen Mockingbird.
Ditto for me.
Sorry, but that one just makes no sense, as it stands. Have you suddenly gotten religion, or something?
Regarding the OP, I never have, and it’s unlikely that I would, but I can imagine a set of circumstances where I might. It would take a pretty far fetched scenario, though. It’s not like I, or anyone I’d be likely to marry, would have any virginity to save.
But, pre-marital sex is both a good bonding experience and a good test of compatibility in areas beyond sex. And, while I know that there’s no guarantee that problems won’t crop up, later, I still think it’s a good idea to “test drive” a potential life partner. It won’t eliminate all potential problems, but it can certainly prevent a horrible experience during the honeymoon.