I didn’t find out until I was unplanned until I was in my early teens…by then, I’d figured out Parent’s Wedding Day + My Birthday did NOT = nine months. Even assuming I was premature (by two months?) I figured something wasn’t right because my younger sister, who was an Rh baby, nearly died, and she was only a month early. So, how come, if I was two months early, I was just fine?
I confronted my mother, she admitted she’d lied, and I was pissed.
Both my kids were “oops” babies, meaning we weren’t quite ready for them, but we’re damn glad they’re here. As my dad once said, “The first one can come at any time, but the second one takes nine months.”
As already noted, unplanned and unwanted are two completely different things. Mine were unplanned inasmuch as I was quite surprised to fall pregnant a little over a month after I got married. But I certainly wanted them.
Then we "planned’ to have more kids but that plan fell through. Go figure.
Good lord, I think we only have two or three *planned * children in the whole of my extended family.
I always knew I was unplanned. My mom was 18 when I was born, five months after her wedding. I’m pretty sure I’m a prom night baby, conceived in a backseat amidst a sea of taffeta.
I was twenty and single when my daughter was born. I think she’d have figured out the “unplanned” thing all on her own. Smart girl, and all. But of course I’ve always been honest about it, it’s not some tragedy. Like many have said, “unplanned” isn’t remotely the same as “unwanted”. I wanted her, very much.
I was clearly a surprise, coming along quite a bit after the others. It’s never bothered me a lick. As others have mentioned, “unplanned” does not equal “unwanted.”
I know somebody who found out that her mother would have aborted her had she been able to get the money together. That, I’d have more trouble with.
I’m living proof that the contraceptive pill isn’t 100% effective. My parents never hid the fact that I wasn’t planned but it in no way stopped them from making me feel like I was loved/wanted.
I’m not a great baby-maker…so neither child was planned but both were gifts.
I miscarried my first and spent the first 7 months of my daughter’s gestation terrified I’d lose her. I told her how very much she was wanted. How everyone in both families so wanted her here safe. Her brother was an even bigger surprise and even harder to maintain. I lost another one in between them. I’ve told my son how I made a deal wih my OB…let me keep him and I’ll do everthing you say. Diet, insulin, weekly checks, bedrest, non-stress tests, everything. I agreed to a tubal no matter what his outcome was and I got it 12 hours after his birth. 21 and almost 18 years later, I still tell them they were my gifts.
No wonder they have such egos…MyGifts
If it ever comes up, I’ll be honest, but my child will probably figure it out on their own, what with the absence of a father and all. Again, unplanned and rather inconvenient but for all that, not unwanted. I feel blessed to live in a time and place where I had a choice, and I chose to keep my baby.
My mother always told me I was “unplanned, but never unwanted.” This has never bothered me. If she hadn’t told me, I would have figured it out eventually, as my birthday was a mere 6mo after their wedding. I think it would hurt my feelings more if she had thought that there was some reason to be secretive about that.
I’ve told both my little accidents that I cried my eyes out when I knew they were on the way. And that they’re the best things that ever happened to me.
I shared with my two sisters (who are nine and ten years younger than I am) about their nephew’s conception. I’d been married just six months when we forgot the diaphragm **one **night. So yeah, I told my sisters because when I was a teen I didn’t buy the notion that you could get pregnant from just one episode of no birth control. Surprise!
How hard can it really be to convey to a child that surprises can be good things?
I’ve always known that I was unplanned. Every once in a while my sister tries to use “accident” as an insult–and I tell her to come back when she’s got evidence that I haven’t been loved my entire life. It’s not really an important distinction to me, so I’d have no problem telling my own children. If anything, I think it’s nice to have an fuller sense of where you fit in in the story of your family.
A couple years ago it came up in conversation that my parents considered aborting me. This also doesn’t bother me–again, I’ve never for a second felt that I wasn’t loved. It also would have been a perfectly sensible choice, given that at the time of my conception they were poor as churchmice and living in a tent behind an ancient log house, whose renovation was taking every spare second of their lives with no end in sight.
I figured it out on my own. My parents were married in October, and I was born in May. I figured I was my mom’s birthday present (her birthday is in August). I asked her about it once after she’d had a glass of wine. She said “We got drunk, had a poke, and went to the CNE.”
It’s the stuff fairy tales are made of I tells ya, sniff.
I was conceived on my dad’s birthday, or thereabouts. My parents were married about 3 weeks later. They were always pretty open about the circumstances of the 3 busted condoms that led to me and my two sisters. I don’t really care. It kinda seems to me that there are more accidents and surprises than there are planned events anyway.
I actually assumed I was unplanned for a long time, and it never bothered me. As a teen, though, the subject came up, and my mom assured me I was actually planned. ::shrug:: Planning to become pregnant when you’re not even 18 (married at almost 17, so no, she wasn’t pregnant when they married) and will be living on the opposite side of the world from everyone you know (Japan) except your husband? Crazy. Yet, I’m glad she did it, and they were great parents.
Well, those assumptions don’t always hold up. Our youngest is 8 years younger than our middle, but was quite planned. You see, for years after our second one, we both said “Two is quite enough, thank you”, but then, out of the blue, hubby decided maybe we should try “one more time” for a boy, before we got too old! So, we ended up with a 12-year-old, an 8-year-old, and a newborn! (All girls, too!)
Our first one, OTOH, was a surprise, and we’ve never made a secret of that fact. I used the explanation from Roseanne, too. I saw that episode when my oldest was very young, and thought “Hey, I’m gonna save that one to use in a few years!”
I know that I was both unplanned and nearly aborted. I was the result of basically a ‘summer romance’ which left my mother single in the mid 70’s. Those circumstances don’t mean that she loves me any less and being unplanned for has not been a negative in my life.
My best friend was told that she was concieved so the older daughter wouldn’t be an only child. Then told by her mother that boys were bad, boys were dumb, etc. Then the mother was shocked when she said she was a M>F TS.
I can’t think that being “planned” in the sense that you’re there to be a pet for your older sibling is a good thing. The mom never said they wanted two kids, just that they thought it would be better for the first-born to have a sibling. Or maybe my friend has issues.
I just found out recently that I was unplanned. It was quite surprising since my parents already had two boys and I just assumed they were trying for a girl.
What really disturbed me was the realization that they had probably conceived me on the night of their tenth wedding anniversary. Which of course was only one of three times they ever had sex.
