Hold on, cowboy! Patience! You’re getting in on the ground floor, here. I’m still putting together the business plan, lining up investors, staging myself for an epic battle for the souls of true believers, etc.
You’ll get your money. These things take time, is all. And, uh, last time I checked, I didn;t see anyone else knocking your door down offering you cash for you soul. Just chill for now, ok?
#1) buy souls
#2)
#3) big profit.
What else do you need?
I’ll go lower if it’ll speed things up as I’d like to get in on this before your medication kicks in. Selling imaginary things to delusional people isn’t something I feel comfortable doing, so I want to get paid up front and NOT on delivery. Collection of the soul is your responsibility.
I just looked at my mp3 list and I got no soul. Ian Anderson singing T-Bone Walker “Stormy Monday Blues” is as good as I can get.
I’ll trade my soul for one new Playstation 3 console, unopened. Retail it will go for @ $600. Granted it’s a little more expensive than the hunskie you were offering earlier, but this way there is no cash involved, and no need to worry about funds transfers, exchange rates, sales taxes, IRS etc. Once my friends and neighbors see my sweet new video game system I can pass your info on to them if they are interested. I’m an athiest now, but I used to be Eastern Orthodox.
While entering into a volume driven soul market is a good base for a business I figure you have got to look forward and start planning for a luxury model line.
I see that the going price for an athiest’s soul is $100, but what if I were to join a religion first and then sell my soul to you? How much would a soul that comes with say an unbreakable contract for eternal life be worth? In other words what kind of options and accessories could I upgrade my soul with to make you more interested?
Plus, I would totally sell my soul it I was paid with a canvas bag with a comically large dollar sign stenciled on it.
Mine’s a christian soul, but I’d be willing to give it up if you can teach me how to play this here guitar real good.
Oh, and I won’t take any wooden nickels
When I sell my soul
Here’s hoping someone gets the reference
It never hurts to hedge your bets, particularly if you don’t know the odds.
I might be willing to consider outright sale, although I think $100.00 is a pretty low price. Last time I checked, my soul has hardly been used. And I do have the original packaging, which IIRC always adds to the value of collectibles.
All right then. The crossroads at midnight it is.
#2 Strategic positioning between existing Soulmongers.
Delusional? I think not. I’m an enterprising visionary. Ahem.
Hmmm. Let’s see here. I don’t have a PS3, but I do have this here Cribbage Board, and two decks of cards, if your interested. I can probably throw in some office supplies, too. How about a couple boxes of pencils, a few sharpies, some staples, and a box of elastics?
HEY! Whoa up a minute there pard… Let’s see this cribbage board.
And what kind of pencils are we talking? Ticonderoga #2? Pentel .5mm mechanical? Details man! You can keep the $100 if it’s a nice cribbage board without half the pegs replaced with used golf tees
Oh crud, I already admitted that I ain’t got no soul. 
Um, the pencils are standard yellow, wooden, and have the cryptic slogan “WB Mason” emblazoned on them.
I don’t believe the fair market value has been properly established yet. I’ve seen the $100 price bandied about but I’m unclear as to what quality of soul that is for. I have a very clean untouched soul that I’m sure can garner a much higher price. I haven’t committed any crimes or participated in any commonly identified sins. Surely I could fetch closer to 1G? I’m keeping my conscience, that’s not for sale.
You should forward this offer to Washington D.C. . Thier having a fire sale – a dime a dozen 
Listen, if you think you can do better somewhere else, then by all means I encourage you to do so. But, as I pointed out before, I don’t see anyone else around here offering you a hundred bucks for your eternal soul. Also, I’m willing to negotiate with you, but $1K is just way high.
Sometimes I feel bad about that, but then I remember that fat-bottomed girls make the rockin’ world go 'round.
I’ve sold it four or five times before. So sure. How much will you pay for it?
I’ve decided to go public with my soul. After some discussion, the board of directors have agreed to make available 49% of the net worth, thus remaining the majority shareholder.
For ease of processing, each hundred-share will represent 1% of the IPO.
Greenback Inc. (GI) is a solid corporation, specializing in conservative living while open to change. There is very little in the way of aspirations so GI will not be selling out in order to get ahead in life.
Historically, GI has been a steady investment, moving up steadily. GI’s first foray in to pubic trading was a 100% takeover by Mrs.Greenback. In the last 5 years, Mrs.Greenback has split the shares three separate times in order to better distribute the wealth of returns. GI’s heart trading now stands at Mrs.Greenback – 51%, lil Greenback – 20%, Princess Greenback – 15%, and Greenback Terror 14%.
The value of GI’s soul slipped slightly over the last year but has now taken an upturn and represents a great opportunity for the conservative investor looking for a consistent return on investment year after year.
You couldn’t reach my price. 
Yeah, sounds like a deal to me. A $100 it is
My email address is tskaggs6@email.com
Send the necessary paperwork. I’ll fill it out (we’re gonna assume here that there’s no SS# or such like involved, aren’t we?) and mail/email it back and I’ll trust you send the .1k