Would you support manditory home hymen inspections for all spinsters?

This is an offshoot of an earlier thread that I posted in, Would you support jackbooted thugs beating down your doors and setting your homes on fire?.

The question is, would you be supportive of manditory visits to homes of older unmarried women by officials from social services to inspect their hymens? For example, three times a night, every spinster would be visited by a government bureaucrat, just to make sure that her hymen is intact. I do not mean all women who have not borne children, all women who haven’t paid their property taxes, or all women who are a, b, or c. I mean all unmarried women.

If you do support this, what should the visit entail? Should the agent wear a latex glove? Should male agents use erection supressing lotions? If the agent contracts an STD, should the spinster be held liable, and to what degree? If the woman insists that she is married, should she be required to produce her husband? And should his anus be inspected, too, for hemorrhoids? Or should the burden be placed on the state representative to decide which one he wants to inspect?

This has got to be an all-time low.

Oh, and if you do support this, should the visits be a surprise? Or should they be regularly scheduled? What if the spinster isn’t at home?

What kind of homes have a hymen? Did you mean trampoline?

Dude, this is pretty rough.

Allow me to be the first to say:


The Fuck.

Are You Talking About.


I think the burden of Hymen inspecting falls a little too heavily on Jews.

“Hymie! They’re prying open my cervix again…call our lawyer!”

“Lost!? How could you get lost? I DREW you a MAP!” — Chevy Chase (Funny Farm)

So, if the hymen is found to be not intact, what happens? A fine? Jail time? Mandatory surgical hymen repair?

Speaking as an older, unmarried woman, may I add that “spinster” and “virgin” are not necessarily synonymous?

But what about the confirmed bachelors?

Now wait a minute. Speaking as a spinster, I’ve got a few questions about these inspectors. Specifically, would they be male, heterosexuals who possess reasonable hygeine and appropriate skills, and, if so, would they be willing to attend to other things while inspecting said hymens if the person being inspected were willing? If so, I might be willing for a tax hike for this! :smiley:


I fail to see the point.

Good questions all. But the reason I bring this up is because someone mentioned manditory restaurant hygiene inspections. And I don’t see why those people wouldn’t support this.

If I had evidence that these woman were causing harm to children with their hymens, I’d at least consider it.

Plus I’d be a bit disgusted.

I think what we need here is someone who can talk jive.

What qualifications are required of the inspectors and where can I apply?

How in the mother fucking world could restaurant inspections even remotely relate to invading a woman’s body for something that has no effect on the outside world?

Or should there maybe a TAD MORE EXPLANATION HERE.

You know he’s slipping when you can see just from the thread title that there’s some sort of parody going on here.

Lib, dude, the link machine is your friend;)

jar: think “initiated force” and it becomes relatively clear. Not the most relevant parody, methinks.